Zim: You made me do this, Peepi! I hate to be the bad guy, but you must be disciplined! Or you'll never learn!

Zim:(pounding on computer) NO! NO! THE MOOSE HAS FAILED ME!

Zim:I was lying.

Zita: Ms. Bitters?
Ms. Bitters: [is startled into waking from a brief snooze in her desk chair] Yes, Zita?
Zita: I think Dib seems crazier than normal today. Can we use one of the crazy cards to send him to the crazy house for boys?
Ms. Bitters: Each class only gets three cards a month. Are you sure you want to use one?
[Everyone looks at Dib who is twitching and falls to the floor.]
Zita: Yeah...

[A girl turns in her audience admission exam to a robot]
Exam Robot: 94%. Your score is...unacceptable!
[The girl's desk races backwards to a door which slams shut after she goes into it. Dib turns in his exam]
Exam Robot: 94.1%. Your score is...acceptable! Congratulations!
[The robot plays a tiny fanfare and shoots confetti]
Dib: Okay, that was annoying. But at least it was easy.

[A mystic escape portal is in Dib's own forehead]
Zim: There! That should be wide enough.
Dib: What about me? How do I get back?
Zim: Good question! ...But I don't care!

[A student is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Zootch: Aah! M-My organs!
Zim: [laughs] Inferior human organs!
[Zim is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Zim: Augh! My squeedly-spooch!
Dib: Squeedly-spooch? Did you hear that, Gaz? That's no human organ! Humans don't have squeedly-spooches!
Gaz: [sarcastically] I've got a squeedly-spooch.

[After Tak finishes explaining her past]
Zim: Yes, yes, so you blame me for your horrible life, blah, blah, blah, BIG DEAL!
Tak: This is about taking your mission, Zim, not revenge!
Zim: You're after revenge?!?
Tak: NOOOOOO! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what's rightfully mine. I should have been an invader! I should have been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't HAVE to be stealing THIS planet from YOU!
Zim: [pause] YOU'RE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!
Tak: NOOOOOOO!!!! Listen to me. Listen...carefully!
Zim: Hmm? Hmm? Hmmmmmm?
Tak: I'm a better invader than you could ever be. I blend in perfectly. The plan I have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the Tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader.
Zim: WHAT IS THIS-- [lowers his tone] And what is this plan?
Tak: [laughs softly]
Zim: Yeah, yeah, I'm a master of comedy. Now tell me this plan!
Tak: Part One involves crippling your base, so that you could only watch... AS I RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!
[Her SIR unit unleashes nanites that consume Zim's base]
Zim: [horrified] MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!!
Tak: Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: [irritated] Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Part--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Okay, I'm--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Okay, I'm leaving now.
Zim: [calmly] But you didn't tell me your plan.

[Dib is asleep in bed. Two aliens fly in and wake him up. They transform into shoes]
Dib: What? What's happening?! Who... what are you, and why did you transform into giant shoes?
Meekrob: We are beings of pure energy. This is merely a form your human brain can understand.
Dib: But you just looked like aliens before you turned into shoes.
Meekrob: Hmmm. Yes, but you couldn't comprehend that.
Dib: Yes, I could.

[Dib raises his hand]
Ms. Bitters: Yes, Dib?
Dib: Ms. Bitters, Zim's trip to the bathroom has taken a really long time.
Ms. Bitters: I seem to remember you taking an awful long time to go to the bathroom as well, Dib.
Dib: [pathetically] But that was "Corn and Mayonnaise" day!
Ms. Bitters: [harshly] Oh, that's no excuse!!!

[Dib throws a muffin at Zim's head]
Zim: What? WHO?!
Gaz: That... that was horrible.
Zim: [grabs muffin] WHO DID THIS?! Who dares to soil my normal boy head with this... PORK COW?!
Poonchy: That's a stinking muffin!
Zim: SILENCE! Whatever this is, I will find the beast who threw it! I WILL FIND YOU!! Sleep peacefully now, for it is the last peaceful sleep you will know from this moment on!
Classmate: But we're not asleep right now!
[Zim stares at the watching classmates before running away, screaming. Dib snickers.]
Gaz: Actually, that was kinda funny.

[Dib's future self concludes a lengthy explanation as to how he's in the past]
Future Dib: ...so, it's up to you now.
Dib: Wow. I'm boring! Do I always explain everything like this?

[Dib, obsessing over Zim, snaps a pencil in half. He sticks half up his nose]
Dib: Ms Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks down] Pretty far...
Ms. Bitters: All right. Take the auxiliary hall pass. [points to a radiator with 'Hall Pass' spray-painted on the side]

[Gaz is about to take a bite from the last slice of pizza. Dib takes it from her]
Dib:Oh yeah!! Thanks, Gaz! Don't wanna starve to death while saving the world!
Gaz: Let it be known that from this day until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine! Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace for I shall rain misery down upon your pizza-stealing heart!

[GIR orders food from the Krazy Taco drive-thru with Zim screaming in the background]
Krazy Taco Worker: So that's two large tacos, burrito, and a medium "GIR take us back to the base right now." Do you want a drink with that?
Gir: [to Krazy Taco Worker] What kinda drinks you got?
Krazy Taco Worker: We got New Poop, Classic Poop, Diet Poop, Cherry Poop, and Salty Lemonade.
Gir: Gimme a large Classic Poop!