NewsRadio quotes
121 total quotesJoe: Dude, you can't adopt a baby.
Bill: Why not?
Joe: Actually I don't know why not, but there's gotta be some reason.
Bill: Why not?
Joe: Actually I don't know why not, but there's gotta be some reason.
Joe: I'm rewiring the phones for speed-dial, so like, if you have to call 911 you don't have to push a whole lot of buttons.
Lisa: Do you really think that Bill is going to spend three hours a day teaching his child the difference between integrated and non-integrated algebraic functions?!
Dave: No, but raising children is about love. Didn't you have any love when you were growing up?
Lisa: Yes, of course we had love, at very judiciously determined intervals. I'm sure Bill is just going to lavish it on them all the time!
Dave: No, but raising children is about love. Didn't you have any love when you were growing up?
Lisa: Yes, of course we had love, at very judiciously determined intervals. I'm sure Bill is just going to lavish it on them all the time!
Lisa: Sorry I'm late. The chambermaid couldn't get my corset laced.
Matthew: Yeah, I've been there.
Lisa: You don't wear a corset, Matthew.
Matthew: Not anymore, I'll tell you that much.
Matthew: Yeah, I've been there.
Lisa: You don't wear a corset, Matthew.
Matthew: Not anymore, I'll tell you that much.
Matthew: [singing] Ted... He's dead... And the hobbits and the gnomes, they're dancing to and fro. They have to keep the plus 2 sword from the chaotic evil thief lord. Now we're rocking, now we're really rocking!
Matthew: Dave, we have got to get rid of that security door.
Dave: No, we don't.
Matthew: Yes, we do. A little bird just flew into the glass and died.
Dave: Really? [They go over to look.] Matthew, that's a Cornish game hen.
Matthew: Doesn't it make you want to cry?
Dave: You didn't even bother to defrost it.
Dave: No, we don't.
Matthew: Yes, we do. A little bird just flew into the glass and died.
Dave: Really? [They go over to look.] Matthew, that's a Cornish game hen.
Matthew: Doesn't it make you want to cry?
Dave: You didn't even bother to defrost it.
Matthew: Dave, when am I getting my job back? 'Cuz, I am going stir crazy.
Dave: You have to have patience, Matthew. I'm doing everything I can.
Matthew: Well, I'm doing my part.
Dave: I know. Unfortunately, that is precisely why you were fired in the first place.
Dave: You have to have patience, Matthew. I'm doing everything I can.
Matthew: Well, I'm doing my part.
Dave: I know. Unfortunately, that is precisely why you were fired in the first place.
Mr. James: Dave, please, I don't think now's the best time to regale you with stories of my world famous root beer jacuzzi.
Mr. James: Dave, please. You don't drop a piranha in a kiddie pool and then stick around to watch the bubbles.
Mr. James: Dave, what do you say we hire someone to work at the station for no money?
Dave: Ah, so you're considering hiring an intern?
Mr. James: Well, I was hoping we could call him a "Jimmy James Rockin' Ranger", but I guess "intern" has a ring to it too.
Dave: This wouldn't happen to be one of your weird nephews, would it?
Mr. James: No, no, no. This is one of my normal nephews.
Dave: [groans]
Mr. James: I'm serious, Dave. This kid's so normal he makes Richie Cunningham look like a crack smoking porn freak.
Dave: Ah, so you're considering hiring an intern?
Mr. James: Well, I was hoping we could call him a "Jimmy James Rockin' Ranger", but I guess "intern" has a ring to it too.
Dave: This wouldn't happen to be one of your weird nephews, would it?
Mr. James: No, no, no. This is one of my normal nephews.
Dave: [groans]
Mr. James: I'm serious, Dave. This kid's so normal he makes Richie Cunningham look like a crack smoking porn freak.
Mr. James: I've got so many lawyers lined up to see me, you'd think I had tobacco leaking outta my breast implants.
Mr. James: Spare me. If I believed in fairy tales I wouldn't have dropped out of kindergarten.
Reporter: What did you mean when you said, "Feel my scales donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey?"