Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes
1930 total quotesCrow: So this is public television, huh? Suddenly I feel like beating the crap out of Fred Rogers.
Crow: So, Mike. This is Hell.
Mike: Yep.
Crow: Mike, I demand that you kill me.
Servo: Me too.
Mike: No. [a beat] Will you kill me?
Mike: Yep.
Crow: Mike, I demand that you kill me.
Servo: Me too.
Mike: No. [a beat] Will you kill me?
Crow: So, the premise of this movie is that everyone is just nuttier than all get-out?
Crow: So, this movie's kind of a combination of "The Tell-Tale Heart", Blithe Spirit, and...well, a piece of lint, I guess.
Crow: Suzie thinks she doesn't need a seatbelt. Let's watch Suzie go ballistic, through the windshield.
Crow: The movie really heightens the lack of interest in the film.
Servo: Yeah, I think--huh?
Servo: Yeah, I think--huh?
Crow: They just put a bunch of movies in a blender and pressed the 'Mix' button!
Crow: Um, folks? We'd like to show you clips of one of the crappier big movies of the summer, but we'd get sued. Yes, we'd get sued for showing you clips of G[bleep]a. Even saying Go[bleep]la will get the bejeezus sued out of you. So I made my own giant lizard film to offer as my alternative to God[bleep]. Enjoy. Won't us?
[Poorly made title screen for "Goshzilla" appears followed by what's clearly Crow under a table ramming a Iguana doll into cardboard cutout buildings and plastic pedestrians, while making growling noises]
Crow: There! And it's Matthew Broderick free! Oh, and Mike paid a quarter to see it, so it's already made more of a profit than [bleep]zilla."
[Poorly made title screen for "Goshzilla" appears followed by what's clearly Crow under a table ramming a Iguana doll into cardboard cutout buildings and plastic pedestrians, while making growling noises]
Crow: There! And it's Matthew Broderick free! Oh, and Mike paid a quarter to see it, so it's already made more of a profit than [bleep]zilla."
Crow: Wanda Cannon? Now that's a porno name if I ever head one! Not that I've ever heard one... You know, I don't subscribe to lots of publications or anything.
Crow: Welcome back to the MST3K Blockbuster Review, featuring the summer movies, that, thanks to an amendment tacked onto last year's highway bill, we're all required to see.
Servo: Um-hmm.
Mike: Our next one is the Jamie Lee Curtis thriller, Halloween Water, which�� I think is about a pumpkin-flavored soft drink or some such thing.
The Truman Show
Servo: Um-hmm.
Mike: Our next one is the Jamie Lee Curtis thriller, Halloween Water, which�� I think is about a pumpkin-flavored soft drink or some such thing.
The Truman Show