Invader Zim quotes

263 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2  



GIR: I'm guarding the house!
Gaz: Where's Dib?
GIR: [turning to duty mode and producing weapons from his head] None may pass! You are an intruder!
Gaz: [angrily] Where's Dib?
GIR: [retracts weapons] He's down there!

GIR: PUPPY!! [licks the window]
Zim: No, GIR! You can eat later! [pulls GIR away from the window]

GIR: Tell me a story about giant pigs!

GIR: Then a giant squirrel showed up.
Zim: GIR!!
Host: [to Zim] Let her talk! Can't you see she's upset? [to GIR] Now, don't you mean, Dib showed up?
GIR: No! The squirrel showed up first. Then Dib showed up.
Actor playing Dib: [points to man in squirrel costume] AAGHHHH, what is that?
GIR: And then the squirrel ate Dib's greasy head. [man in squirrel costume proceeds to mutilate Actor Dib's head as the other actors back away terrified] And then the squirrel flew away! [man in squirrel costume gets picked up by cables] After that, he flew back to his home planet to fight all the bad guys. [costume rips and man falls on two actors in alien costumes]
Host: ...What does that have to do with anything?!?
GIR: Me 'n the squirrel are friends.

GIR: Wait...if you destroyed Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your enemy, then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him and then he will be your enemy, so then you will have to send a robot back...
[GIR's head explodes]

GIR: Why iiisss his head so big? Whyyy's his head so biiig?

GIR: YAY, I'M GONNA BE SICK! [throws up on Zim]

GIR:(cries) WHY?!? WHY MY PIGGY?!? I LOVEDED YOU PIGGY! I LOVEDED YOUUUUU!!

GIR:(slurping)
Soldier on TV:Aah!My intestine!
GIR: Tee-He He He He He-e!
(phone rings)

Government Man: [in robotic voice] I am Government Man, come from the government. The government has sent me. [zooms inside to see GIR piloting the robot] [walks over to Zim] Ohohoho. He is not an alien lifeform. He is an experimental government aircraft!

Green-eyed Alien: We will begin by fusing you to this other human.
Zim: That's no human, that's a gopher!
Blue-eyed Alien: Silence!

Greg: Thanks for calling the FBI, my name is Greg, how may I help you?
Dib: I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-
Greg: [laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?
Dib: Yes, no thanks to you!

Gretchen: This place smells. Can I have a soda?

Hall Monitor: Hey! Where's your hall pass?
Zim: Say...you're full of organs, aren't you?
Hall Monitor: Why yes. Yes I am.
Zim: And you wouldn't notice if you were, say, missing a few?
Hall Monitor: Probably not.
[Zim starts laughing evilly and Hall Monitor joins in]

Hologram: My people worked themselves into extinction making our planet a working vessel!
Zim: Why would you do that?
Hologram: Because it's cool.
GIR: *nods* Mmm-hmm.