Malcolm in the Middle quotes
227 total quotesHal: Reese, an old woman's purse is a little boy's book bag... if he's European.
Hal: Reese, do you know what empathy is?
Reese: No.
Hal: Well, empathy is putting yourself in other people's shoes so you can feel what they do. If you hurt someone, empathy makes you hurt as well.
Reese: Then why would you want empathy?
Hal: [turns away to Lois, stunned] He has no more sense of right and wrong than a tree-frog!
Reese: No.
Hal: Well, empathy is putting yourself in other people's shoes so you can feel what they do. If you hurt someone, empathy makes you hurt as well.
Reese: Then why would you want empathy?
Hal: [turns away to Lois, stunned] He has no more sense of right and wrong than a tree-frog!
Hal: Remember when I took that comedy traffic school? God, that was hilarious. A rabbi, a priest, and a minister come to a four-way stop...
Hal: So, Dewey, how was school today?
Dewey: Mikey Duffy pushed me down today.
Hal: Well, did you push him back?
Dewey: No, he's bigger than me.
Hal: Uh-huh... Reese?
Reese: I'm on it.
Dewey: Mikey Duffy pushed me down today.
Hal: Well, did you push him back?
Dewey: No, he's bigger than me.
Hal: Uh-huh... Reese?
Reese: I'm on it.
Hal: That's strange. Why would someone fill this thing with hundreds of hanging bowties?
Malcolm: Those aren't bowties. Those are bats!
Malcolm: Those aren't bowties. Those are bats!
Hal: This is good meat loaf. New recipe?
Lois: Nope. Same as it's always been.
Hal: Ah, come on.
Lois: Oh, you know what, I ran out of tomato sauce and used ketchup instead.
Lois: Nope. Same as it's always been.
Hal: Ah, come on.
Lois: Oh, you know what, I ran out of tomato sauce and used ketchup instead.
Hal:[goes back to a photo booth near the door] Reese, get out of the photo booth.
[Reese peeks out jut in time to see the large man that he threw a bowling ball at, intending for Malcolm, waiting for him. He inserts a dollar bill in the booth]
Reese: You probably want your privacy. I'll get out of your way.
[The large man pushes him back into the photo booth. Reese is heard screaming as he is getting his ass kicked with photos to prove it.]
[Reese peeks out jut in time to see the large man that he threw a bowling ball at, intending for Malcolm, waiting for him. He inserts a dollar bill in the booth]
Reese: You probably want your privacy. I'll get out of your way.
[The large man pushes him back into the photo booth. Reese is heard screaming as he is getting his ass kicked with photos to prove it.]
Ice Cream Man [to Reese]: That will teach you to mess with me. I was a surgeon in my country.
Ida: (to Dewey) That's it, fatten up on pizza. Good luck running when they come with the dogs and chase you into the hills!
Ida: What are you going to do when they come after you and throw you in the back of the truck? Are you going to read to them? Are you going to impress them with your giant know-it-all brain?
Lloyd [to Malcolm]: Looks like you and Cynthia have some real chemistry.
Malcolm: Would you shut up!
Lloyd: No, see, it's a play on words.
Malcolm: I said shut up!
Malcolm: Would you shut up!
Lloyd: No, see, it's a play on words.
Malcolm: I said shut up!
Lloyd: Hey, check out the newbie.
Stevie: Fresh... meat.
Dabney: [to Malcolm] You no longer have to live in fear.
Malcolm: What are you talking about?
Dabney: The hazing we put you through is over.
Malcolm: What hazing?
Lloyd: Oh, come on! When we gave you the warped lunchtray. When we dulled the points on your pencils. When you sneezed and no one said "Bless you."
Dabney: I still feel bad about that.
Stevie: Fresh... meat.
Dabney: [to Malcolm] You no longer have to live in fear.
Malcolm: What are you talking about?
Dabney: The hazing we put you through is over.
Malcolm: What hazing?
Lloyd: Oh, come on! When we gave you the warped lunchtray. When we dulled the points on your pencils. When you sneezed and no one said "Bless you."
Dabney: I still feel bad about that.