M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotes[Klinger has gone hang-gliding in a housecoat and slippers]
Hawkeye: Did you see that?
Nurse: What?
Hawkeye: A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet.
Trapper: Hawkeye, did you see that?
Hawkeye: What did you see?
Trapper: A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet.
Hawkeye: Did you see that?
Nurse: What?
Hawkeye: A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet.
Trapper: Hawkeye, did you see that?
Hawkeye: What did you see?
Trapper: A big red bird with fuzzy pink feet.
[Klinger is playing horseshoes with Potter.]
Potter: I don't know how you do it, Klinger.
Klinger: Well, sir, I learned how to throw horseshoes in Toledo.
Potter: What's that got to do with it?
Klinger: We didn't throw them for fun. We threw them in self-defense!
Potter: I don't know how you do it, Klinger.
Klinger: Well, sir, I learned how to throw horseshoes in Toledo.
Potter: What's that got to do with it?
Klinger: We didn't throw them for fun. We threw them in self-defense!
[Pierce gives Margaret a shot]
Margaret: Ow! What was that?
Hawkeye: Load of B1. Get you on your feet again.
Margaret: Oh... And I didn't get you anything...
Margaret: Ow! What was that?
Hawkeye: Load of B1. Get you on your feet again.
Margaret: Oh... And I didn't get you anything...
[Potter just un-gagged Charles after Hawkeye and BJ tied him up]
Charles: Colonel, I... [he gags, then starts again] I was raised in a gracious and civilized atmosphere. I was taught the Golden Rule, and with the exception of some few business dealings, I have learned to live by it. However, in this case, I want these vermin HUNG! I want them buried in anthills, their bodies smeared with honey!
Potter: Easy, Major.
Charles: I want them drawn and quartered, and I want the pieces arrested!
Charles: Colonel, I... [he gags, then starts again] I was raised in a gracious and civilized atmosphere. I was taught the Golden Rule, and with the exception of some few business dealings, I have learned to live by it. However, in this case, I want these vermin HUNG! I want them buried in anthills, their bodies smeared with honey!
Potter: Easy, Major.
Charles: I want them drawn and quartered, and I want the pieces arrested!
[To his son, on the phone.]
Henry: I don't care if she did put an ice cube in your underwear! Girls will do that. You mustn't hit her with the dog! Now until I get back, you're the man of the house. Yes, I know Mommy thinks she is, but you really are!
Henry: I don't care if she did put an ice cube in your underwear! Girls will do that. You mustn't hit her with the dog! Now until I get back, you're the man of the house. Yes, I know Mommy thinks she is, but you really are!
[A cackling Frank comes out of Colonel Potter's office, only to miss having a chair thrown at him.]
Margaret (infuriated): War horse?! Army Mule?!
Frank: Margaret!
Margaret: Stuff it!!!
Margaret (infuriated): War horse?! Army Mule?!
Frank: Margaret!
Margaret: Stuff it!!!