M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesKlinger: When I leave the army, it'll be the honorable way...with a section 8!
Kwang: Excuse me, but uh, what are you doing to gun?
BJ: Preventative maintenance, Kwang
Hawkeye: We fix it now, and no one will have to worry about it again.
Kwang: Ah, Kwang understand. No, he don't.
BJ: Preventative maintenance, Kwang
Hawkeye: We fix it now, and no one will have to worry about it again.
Kwang: Ah, Kwang understand. No, he don't.
Kwang: Why do you wear the uniform of a nurse?
Klinger: It's a disguise. I'm hiding from sanity.
Kwang: That's crazy.
Klinger: See? It's working!
Klinger: It's a disguise. I'm hiding from sanity.
Kwang: That's crazy.
Klinger: See? It's working!
Lieutenant Nugent: Do you dance, Radar?
Radar: Uh, no. Football knee.
Nugent: Oh, you played football?
Radar: Not much, I had a bad knee.
Radar: Uh, no. Football knee.
Nugent: Oh, you played football?
Radar: Not much, I had a bad knee.
Lt. Dish: You still haven't told me how I get out of going away with the winner. Why do I have the funny feeling it's going to be you.
Hawkeye Pierce: You don't trust me?
Lt. Dish: Not since the last time I found you hiding in my sleeping bag.
Hawkeye Pierce: You don't trust me?
Lt. Dish: Not since the last time I found you hiding in my sleeping bag.
Major Reddish: I refuse to lie.
BJ: And you call yourself a PR man.
Major Reddish: I'm a soldier first. I won't lie without orders.
BJ: And you call yourself a PR man.
Major Reddish: I'm a soldier first. I won't lie without orders.
Major Reddish: It's been getting harder and harder to sell this war to the folks back home.
Hawkeye: Well, that's what happens when you spend everything on weapons and nothing on advertising.
Major Reddish: Right.
Hawkeye: Well, that's what happens when you spend everything on weapons and nothing on advertising.
Major Reddish: Right.
Margaret Houlihan:[angrily] You're dismissed.
Hawkeye Pierce: Thanks, Mother. We've gotta get up early, anyway, and fix MacArthur's hernia.
Hawkeye Pierce: Thanks, Mother. We've gotta get up early, anyway, and fix MacArthur's hernia.
Margaret (hoarse): Please send telegram. (writing on note pad)
Charles: Well why not. I'm often mistaken for a little Western Union boy. (reading note) "Dr. Chesler, must cancel. Very sorry. Perhaps another time." Another time? The man's leaving for the States tomorrow.
Margaret: Not fair to patients or staff. Can't work like this. Another three days -- I can't go.
Charles: I must say I admire your dedication. I'll send this off immediately if that's what you really want. Yes? (leaving post-op bellowing) Telegram for Dr. Chesler. Oh, telegram for Dr. Chesler.
Charles: Well why not. I'm often mistaken for a little Western Union boy. (reading note) "Dr. Chesler, must cancel. Very sorry. Perhaps another time." Another time? The man's leaving for the States tomorrow.
Margaret: Not fair to patients or staff. Can't work like this. Another three days -- I can't go.
Charles: I must say I admire your dedication. I'll send this off immediately if that's what you really want. Yes? (leaving post-op bellowing) Telegram for Dr. Chesler. Oh, telegram for Dr. Chesler.
Margaret (to Colonel Potter): When's the last time I came to you? I ask so little?
Hawkeye: And she gives so much.
Hawkeye: And she gives so much.
Margaret (to Klinger at beginning of wedding): You have your nerve wearing white.
Klinger: Jealous?
Klinger: Jealous?