Gossip Girl: Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.
Gossip Girl: Who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Chuck: So smoke up, and seal the deal with Blair because you're also entitled to tap that ass.

Gossip Girl: There's nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good catfight and this could be a classic.

Chuck: [Suggestively] If you want to thank me...
Serena: It's a sandwich, Chuck.

Chuck: Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be... violated.
Nate: You are deeply disturbed.
Chuck: And yet, you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance --
Nate: I have a girlfriend.
Chuck: You guys have been dating since kindergarden and you haven't sealed the deal.
Nate: Who says "seal the deal"?

Chuck: Are you following us or something?
Dan: No. I, uh, I go to your school. [He gestures to their outfits]Identical uniforms. Kind of a tip-off.
Nate: [Sarcastically] That's funny.
[They exit the bus]
Dan: [Sarcastically, to himself] So, you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

Rufus: Guess whose dad is cool?!
Jenny: It's a trick question.
Dan: Yeah, 'cause it can't be ours.
Rufus: Ha ha, ha ha. Look at this: [He hands Dan a magazine]
Dan: Top Ten Forgotten Bands of the '90's.
Rufus: Yeah, check out who is number nine.
Jenny: He's very proud.
Dan: Hey. Hey, way to be forgotten!
Rufus: But that's how you get remembered!

Serena: So, how's your mom doing? With the divorce and everything.
Blair: Great. So, my dad left her for another man. She lost fifteen pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her.
Serena: I'm really sorry.
Blair: Yeah, I could tell, since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening.
Serena: I, I know, it's just... boarding school --
Blair: I don't even know why you went to boarding school to begin with. Do you know how it felt calling your house when you didn't show up at school and having your mom say "Serena didn't tell you? That she moved to Connecticut?"
Serena: I just... I had to go, I... needed to get away from everything. Please, just trust me.
Blair: How can I trust you when I feel like I don't even know you?
Serena: Well, let's fix that. I saw you at school with Kati and Is and I get it. I don't wanna take any of that away from you.
Blair: Because it's just yours to take if you want it.
Serena: No, that's not what I mean. I miss you. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. You know, walking to school together, dancing on tables at Bungalow, night swimming at your mom's country house? You're like my sister. Y'know, with our families... we need each other.
Blair: Well, you missed some classic Eleanor Waldorf meltdowns. If it wasn't such a tragedy it would've been funny. Actually, it kinda was.
[They laugh]
Serena: Well, I wish I could have been there.
Blair: You are now. Well, I have to go meet Nate. We kind of have something special planned.
Serena: Well, I don't want to keep you, but, um... [She hugs Blair] I love you, B.
Blair: I love you too, S.

Chuck: I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.
Serena: And if you get a drink, they're also serving pigs.
Chuck: Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.
Serena: You just love when a girl talks to you.
Chuck: Actually, I prefer them when they're not talking.
Serena: [Sarcastically] Mm. I've missed your witty banter.
Chuck: Let's catch up! Take our clothes off, stare at each other.
Serena: How about I just get a bite to eat. I'm drinking on an empty stomach.
Chuck: I heard you didn't do that anymore.
Serena: Special occasion.
Chuck: Well, how about a grilled cheese with truffle oil? You love truffles.
Serena: Enough to know it's not on the menu.
Chuck: I'm connected.
Serena: Only 'cause I'm hungry.

Serena: Pick me up at 8?
Dan: You'd really go out with some guy you don't know?
Serena: Well, you can't be any worse than the guys I do know.

Serena: So, you took me to meet your dad on the first date?
Dan: So, this... this is a date? Oh. Maybe I should've worn my loafers, then. Dress down a little bit.

Gossip Girl: S's new boy's name is -- oh, who cares?

Jenny: The question is, how are you?
Dan: Me? Why wouldn't I be okay?
Jenny: At the end of the night with Serena and the... [She imitates his wave]
Dan: Was it really that bad?
[It cuts to a flashback to the previous night in the taxi]
Serena: So, this is me. So, uh... good night.
Dan: Yeah, uh... good night.
[Serena exits the taxi]
Jenny: Ugh! Go! Walk her to the door! Something! Go!
[He's about to exit when he hits his head on the door]
Dan: Uh, I think I have brain damage.

Nate: That kid popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister.
Chuck: If I knew his name, I would hunt him down and kill him.
Nate: Because you kill people now? You gonna strangle him with your scarf?
Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.
Nate: I'm just saying, death by scarf? Not that intimidating.

Blair: You know, I always knew you were a whore... I never took you for a liar, too.
Serena: Blair... how can I fix this?
Blair: You don't, Serena. You just stay away. From me, my boyfriend, and my friends. You're done here.