The Golden Girls quotes
465 total quotesDorothy: Ma, did Jean sleep with you last night?
Sophia: Dorothy, there are a lot of things I want to try before I die but that's not one of them.
[Blanche enters]
Sophia: Dorothy, there are a lot of things I want to try before I die but that's not one of them.
[Blanche enters]
Dorothy: Ma, don't be ridiculous, just turn up the heat.
Sophia: It's already on 9. On 10, you can cook a Lean Cuisine!
Sophia: It's already on 9. On 10, you can cook a Lean Cuisine!
Dorothy: Ma, have a wonderful trip and call me the minute you get there. And please, Ma, try not to argue with Phil's wife.
Sophia: We get along okay. Phil's wife has her good points. She's sweet, she's reliable, and when her father gets out of prison, she'll be a wealthy woman!
Sophia: We get along okay. Phil's wife has her good points. She's sweet, she's reliable, and when her father gets out of prison, she'll be a wealthy woman!
Dorothy: Ma, it's 8 o'clock in the morning, what are you doing with the sherry?
Rose: Don't worry! I'm not gonna drink it. I was just gonna hide it from the dog.
Rose: Don't worry! I'm not gonna drink it. I was just gonna hide it from the dog.
Dorothy: Ma, ma, you promised you'd stay in your room 'til the meeting was over.
Sophia: Who am I, ALF?
Sophia: Who am I, ALF?
Dorothy: Ma, the taxi driver said you promised him a $67 dollar tip!
Sophia: Don't be silly, I said a $6, $7 dollar tip! Why don't these people learn English if they're gonna live here? This is Miami - I'd have less trouble getting around Ecuador!
Sophia: Don't be silly, I said a $6, $7 dollar tip! Why don't these people learn English if they're gonna live here? This is Miami - I'd have less trouble getting around Ecuador!
Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing!?
Sophia: [caught sneaking Bridget's meal] It's a little habit I picked up, I call it eating.
Sophia: [caught sneaking Bridget's meal] It's a little habit I picked up, I call it eating.
Dorothy: Ma, where are you going?
Sophia: To throw some holy water on her [Mrs. Claxton]. If she spits up pea soup and her head spins around, we're in big trouble!
Sophia: To throw some holy water on her [Mrs. Claxton]. If she spits up pea soup and her head spins around, we're in big trouble!
Dorothy: Ma, you can't sleep either?
Sophia: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink.
Sophia: No, I'm sleeping so good I thought I'd come try it in the sink.
Dorothy: Margaret, uh, please sit down.
Blanche: Maybe we oughta get her a booster seat.
Dorothy: [to Margaret] Can I get you a drink?
Blanche: How 'bout chocolate milk?
Rose: [sitting down next to Margaret] So, Margaret, you're from Atlanta.
Margaret: Well that's right.
Blanche: That child over there is trying to steal my daddy away. She ain't better but a tick on a slow moving hound dog.
Dorothy: Why is everyone around here talking like Burl Ives?
Blanche: Maybe we oughta get her a booster seat.
Dorothy: [to Margaret] Can I get you a drink?
Blanche: How 'bout chocolate milk?
Rose: [sitting down next to Margaret] So, Margaret, you're from Atlanta.
Margaret: Well that's right.
Blanche: That child over there is trying to steal my daddy away. She ain't better but a tick on a slow moving hound dog.
Dorothy: Why is everyone around here talking like Burl Ives?
Dorothy: Merry Christmas, Rose. Merry Christmas, Blanche.
Rose: Merry Christmas Dorothy, Merry Christmas Blanche.
Blanche: Merry Christmas Rose--
Sophia: What the hell is this, The Waltons?
Rose: Merry Christmas Dorothy, Merry Christmas Blanche.
Blanche: Merry Christmas Rose--
Sophia: What the hell is this, The Waltons?
Dorothy: Mr. Pfeiffer...
Mr. Pfeiffer: Oh, no, it's Puh-feiffer. The "P" is not silent.
Dorothy: ...anyway, Mr...Puh-feiffer...about the puh-funeral -- about the funeral...
Mr. Pfeiffer: Oh, no, it's Puh-feiffer. The "P" is not silent.
Dorothy: ...anyway, Mr...Puh-feiffer...about the puh-funeral -- about the funeral...
Dorothy: Oh Blanche honey, I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your rhinestone necklace.
Blanche: No, that's alright, but I think I should point out it was designed for a dainty neck.
Dorothy: Yes Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry.
Blanche: No, that's alright, but I think I should point out it was designed for a dainty neck.
Dorothy: Yes Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry.
Dorothy: Oh Blanche, have you seen Jean this morning?
Blanche: She and Rose shared a room last night. Listen, Dorothy... You don't think Jean would ever...do you?
Dorothy: Look Blanche, I DO NOT believe that anything other than Gin Rummy happened between Jean and Rose last night.
[Rose enters]
Blanche: She and Rose shared a room last night. Listen, Dorothy... You don't think Jean would ever...do you?
Dorothy: Look Blanche, I DO NOT believe that anything other than Gin Rummy happened between Jean and Rose last night.
[Rose enters]
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, how would you feel if your son were marrying an older woman?
Blanche: Dorothy, when my son was five years old, he nearly burned down our whole town. Since then, nothing he does upsets me. Hell, he could marry Lillian Gish and I wouldn't care.
Blanche: Dorothy, when my son was five years old, he nearly burned down our whole town. Since then, nothing he does upsets me. Hell, he could marry Lillian Gish and I wouldn't care.