Blair: Squash? I'll squash you.
Chuck: It's just a game, Blair.
Blair: Not to me, Basshole. I like him!
Chuck: So do I. And apparently he doesn't have too many friends.

Blair: There, there Georgie. It's going to be okay.
Georgina's Mom: No. This time it won't.
Blair: Or it won't. Your parents were so worried G. They told me everything. How you were supposed to be on the Equestrian Circuit but sold your show pony for cocaine.
Georgina: That was a difficult time... but I put that behind me.
Blair: When? When you were in rehab? It's hard to get cleaned when you hitch-hike in a town, steal a credit card, and book a ticket to Ibiza.
Georgina: You didn't see where they sent me. I mean, that place was awful. It was..it was in Utah. At least I lasted longer than Lohan.

Blair: What about all those rumors about you and Nate?
Serena: Mmm mmm. Not true. They just got people off my back so I could stop being sad, and Nate could go do whatever he wants, so it worked out for both of us.
Blair: You mean you haven't had ANY fun with anyone all summer?
Serena: There's this hot lifeguard that asked me out, but I, you know, I turned him down
Blair: A hot lifeguard is like kleenex! Use once and throw away. You couldn't ask for a better rebound!

Blair: What are you doing here, Nate?
Nate: Well, I, um... Look, you know, after rehearsal I just, uh, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean, the ball's something we've talked about doing together since we were, like ten years old. And I've given you every reason to hate me.
Blair: True. Keep going.
Nate: And the Prince, he's a great dancer and all. But, is there any chance you'd go with me instead? For old times' sake.
Blair: Nate, after what you pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
Nate: Yeah, I know. [Pause] Look, I haven't worn this sweater since forever. I just pulled it off, and I found this. [Shows Blair the heart pin]
Blair: It's my pin. I sewed it there so you would always have my heart on your sleeve.
Nate: I know. I figured you might want it back or something.
Blair: No! It was a gift. [Considers Nate's offer] The Prince will understand. Maybe we should go to the ball together... as friends.
Nate: Absolutely.
Blair: But only as friends.
Nate: Just friends.

Blair: What are you doing here? [Referring to Dan] Do I smell pork... and cheese? [To Serena] Okay, well, when you're done with your charity work, why don't you come find me?

Blair: What does she think she's doing?
Serena: She's giving you the perfect opportunity for niceness. C'mon, be nice!
Jenny: Serena, I know you're doing something with Dan tonight. But Blair, um, we're all going to Butter and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?
Serena: She'd be delighted. YES! [Serena claps for excitement] BUTTER!
Jenny: Great.
Serena: Great! [Serena smiling happily]
Blair: Very nice.
Serena: Thank you.

Blair: What happened? What's wrong? Talk to me.
Serena: [Serena starts crying] I can't.
Blair: Of course you can.
Serena: [sobbing] No, no, B, this is the one thing I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone.
Blair: I'm not anyone. I'm me, you can tell me anything.
Serena: [sobbing] No I can't, because then you'll be a part of this and I can't let you be a part of this.
Blair: What are you talking about? You're starting to scare me.
[Serena sobbing]
Blair: Hey, hey, hey, we're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go. I love you.
[Serena still crying tries not to answer the question]
Blair: What is it?
Serena: I killed someone.
[Serena stops crying and stares at Blair. Blair is staring back at Serena shocked as ever]

Blair: What was that?
Chuck: I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.
Blair: You almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point: you can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman. He would never cause a scene.
Chuck: Never get your blood going, either.
Blair: Speaking of going, that's what you should do. Carter Baizen is on his way here, right now.
Chuck: What? What the hell are you doing with Carter Baizen?
Blair: He left his jacket here yesterday and I'd rather you be gone when he got here. There have been enough scenes for today.

Blair: What's happening?
Dorota: You have bad dream and you're sleeping with your chocolate.
Blair: Lady Godiva, my only friend.

Blair: Who does this Dan Humphrey think he is? Serena is putting up a strong front, but I can see how hurt she is. We have to help her heal her heart.
Kati: Blair, it is pretty late notice.
Isabel: Most of the good ones are already taken.
Blair: No more excuses! Serena must have the hottest date ever. If he's got plans, he'll change it. If he's got a girlfriend, he'll dump her. If he's out of town, he'll charter a G5 and fly home. Make it happen.

Blair: You know, I always knew you were a whore... I never took you for a liar, too.
Serena: Blair... how can I fix this?
Blair: You don't, Serena. You just stay away. From me, my boyfriend, and my friends. You're done here.

Blair: You know, I called you about an hour ago, BTW. You're late.
Serena: Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all. It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under fifty dollars these days?
Blair: I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Serena: Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.
Blair: I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold money clip for forty-nine, ninety-nine. He won't know the difference.

Blair: You're all I have left.
Chuck: Actually, you don't even have me.
Blair: Enough.
Chuck: I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. But now you're like...one of the Arabians my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore and I can't see why anyone else would.

Blair: Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus' mommy is even sicker than you are.
Chuck: You got along great?
Blair: I think she recognized herself in me. Or rather, I recognized someone in her.
Chuck: I don't follow.
Blair: All you need to know is, you lost. But don't be too hard on yourself. It was a solid effort.
Chuck: Tomorrow's another day.
Blair: Good night, Chuck.
Chuck: Good night, Blair.

Blair: [sees Nate and Catherine on the floor] Oh my effing God!