NewsRadio quotes
121 total quotesBeth: But, Mr. James, what if you're fatally injured, or even killed?
Mr. James: Well, then let them say this about me, "He died with his balloon on."
Mr. James: Well, then let them say this about me, "He died with his balloon on."
Beth: My mother always told me I had a beautiful singing voice.
Bill: Well, my mother made me wear a dress 'til I was nine. They make mistakes!
Bill: Well, my mother made me wear a dress 'til I was nine. They make mistakes!
Bill: Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say "I never liked you. Get lost."
Bill: Is it getting chilly in here, or are you wearing an anatomically correct bra?
Bill: It's like my father used to say: "When I was a child, I thought as a child and spoke as a child. And when I became a man, I took that child out back and had him shot."
Dave: Bill, was your father in the Khmer Rouge?
Bill: Automotive sales.
Dave: Bill, was your father in the Khmer Rouge?
Bill: Automotive sales.
Bill: What exactly do scissors help you be prepared for?
Mike: In case I get arrested, to cut the handcuffs.
Bill: Handcuffs are made of steel.
Mike: So are scissors!!
Mike: In case I get arrested, to cut the handcuffs.
Bill: Handcuffs are made of steel.
Mike: So are scissors!!
Danny: You know, when I first hooked up with Matthew I thought, "Hey, I want one of the little ones." But then as time went by and we got to know each other, I realized he needs just as much guidance, and love, and good old-fashioned big brothering as anyone else.
Lisa: That's true. Which is sad. But still.
Lisa: That's true. Which is sad. But still.
Dave: Bill, is your life so boring that you have to fantasize about imaginary love triangles you're not even a part of?
Bill: Yes.
Bill: Yes.
Dave: Bill, this is not a frat house. We do not haze the interns.
Bill: Come on, all the top companies are hazing new employees!
Lisa: Bill, that's a lie.
Bill: Read the papers. Corporate America is finally waking up to what fraternities and biker gangs have known for years. Hazing works!
Bill: Come on, all the top companies are hazing new employees!
Lisa: Bill, that's a lie.
Bill: Read the papers. Corporate America is finally waking up to what fraternities and biker gangs have known for years. Hazing works!
Dave: Bill, who is that man, and what the hell is he doing?
Bill: Oh, Cadbury's my new manservant. Isn't that right, Cadbury?
Cadbury: The master is correct.
Dave: You hired a butler?
Bill: I prefer the term "gentleman's gentleman".
Bill: Oh, Cadbury's my new manservant. Isn't that right, Cadbury?
Cadbury: The master is correct.
Dave: You hired a butler?
Bill: I prefer the term "gentleman's gentleman".
Dave: Hear me well! As of today a new Dave is born. A Dave who for lack of better words is...pure evil.
Dave: I agree. I think something needs to happen to relieve Matthew of this responsibility.
Joe: You want me to kill him?
Dave: No, I think that if something were to happen to the car the investigation might not be that aggressive.
Joe: You want me to kill him?
Dave: No, I think that if something were to happen to the car the investigation might not be that aggressive.
Dave: No, I am not paranoid, because I can say without a trace of irony...you're all out to get me.
Dave: There are things in this life worth living for.
Lisa: Like love?
Dave: I was talking about coffee. By the way, do you have any?
Lisa: Love?
Dave: No. Coffee.
Lisa: No.
Dave: Well, then what's the point? [drowns himself]
Season 5
Lisa: Like love?
Dave: I was talking about coffee. By the way, do you have any?
Lisa: Love?
Dave: No. Coffee.
Lisa: No.
Dave: Well, then what's the point? [drowns himself]
Season 5
Joe: Did you commit any crimes that weren't SAT related?
Lisa: I broke into a library.
Beth: To vandalize it?
Lisa: No, I had a big history test and the only copy of the Federalist Papers I had at home was abridged.
Lisa: I broke into a library.
Beth: To vandalize it?
Lisa: No, I had a big history test and the only copy of the Federalist Papers I had at home was abridged.