M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesBJ: We can throw a surprise party in the mess tent. That's the last place anybody would expect to find food.
BJ: We discovered a new medical procedure. Take no pills and call me in the morning.
BJ: We sit around here in our Hawaiian shirts and red suspenders, thumbing our nose at the Army, drinking home brewed gin and flouting authority at every turn, and feeling, oh, so superior to those military fools who kill each other and oh so self-righteous when we clean up after them. Well, good luck to you pal. I hope you can...keep it up. The minute I cut that rope, they made me a soldier.
BJ: Well, if it isn't Benjamin Franklin Pierce Hawkeye, named for a president, an Indian, and a stove.
BJ: When you see the kind of horror that we do, day in and day out, you don't just feel close. You cling to each other.
BJ: Where you going, Frank?
Frank (Last Line): I don't know. Uh... Just felt like grabbing a cold shower.
Season 6
Frank (Last Line): I don't know. Uh... Just felt like grabbing a cold shower.
Season 6
BJ: You know how I like mine? Fried up, so the yolk is a glowing yellow jewel in a shimmering alabaster white.
Hawkeye: You'd better have your eggs with a cold shower.
Hawkeye: You'd better have your eggs with a cold shower.
BJ: You're the one who wanted to turn a guy down because he had a Z in his name.
BJ: You? An athletic scholarship!?
Hawkeye: That's right, the coach's daughter paid me to leave her alone.
Hawkeye: That's right, the coach's daughter paid me to leave her alone.
Boots Miller: Boots Miller on the move here in Korea, where the men are rugged. You can see it in their voices.
Season 7
Season 7
Captain Pratt: Well, you are, doctor, I am afraid, what George Orwell referred to in 1984 as an "un-person." [chuckles]
Hawkeye: An "un-person"? Now I'm an un-person. Do you know that right now back in Maine my father, not realizing I'm undead, is at this moment mourning his "un-son."
Captain Pratt: Well, I don't know any other way out of it.
Hawkeye: Oh, you don't, huh? He just rattles around in that empty house, gives my things away to the Salvation Army and ages a couple of years for every day he thinks I've shaken off this khaki coil!
Hawkeye: An "un-person"? Now I'm an un-person. Do you know that right now back in Maine my father, not realizing I'm undead, is at this moment mourning his "un-son."
Captain Pratt: Well, I don't know any other way out of it.
Hawkeye: Oh, you don't, huh? He just rattles around in that empty house, gives my things away to the Salvation Army and ages a couple of years for every day he thinks I've shaken off this khaki coil!
Charles: Hunnicutt, if there is a God, there will be a time in your life when you are in dire straits and in desperate need of a wealthy, influential friend. When that time comes, I pray you will turn to me so I can laugh in your face.