Invader Zim quotes
263 total quotes[Dib, obsessing over Zim, snaps a pencil in half. He sticks half up his nose]
Dib: Ms Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks down] Pretty far...
Ms. Bitters: All right. Take the auxiliary hall pass. [points to a radiator with 'Hall Pass' spray-painted on the side]
Dib: Ms Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks down] Pretty far...
Ms. Bitters: All right. Take the auxiliary hall pass. [points to a radiator with 'Hall Pass' spray-painted on the side]
[Gaz is about to take a bite from the last slice of pizza. Dib takes it from her]
Dib:Oh yeah!! Thanks, Gaz! Don't wanna starve to death while saving the world!
Gaz: Let it be known that from this day until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine! Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace for I shall rain misery down upon your pizza-stealing heart!
Dib:Oh yeah!! Thanks, Gaz! Don't wanna starve to death while saving the world!
Gaz: Let it be known that from this day until the end of the day, vengeance will be mine! Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace for I shall rain misery down upon your pizza-stealing heart!
[Gaz is in an isolation chamber after the spell Dib casts on her goes wrong. Dib is visiting her]
Gaz: I'll make you wish you had rabid weasels teleported into your skull instead of having a sister! I'll wait until you sleep and stuff all your paranormal junk into your big, giant paranormal head and chew on your eyeballs after I pluck them out!
(Dib runs screaming from the room)
Gaz: I'll make you wish you had rabid weasels teleported into your skull instead of having a sister! I'll wait until you sleep and stuff all your paranormal junk into your big, giant paranormal head and chew on your eyeballs after I pluck them out!
(Dib runs screaming from the room)
[GIR is talking to the Tallest via a video communicator]
GIR: ...and then my master flew to the moon on a rocket of flamin' cheese! I like cheese!
[Dib shoves GIR out of the way]
Dib: Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Tallest Purple: Who's that large-headed kid?
Tallest Red: I don't know, but his head is large.
Dib: [clears throat] Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your planet's coordinates!
GIR: ...and then my master flew to the moon on a rocket of flamin' cheese! I like cheese!
[Dib shoves GIR out of the way]
Dib: Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Tallest Purple: Who's that large-headed kid?
Tallest Red: I don't know, but his head is large.
Dib: [clears throat] Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your planet's coordinates!
[GIR orders food from the Krazy Taco drive-thru with Zim screaming in the background]
Krazy Taco Worker: So that's two large tacos, burrito, and a medium "GIR take us back to the base right now." Do you want a drink with that?
Gir: [to Krazy Taco Worker] What kinda drinks you got?
Krazy Taco Worker: We got New Poop, Classic Poop, Diet Poop, Cherry Poop, and Salty Lemonade.
Gir: Gimme a large Classic Poop!
Krazy Taco Worker: So that's two large tacos, burrito, and a medium "GIR take us back to the base right now." Do you want a drink with that?
Gir: [to Krazy Taco Worker] What kinda drinks you got?
Krazy Taco Worker: We got New Poop, Classic Poop, Diet Poop, Cherry Poop, and Salty Lemonade.
Gir: Gimme a large Classic Poop!
[In the classroom a student is held in mid air by a harness and is stacking cards in a tower]
Ms. Bitters: Now, add the dead weight of students like you.
[The child adds a huge stack of cards to the tower. It sways dangerously]
Ms. Bitters: So you can see, children, that our whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards...
[The tower collapses into a heap]
Ms. Bitters: ...destined to collapse under its own weight!
Ms. Bitters: Now, add the dead weight of students like you.
[The child adds a huge stack of cards to the tower. It sways dangerously]
Ms. Bitters: So you can see, children, that our whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards...
[The tower collapses into a heap]
Ms. Bitters: ...destined to collapse under its own weight!
[Shows a picture of Iggins brushing his teeth, and playing his Game Slave, then looks up and sees 'The Game Is Mine' written in steam on the mirror above the sink]
Iggins: 'The Gam-e Is Mine..' [Gasps then turns around and gasps as Gaz Appears outside the window with a flash of lightning] Ahh- Wait, how did you write that if you're out.. Huh?
[Gaz appears from different sides of the window with each lightning flashes while Iggins screams}
Iggins: 'The Gam-e Is Mine..' [Gasps then turns around and gasps as Gaz Appears outside the window with a flash of lightning] Ahh- Wait, how did you write that if you're out.. Huh?
[Gaz appears from different sides of the window with each lightning flashes while Iggins screams}
[The class has gathered around the new classroom pet, a hamster named Peepi, which is running around in its hamster-wheel]
Ms. Bitters: Take a good look children. It will prepare you for your adult lives in our nightmarish corporate system.
Ms. Bitters: Take a good look children. It will prepare you for your adult lives in our nightmarish corporate system.
[The phone rings, Zim answers it]
Zim: Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy!
Zim: Keef? I told you, I do not require your-
Keef: I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-
[Phone beeps]
Zim: Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!
[Zim stares at the phone and rips it out of the wall]
Zim: Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy!
Zim: Keef? I told you, I do not require your-
Keef: I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-
[Phone beeps]
Zim: Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!
[Zim stares at the phone and rips it out of the wall]
[The Tallest are examining the Megadoomer]
Tallest Red: The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!
Tallest Purple: I don't like it.
Tallest Red: We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.
Tallest Purple: Well, I should like it.
[They move on to a room full of malfunctioning SIR units]
Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.
Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[Both laugh uproariously]
Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat food.
Tallest Red: The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!
Tallest Purple: I don't like it.
Tallest Red: We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.
Tallest Purple: Well, I should like it.
[They move on to a room full of malfunctioning SIR units]
Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.
Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[Both laugh uproariously]
Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat food.
[Title comes on that says dramatic reinactment]
Zim: I was out playing like any normal Earth larva when he came looking for trouble.
Actor playing Dib: Heyy new kid, give me your lunch moneys!
Actor playing Zim: [with British accent] But I need these monies to buy nutrients.
Actor playing Dib: Give me the moneys or i'll tell everyone you're an alien!
Dib: That's not how it happened!
Host: Restrain him![hear Dib hollering in the backround then the reinactment continues]
Zim: I was out playing like any normal Earth larva when he came looking for trouble.
Actor playing Dib: Heyy new kid, give me your lunch moneys!
Actor playing Zim: [with British accent] But I need these monies to buy nutrients.
Actor playing Dib: Give me the moneys or i'll tell everyone you're an alien!
Dib: That's not how it happened!
Host: Restrain him![hear Dib hollering in the backround then the reinactment continues]
[Ultra-Peepi, altered by Zim's device, breaks out and starts destroying the city]
Dib: Anything you'd like to confess?
Zim: Of course not. Don't be silly.
Dib: Anything you'd like to confess?
Zim: Of course not. Don't be silly.
[While Dib watches the scene using a spy camera installed into Zim's house]
GIR: Guess who made waffles!
Zim: I'm not going to eat-
GIR: [screams]
Zim: Enough! I shall try some already! [takes a bite] Well, they don't seem to be making me sick. You know, I think this will be a good way to build a tolerance to the human's filthy food! Okay, GIR. I will try-
GIR: Hehehehehehe! [runs to get more waffles]
Zim: And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!
GIR: Guess who made waffles!
Zim: I'm not going to eat-
GIR: [screams]
Zim: Enough! I shall try some already! [takes a bite] Well, they don't seem to be making me sick. You know, I think this will be a good way to build a tolerance to the human's filthy food! Okay, GIR. I will try-
GIR: Hehehehehehe! [runs to get more waffles]
Zim: And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!
[Zim collapse from exhaustion and lands face down in a bucket of water]
Sizz-Lorr: Break's over, Zim! Go man the register!
Zim: Whuh?
Sizz-Lorr: The register! Gashloog is taking his break! Now move it!!
[Gashloog takes off his apron and skips gleefully out the door]
Zim: Gashloog gets to take a break without exploding! Why not me?
Sizz-Lorr: Because I hired him! You're here as punishment for almost annihilating our civilization!
Zim: Am I the only one who is impressed by that?
Sizz-Lorr: Break's over, Zim! Go man the register!
Zim: Whuh?
Sizz-Lorr: The register! Gashloog is taking his break! Now move it!!
[Gashloog takes off his apron and skips gleefully out the door]
Zim: Gashloog gets to take a break without exploding! Why not me?
Sizz-Lorr: Because I hired him! You're here as punishment for almost annihilating our civilization!
Zim: Am I the only one who is impressed by that?
[Zim is being held captive by aliens who look like earth babies]
Zim: Noogums! I should have known.
Schnooky: Do not call me by that name! It is demeaning to the proud and fierce race of the Nar-Gh'ok to be dubbed "Noogums."
Zim: What should I call you then?!?
Schnooky: Schnooky! Gh'ok Space Sergent Schnooky!
Zim: Noogums! I should have known.
Schnooky: Do not call me by that name! It is demeaning to the proud and fierce race of the Nar-Gh'ok to be dubbed "Noogums."
Zim: What should I call you then?!?
Schnooky: Schnooky! Gh'ok Space Sergent Schnooky!