Quinn: You might want to check the dates on those, Rachel, 'cause Cats closed about eleven years ago.
Rachel: He did seem crazy. He charged my credit card through his butt crack.

Quinn: You're a really good teacher, Mr. Schue. Even if everyone is calling you a man-whore.

Quinn: You're such a hypocrite. You drink. Most adults do.

Rachel Berry: [to Jesse] I don't understand why you're doing this.
Jesse St. James: Because when you love something, you gotta go for it. You would never be with me completely if I were on the opposing team. And I care about you more than winning another national title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline. For you.

Rachel: Madame Tibideaux, hello. I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's me, Rachel Berry.
Carmen Tibideaux: (groans)
Rachel: I'm sorry, I realize that I've been a little persistant, but I'm just...
Carmen Tibideaux: I am a very busy woman. Every moment I spend deleting yet another one of your voicemails about lost hopes and dreams takes time away from another student. What makes you think that you are entitled to any more attention than other hundereds of people I see with the same hopes and dreams?
Rachel: No. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to take time away from them.
Carmen Tibideaux: But you do. And I'm tired of it.
Tina: Ms. Tibideaux, I know exactly how you feel. Rachel Berry is a pain in the ass. What she wants, she gets. And I've spent a lot of time resenting her for it. But the fact is, she gets it because she's exceptional. Not just the voice, which is sick, but the focus, the drive. How often do you come across the real deal?
Carmen Tibideaux: The "real deal" that couldn't remember the words to the song?
Tina: Which was as rare as a Bigfoot sighting. She had an off day, and that decides her whole future?
Rachel: Ms. Tibideaux, I realize that I'm asking you to take me into special consideration, but let me ask you. You've had an amazing career, did you get their by playing it safe? Please, we're performing our Nationals in Chicago, and we saw that you're going to be singing there at the Lyric Opera. And before you close the door, I just, I need you to hear me sing. I have to. There's nothing that I'm as good at or as passionate about or that brings me that much joy. And I think that that sets me apart.
Carmen Tibideaux: And I think it's time for you and your friend to go.
Rachel: Okay, but I just want you to know that... I'll see you again next year. And every year after that until I get in. Didn't I read somewhere that you that you auditioned for Julliard four times? Thank you.

Rachel: Tina, look, I understand that you feel like your voice is being stifled right now, in the glee club. I mean, I have no idea why you would choose this moment specifically to make a stink about it but I want you to know you are being heard. Which is why I am willing to offer you $50 just to let this all blow over until after Nationals.
(Tina walks away, Rachel follows)
Rachel: Do you have any idea how important Nationals is to me? I mean if I can convince Carmen Tibideaux to come and watch us perform, then it's basically like a do-over for my NYADA audition, which means that my entire future depends on us being amazing, which means that everyone has to do their part.
Tina: Their part to make you look good. I've sat, for three years, in the back of that choir room, holding Mikes hand or crying or smiling and swaying, while everyone else was out there singing solos. Maybe I say something, most of the time I don't, team player all the way. I am tired of being silent. I am one of the original glee club members and I was singing Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat when Finn and Puck were still throwing slushies at us. So when is it my turn?
Rachel: Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be me? Do you have a Facebook account or Twitter account?
Tina: Yes.
Rachel: Do you have time to watch Bravo or read a book or buy laces for your incredibly high comical boots? Okay? I don't. It's exhausting being me. I get up at 5:00 in the morning just to get all of this prepared, in case a solo is thrown my way. I have the entire Sondheim, Hamlisch, Lloyd-Webber, Elton John songbooks memorized, including every single Katy Perry hit, as well. And I do all of this while keeping my boyfriend interested and physically satisfied and being the captian of 16 clubs and keeping a 3.86 GPA.
Tina: I could do all of that.
Rachel: And you will. Next year. You'll have your chance next year.
Tina: All I want, for one moment, to feel like you. Be up on that stage and get one of the standing ovations you're so used to getting.

Rachel: (about giving her up as a baby) Did you ever regret it?
Ms. Corcoran: Yes. Then no. Then so much.
Rachel: W-When did you realize it was the right time for me to find you?
Ms. Corcoran: I saw you sing at sectionals. You were extraordinary. You were me.

Rachel: [about vomiting to lose weight] I tried but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.
Emma: One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift.

Rachel: [As Jesse stands in front of her with an egg in his hand] Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.
Jesse: I loved you [breaks the egg in Rachel's hair].

Rachel: [at Carmel High auditorium to talk to Jesse, with a bright spotlight on her face) Who is there? I carry a rape whistle.
Jesse: [chuckling] Just me. [Rachel sighs] Most spots are 2500 watts, this one is ten times brighter. We have to wear sunscreen onstage, but it's worth it.
Rachel: Guess everything is bigger and brighter here. [Jesse chuckles and turns the spot off] I have to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth, otherwise there will be consequences - life and death consequences. Because if I give myself to you, and it turns out that you're just playing me, I might die. Okay, not literally, but emotionally. It'll be the kind of heartbreak that girls like me hold for the rest of their lives. Like Barbra in 'The Way They Were'.
Jesse: [laughing and holds Rachel] Oh my God.
Rachel: What?
Jesse: You're more of a drama queen than I am. [after a moment he holds out a hand to Rachel] Hi, I'm Jesse.
Rachel: I know who you are.
Jesse: You know Jesse St. James, the star of Vocal Adrenaline, your competition at Regionals. I wanna introduce you to Jesse - the guy who is nuts about you. The guy who would never hurt you.
Rachel: [sighing and holds Jesse] No one can know.
Jesse: I understand.

Rachel: [burps] It tastes like pink. It tastes like pink! PINK!
Kurt: [dancing and talking to Finn] Are you not drinking?
Finn: No. Designated driver. What about you?
Kurt: I'm still trying to impress Blaine. Can't get too sloppy. [looks at Blaine]
Blaine: [dancing crazily]
Kurt: Clearly he doesn't have the same concern.
Blaine: Hey, it is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers...Like brothers. Wow. You're so tall.
Kurt: Are you having fun, Blaine?
Blaine: Yeah. This is the best party ever!
Rachel: Finny, dance with me. [dances with Finn] We had it going on, right? I wasn't making it up or anything? I'd do anything for you. Anything.
Finn: [lets go of Rachel] Okay Rachel, since this is your first time at this, I'm going to break it down for you. [sits down with Rachel]
Rachel: Okay.
Finn: Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk. Exhibit A: Santana, the weepy, hysterical drunk.
Santana: [crying] You like her more than me! She's blond and awesome and so smart. Admit it! Just admit it!
Sam: [confused]
Santana: No kiss me! [kisses Sam]
Finn: Lauren Zizes and Quinn, the anger girl drunks.
Quinn: I can't believe what you did to my body! I used to have abs!
Puck: Back off!
Lauren: Who told you that hairstyle was cool? Geronimo?
Puck: Chill out!
Finn: Brittany, the girl who also turns into a stripper drunk.
Brittany: [dancing]
Artie: [throwing money into the air] Makin' it rain! [laughing] That's my girlfriend. I love you babe.
Finn: Mercedes and Tina, happy girl drunks.
Mercedes and Tina: [laughing hysterically]
Finn: And then we come around full circle right back to you, Rachel. And right now you're being the needy girl drunk. Hanging all over me, being overly lovey. It's not cool.
Rachel: [frowns and pats Finn's back] What-What kind of girl is this? [stands up] Let's play spin the bottle!
[Everyone cheers.]

Rachel: [checking her cheek] Most girls would be upset about getting slapped in the face, but��I happen to appreciate the drama of it. [gets a paper towel]
Quinn: [leans against the sink] I know you think it's hard to be you, Rachel, but at least you don't have to be terrified all of the time.
Rachel: What are you so scared of? [offers a paper towel to Quinn]
Quinn: [takes the paper towel] The future. When all this is gone.
Rachel: Look, you have nothing to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. You're the prettiest girl I've met Quinn but...you're a lot more than that.

Rachel: [finishes singing] It's called "Only Child".
Finn: Yeah, I got that. Uh...it's better than "My Headband". That's for sure. But it...feels like you're playing scared. You're only dealing with easy pain. You gotta get to the hard stuff. That's what's relatable to everybody.
Rachel: I'm perfectly capable to accessing my pain. I cry every time I sing a solo.
Finn: Exactly. When you sing, I can feel it. I guess you got to go inside yourself to wherever the singing comes from, and write from there.
Rachel: [sits next to Finn] Have you even ever tried to write a song?
Quinn: [voiceover while watching Rachel and Finn] Sometimes I worry about Finn. I mean, how damaged does a guy have to be, to be into some as annoying as Rachel? Still, he is a good guy and I do really like him. And he's my first love and first loves are forever. And another thing, without him I'm never going to get one of these. I know what you're thinking. "Prom queen? You're smart and super pretty and relatively sane for a girl. Does being prom queen really matter to you?" Well, it does. Prom queens live, on average, five years longer than regular people. It's probably because they smile all the time. And smiling has been proven to ward off diseases. But I can't do it without Finn. He's a shoo-in for prom king, and after winning the big game, he'll help me land crucial swing votes. Amazingly, the only person standing in my way is her and her damn talent. If I'm going to guarantee he doesn't stray with her, I'm going to have to play it right. They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Well, Rachel Berry, you just got yourself a new best friend.

Rachel: [goes after Quinn] Quinn, you need to calm down.
Quinn: This is your fault! Nobody would vote for me because they knew he would rather be with you.
Rachel: That's not true.
Quinn: [slaps Rachel across the cheek]
Rachel: [gasps and touches her cheek]
Quinn: [whispers] I'm so sorry.
With Santana and Brittany:

Rachel: [On her mother] What if she's singing on the tape? What if she's terrible? Or worse ... what if she's better than me?