M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotes(to Charles as everyone leaves the mess tent after Charles enters)
Margaret: Help yourself to some breakfast before us lowlifes steal it all.
Mulcahy: Hell hath no fury like pernicious vermin scorned.
BJ: Charles, you just put a whole shoe store in your mouth.
Potter: Winchester, just a hunch: Will Rogers never met you, did he?
Margaret: Help yourself to some breakfast before us lowlifes steal it all.
Mulcahy: Hell hath no fury like pernicious vermin scorned.
BJ: Charles, you just put a whole shoe store in your mouth.
Potter: Winchester, just a hunch: Will Rogers never met you, did he?
Anderson: I'll tell you how I feel about ol' Johann Sebastian.
Radar: Now that's highly significant.
Anderson: I haven't said anything yet.
Radar: That's OK. I have confidence in you, Lieutenant.
Radar: Now that's highly significant.
Anderson: I haven't said anything yet.
Radar: That's OK. I have confidence in you, Lieutenant.
����Trapper John McIntyre: You want to raffle off a nurse?
Hawkeye Pierce: Is that what I said?
Hawkeye Pierce: Is that what I said?
����Trapper John' McIntyre: Fore!
[Radar stops in mid-football practice to look out over the hills]
[Radar stops in mid-football practice to look out over the hills]
B.J.: We didn't know if you were late, Charles, or the late Charles. We thought maybe you'd been shot, and we were trying to figure out which side did it.
Charles: Hunnicutt, go hurt yourself.
Charles: Hunnicutt, go hurt yourself.
B.J.:I can see us all sitting at a reunion ten years from now.
Hawkeye:Yeah, the war's been over for a month, we all have gray hair, Charles has his in a box.
Season 8
Hawkeye:Yeah, the war's been over for a month, we all have gray hair, Charles has his in a box.
Season 8
BJ (about Charles): I'll bet he has the largest record collection in all of Korea. Maybe all of Asia. Probably the world. You know, you'd think a guy with that many records wouldn't have a chance to play them all, but he does. It can be done if you have your phonograph on for every minute of every day. And night! But I like it!
BJ (about Hawk's chicken leg): Where'd you get that?
Hawkeye: The Petrified Forest.
BJ: ...They still open?
Hawkeye: The Petrified Forest.
BJ: ...They still open?
BJ (reading from a letter): "Dear Doctors, You live a great life, I am jealous of you."
Charles: Je- He what?! Jealous.
BJ (still reading): "You guys get to camp out every night, eat real Army food, boy you're lucky."
Charles: I... just... Give me that! (takes the letter) Get to camp out, eh? (writing) "My dear diminutive correspondent, Your misinformation is exceeded only by your ahhh-trocious grammar.
BJ: Leave it to Charles to be the world's first poison pen pal.
Charles: Je- He what?! Jealous.
BJ (still reading): "You guys get to camp out every night, eat real Army food, boy you're lucky."
Charles: I... just... Give me that! (takes the letter) Get to camp out, eh? (writing) "My dear diminutive correspondent, Your misinformation is exceeded only by your ahhh-trocious grammar.
BJ: Leave it to Charles to be the world's first poison pen pal.
BJ (regarding Sophie's condition): Too much dry grass, not enough water; she's got colic.
Radar: Ooh, that's serious!
Hawkeye: Colic?
BJ: He says it could kill her. Her intestines are blocked; we need to keep her on her feet so they don't twist. And...we gotta clean her out. Lots and lots of warm water.
Hawkeye: ...I think I'll stroll on up to the front and see how the shooting's going.
(a hose needs to be connected to the water tower)
Radar: Ooh, that's serious!
Hawkeye: Colic?
BJ: He says it could kill her. Her intestines are blocked; we need to keep her on her feet so they don't twist. And...we gotta clean her out. Lots and lots of warm water.
Hawkeye: ...I think I'll stroll on up to the front and see how the shooting's going.
(a hose needs to be connected to the water tower)
BJ (to Hawkeye): You may have treated a symptom, but the disease lives merrily on.
BJ [singing]: Git along, little doggie...
Hawkeye: I had a long little doggie once. A Dachshund.
BJ: Oh a little hot dog. What happened to it?
Hawkeye: It got all mustered out.
BJ: I relish these conversations.
Hawkeye: I had a long little doggie once. A Dachshund.
BJ: Oh a little hot dog. What happened to it?
Hawkeye: It got all mustered out.
BJ: I relish these conversations.
BJ: [talking about a fishing lure] I've fished with this a couple of times. Hawk told me it belonged to Colonel Blake. It's for all the men who never made it home.