[The gang is at MacLaren's Bar with Jerry trying to figure out which club to go to]
Barney: Let's see, what club should we hit first? There's Club Was, there's Wrong...
Marshall: Um, those places shut down a long time ago.
Barney: Oh no.
Marshall: Oh No shut down too.
Ted: There's Where.
Jerry: Where's Where?
Lily: Where's where Was was, isn't it?
Barney: No, Was wasn't where Where was. Was was where Wrong was, right?
Jerry: Okay...
Ted: Not Okay. That place is lame.
Robin: Okay is Lame? I thought Lame was a gay bar. Or is that Wrong?
Marshall: That's wrong. That's Not Wrong.
Barney: Guys, focus.
Robin: Oh, I like Focus, let's go there.
Ted: Where?
Robin: Not Where, Focus.
Lily: I thought Focus was closed.
Barney: No, Was was Closed. Once Was shut down, it reopened as Closed.
Marshall: So Closed is open.
Robin: No, Closed is closed.
Jerry: I don't know. Third base, right?!
Robin: Ew, Third Base is all frat guys.
Lily: I'll go any place, okay?
Ted: Not Okay. Okay is lame.
Robin: Okay is not Lame. Lame is a gay bar.
Lily: Guys, shut up.
Barney: No, Shut Up shut down. I can't believe I don't know the clubs anymore.
Marshall: Guys, just pick a club, okay?
Ted: Not Okay!
All: Okay is Lame! Gay bar!
Marshall: For the record, um, I was in there once by accident. I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Lamé.
Barney: It's Hopeless, isn't it?
[cut to the group at a club called Hopeless]

[The gang just saw James finally meet his real dad and Barney acts like he found his father as well]
Lily: Don't worry, we'll just help Barney snap him out of this one.
Marshall: Or we could just let him have this one.
Lily: Are you kidding?
Marshall: Guys, Barney's losing his childhood home, he finally admitted Bob Barker's not his dad, and he watched James meet his real father, it's just a lot to go through in one afternoon. Can't we just let the guy be black for a day?

[The gang reads the SNASA con]
Woman: Wow, you're an astronaut?
Barney: [hushes woman] I'm actually in a top-secret government space program, called Secret NASA, or...SNASA.
Woman: Wow, SNASA.
Barney: Ah hmm..
Woman: Do you go to the Moon and stuff?
Barney: Well, not the moon you're familiar with, though I've been to the... Smoon.
Woman: Wow... The Smoon!
[Cuts back to the gang]
Robin: If you fall for that one, my heart breaks for you. I'm sorry, but you're a smoron.

[The gang sees Barney at his deathbed in 2021]
Robin: You're too young, it's unfair!
Marshall: We're not going anywhere buddy, we're staying with you right up till the end.
Barney: Thank you Marshall. [coughs] Marshall, can I ask for one final favour, my friend?
Marshall: Yes, yes, of course, anything.
Barney: Eat this meatball sub. [offers wrapped sub]
Marshall: Where did you get this-
Barney: [winces in pain] I don't have much time!!!
Marshall: [unwrapping sub] Yes yes, of course, of course. [prepares to bite] Does this have some sort of meaning? [meatball sub explodes in his face]
Barney: [gets out of bed and laughs menacingly] I'm not sick, you idiots. I've racked up $30,000 of uninsured medical bills for symptoms I don't even have. Totally worth it! You should see the look on your face. Oh, wait, you can't-- 'cause it's covered in marinara sauce!
Ted: Uh, Barney, you got a little marinara on your pajamas. [Barney looks at his pajamas and stops laughing; his face decomposes itself]

[The gang teases Robin over Don]
Robin: [angry] No, I hate Don. I-I-I can't stop thinking about how much I hate him. It's like all the time. I just want to attack him and rip his stupid clothes off, and start spanking him with his little paddle until his bum's all red. Shut up! [walks to bar]

[The gang watches 'Let's Go to the Mall']
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!!
Marshall: That's YOU?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
Lily: So, just to be clear...you want us to go to the mall...today?

[The Landmark Preservation Commission has come to a decision regarding the Arcadian]
Commission Chairman: Last night, this committee came to a vote, and while we've all felt from the very beginning that the Arcadian was, well, an eyesore, Mr Mosby's surprising testimony about the lion's head stonework left us with no choice but to declare it a landmark. [Zoey's camp applauds] But then, something else happened last night. That same lion's head stonework...disappeared, [audience is agape in shock] so it makes our job easier. Motion denied. [bangs gavel]

[Wendy the Waitress calls a take out order]
Wendy The Waitress: Take out order for Cook Pu. We have a Number Two over here for Cook Pu.
Ted: [stunned, to gang] You guys got Wendy saying it now? Come on, like, I get it, Cook Pu is a stupid name and it gets stupider and stupider the more you say it. Cook Pu Cook Pu Cook Pu!
Cook Pu: [embarassed] Here. [Ted looks at her as Wendy gives her her order]

[with the failure of Puzzles, Ted, Barney, Kevin, and Doug watch the New Year's Eve countdown]
Barney: Oh my God...
Robin: [speaking on broadcast] This is Robin Scherbatsky filling in for Sandy Rivers. You know, America, tonight I've been groped, slapped and puked, and until ten minutes ago, I had no idea I'd be on national television...
Kevin: [smiles] That's my girl.
Robin: ...but that's the magic of New Year's. When that clock strikes midnight, we all get a fresh start. and I don't know about you, but I could really use one. and that magic moment starts in ten. [starts countdown]