Jenny: The question is, how are you?
Dan: Me? Why wouldn't I be okay?
Jenny: At the end of the night with Serena and the... [She imitates his wave]
Dan: Was it really that bad?
[It cuts to a flashback to the previous night in the taxi]
Serena: So, this is me. So, uh... good night.
Dan: Yeah, uh... good night.
[Serena exits the taxi]
Jenny: Ugh! Go! Walk her to the door! Something! Go!
[He's about to exit when he hits his head on the door]
Dan: Uh, I think I have brain damage.

Jenny: Wow, these dolls are great. Oh my God, you have Cabbage Patch! My brother used to have one of these, his name was Cedric.
Blair: [Snorts] Your brother's name is Cedric?

Lily [to Serena]: Oh, don't put your dirty package on the table.
Chuck: If I had a dime for every time I've heard that...
[Erik chuckles at Chuck's comment]

Lily: So where are you taking my daughter this evening?
Dan: [Sarcastically] Well, I thought we'd do a tour of New York underground. You know, go visit my friends, the mole people?

Lily: There's nothing wrong with having Chinese food on Thanksgiving.
Serena: What?!
Lily: Jews have been doing it on Christmas since forever. Look, a pumpkin! It's festive, yes?
Serena: We're gonna eat a pumpkin?

Lily: Where do you think you're going?
Serena: I can't talk right now Mom, I'll explain later.
Lily: If you invite an old friend to our quiet family dinner, I expect you to stay and eat.
[Georgina walks in the room]
Lily: You know how I'd always love it when Georgina came around.
Georgina: I ran into Lily in the lobby. You totally forgot to tell Lily I was coming for dinner.
[Serena and Georgina have an awkward friendly hello kiss]
Georgina: Did you get my present?
[Georgina grins while Serena fakes a smile and realises that Georgina is up to something]

Marcus: No one's ever good enough. I've dated a lot of top-flight girls and she always sends them running. She gets inside their heads, figures out their worst fears and then ...
Chuck: ... ruthlessly exploits that fear. Sounds rough.

Nate: [About his mom] She wants me to give Blair her ring.
Chuck: What? You guys broke up.
Nate: Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?
Chuck: Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play.

Nate: Hey, so, I may have told Blair you told me the truth about her and Chuck. And I'm sure she didn't applaud to that. Look, you don't know what you're dealing with here.
Jenny: I'm not scared of Blair, Nate.
Nate: No, I'm not talking about... I'm talking about your new circle. I mean, they've been friends with Blair since forever and look what they're doing to her! You fall out of line, what do you think is going to happen to you?
Jenny: Well, then, I won't fall out of line.
Nate: I'm not saying you're going to... Look, just, you're not like those girls, Jenny.
Jenny: That's weird, Nate. You'd think they're my friends, so we'd have some stuff in common.
Nate: Okay. Well, I will give you this - you've got good aim.

Nate: I just don't get it. I organized everything the way she likes it. I mean, I even made sure my bow tie matched her dress.
Chuck: Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."

Nate: Next time your sister's band is in town, I want front row seats.
Vanessa: [laughs] You don't strike me as a lesbian punk fan.
Nate: You know, I'm almost offended by how much you underestimate me, Miss Abrams.
Vanessa: You like punk?
Nate: Oh, I didn't hear you... You said punk? Because you had me at lesbian.
Vanessa: [laughs] Right. Didn't see that coming.

Nate: No offense, but don't you think you're a little outmatched?
Chuck: At squash? I've been playing my father since 8th grade, how good can Marcus be?
Nate: No, I mean as a guy. Blair wants to be a princess and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club.
Chuck: Which is why I have to get to know him. No one is that perfect. Once I get him outta the way, I'll have a clear shot with Blair.
Nate: You know it's love when you start talking like an assassin.
Chuck: I think you're jealous of my new best friend!
Nate: Well I have been hoping someone else would tag in for awhile.

Nate: So...
Vanessa: So...
Nate: I guess this is goodnight, then?
Vanessa: I don't live here, you know.
Nate: No, I know.
Vanessa: I'm just grabbing my laptop.
Nate: Oh. [Nate looks as if he really wants to kiss Vanessa]
Vanessa: Do you want to come inside?
Nate: Umm... [looks inside shop]
[awkwardness between Vanessa and Nate]
Vanessa: God, this does feel like that doorstep moment.
Nate: And what moment would that be?
[Nate looks at Vanessa and kisses her]

Nate: That kid popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister.
Chuck: If I knew his name, I would hunt him down and kill him.
Nate: Because you kill people now? You gonna strangle him with your scarf?
Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.
Nate: I'm just saying, death by scarf? Not that intimidating.

Nate: Think your parents would adopt an seventeen-year-old?
[Vanessa laughs]
Nate: Maybe?