M*A*S*H quotes
576 total quotesHawkeye: Frank, do you know what a hero is? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, he's somebody who's tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn.
Hawkeye: Has anyone explained to you the philosophy of Rosie Land?
Nurse: No, but someone wanted to use my underwear for a flag.
Hawkeye: Oh, that would be our Secretary of the Interior.
Nurse: No, but someone wanted to use my underwear for a flag.
Hawkeye: Oh, that would be our Secretary of the Interior.
Hawkeye: His gut looks like a jigsaw puzzle and I think a couple of the pieces are missing.
Hawkeye: Hold it (puts his ear to Radar's stomach) I think I just found my wristwatch. Either that or he's giving birth to an alarm clock.
Hawkeye: Hook this to the tap up there.
BJ: It looks awful high.
Hawkeye: Would you rather have this end?
BJ: (climbing) It's not so high.
Hawkeye: Upsy-daisy.
BJ: I love you Daddy.
BJ: It looks awful high.
Hawkeye: Would you rather have this end?
BJ: (climbing) It's not so high.
Hawkeye: Upsy-daisy.
BJ: I love you Daddy.
Hawkeye: I am the essence of overconfidence. I am speculation, adventure, the spirit of pursuit, the stag howling for its winsome, yet anonymous mate. I am the love call of evolution, the perfume and color of the flowers as they offer their pollen to the gentle fuzz of the bees. I am sex itself, gentlemen. I am life, I am appetite!
BJ: And I'm not taking my clothes off till he leaves.
BJ: And I'm not taking my clothes off till he leaves.
Hawkeye: I had a dream last night that I was asleep and I dreamed it while I was awake!
Hawkeye: I hate the army. Usually, I just can't stand it. But this is different: this is hate.
Hawkeye: I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back.
Hawkeye: I think I'm having an identity crisis. I know I'm Dr. Pierce, but I want to be God.
BJ: If you ever get the job, don't forget your old friends.
BJ: If you ever get the job, don't forget your old friends.