Invader Zim quotes

263 total quotes



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[In the classroom a student is held in mid air by a harness and is stacking cards in a tower]
Ms. Bitters: Now, add the dead weight of students like you.
[The child adds a huge stack of cards to the tower. It sways dangerously]
Ms. Bitters: So you can see, children, that our whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards...
[The tower collapses into a heap]
Ms. Bitters: ...destined to collapse under its own weight!

[Shows a picture of Iggins brushing his teeth, and playing his Game Slave, then looks up and sees 'The Game Is Mine' written in steam on the mirror above the sink]
Iggins: 'The Gam-e Is Mine..' [Gasps then turns around and gasps as Gaz Appears outside the window with a flash of lightning] Ahh- Wait, how did you write that if you're out.. Huh?
[Gaz appears from different sides of the window with each lightning flashes while Iggins screams}

[The class has gathered around the new classroom pet, a hamster named Peepi, which is running around in its hamster-wheel]
Ms. Bitters: Take a good look children. It will prepare you for your adult lives in our nightmarish corporate system.

[The phone rings, Zim answers it]
Zim: Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy!
Zim: Keef? I told you, I do not require your-
Keef: I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-
[Phone beeps]
Zim: Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!
[Zim stares at the phone and rips it out of the wall]

[The Tallest are examining the Megadoomer]
Tallest Red: The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!
Tallest Purple: I don't like it.
Tallest Red: We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.
Tallest Purple: Well, I should like it.
[They move on to a room full of malfunctioning SIR units]
Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.
Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[Both laugh uproariously]
Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat food.

[Title comes on that says dramatic reinactment]
Zim: I was out playing like any normal Earth larva when he came looking for trouble.
Actor playing Dib: Heyy new kid, give me your lunch moneys!
Actor playing Zim: [with British accent] But I need these monies to buy nutrients.
Actor playing Dib: Give me the moneys or i'll tell everyone you're an alien!
Dib: That's not how it happened!
Host: Restrain him![hear Dib hollering in the backround then the reinactment continues]

[Ultra-Peepi, altered by Zim's device, breaks out and starts destroying the city]
Dib: Anything you'd like to confess?
Zim: Of course not. Don't be silly.

[Zim is being held captive by aliens who look like earth babies]
Zim: Noogums! I should have known.
Schnooky: Do not call me by that name! It is demeaning to the proud and fierce race of the Nar-Gh'ok to be dubbed "Noogums."
Zim: What should I call you then?!?
Schnooky: Schnooky! Gh'ok Space Sergent Schnooky!

[Zim is carrying Gaz to protect himself from the rain]
Gaz: If you want to keep all your limbs, Zim, you will put me down. You will put me down, NOW!

[Zim is talking with the Tallest via a large monitor]
Zim: Sirs! I apologize for not reporting in, but-- excuse me.
[Zim sprays some germs offscreen]
Zim: ...all is going well, nothing too big to report, aside to the usual- oh, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE!!
[Zim sprays again and empties it]
Zim: The disinfectant, it's almost gone! All hope is lost if I don't find more! Clever! I won't give up! I'll destroy you! And you! And you! And yoooouuu!
[Zim cuts the transmission]
Tallest Purple: Did that scare you too?
[Tallest Red nods]

[Zim turns a dial, resetting GIR back to normal as he falls to the ground face first]
GIR: [out of duty mode] Hi Floor, make me a sammich!
Zim: That's better, I guess...
GIR: Heh, heh, sammich, sammich!

[Zim watching buyer choke violently on the candy bar]
Zim: Uh-huh, that's the sawdust.

[Zim, piloting his Voot Cruiser, scares a police officer driving his car, causing him to fall from a bridge onto a weenie restaurant]
Zim: Human law enforcing machine. Markings: Lighty flashy things on top. Defensive capability: minimal.
[The police car explodes]
Zim: Explodes on impact with giant meat. Evaluation: Pathetic! Pathetic Earth vehicle!!

[GIR opens his head, launching out million of little piggies, giggling]
Zim: No, GIR! These pigs are for science! SCIENCE!