Coach Tanaka: Can you do that with a game on the line, and ten gorillas bearing down on you wanting nothing more than to taste your sweet virgin blood?
Kurt: Sounds like fun. Can I have my music?
Coach Tanaka: If you can kick like that, you can wear a tutu for all I care.

Finn: It's nutty in there. I tried to talk sense into Rachel, but she's gone all chick batty.

Kurt: Hello. I'm Kurt Hummel and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker.

Kurt: My body is like a rum chocolate soufflé. If I don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise.

Kurt: OK, stop it right there, Mercedes. We are in Glee Club. That means we are the bottom of the social heap. Special Ed kids will get more play than we will.

Mercedes: Have you ever kissed anybody?
Kurt: Yes. If by somebody you mean the tender crook of my elbow.

Puck: [about the Cheerios] Those skirts are crunchy toast! Santana Lopez bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries.

Rachel: [about vomiting to lose weight] I tried but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.
Emma: One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift.

Rachel: Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?
Artie: I think Mr. Schuester is using irony to enhance the performance.
Rachel: There is nothing ironic about show choir!

Rachel: Now-a-days being anonymous is worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture now. And if there is one thing I've learned it is that no one is just going to hand it to you.

Rachel: So, why did you ask me to help you?
Finn: 'Cause it's the only way I'm gonna be good...like you.
Rachel: You think I'm good?
Finn: Yeah. I mean when we first met I thought you were intimidating, and that you talk way more than you should. I even looked under my bed to see if you were hiding there. [Sees Rachel is upset by this] But then I heard you sing. I don't know how to explain it, but it touched me... here. [puts his hand on his heart but, mistakenly puts it on his right side of his chest]
Rachel: Your heart is on this side of your chest [places her hand on Finn's and moves it to the left side of his chest. They look at each other]
Finn: It's beating really fast.
Rachel: Do you want a drink I`ll buy you one?
Finn: Yeah.
[Rachel takes two plastic cups, and pours the drinks]
Rachel: Virgin Cosmos
Finn: I like the cups. Like airplane cups all airplane like.
[They stop drinking. Finn notices some of the Cosmo on Rachel's lip.]
Finn You've got a little Virgin Cosmo...[Finn wipes the drink away from Rachel's lip then kisses her]
Rachel: You know, you can kiss me again, if you want to.
Finn I want to.
[They kiss]

Rachel: We need to have a gayvention, that's a GAY intervention.
Tina: It's K-K-Kurt. He's lady fabulous.
Mercedes: Look, just because he wears nice clothes doesn't mean he's on the down low.
Rachel: He wore a corset to second period today.

Rachel: You might laugh because every time I sign my name, I put a gold star after it. But it's a metaphor. And metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor. For me. Being a star.

Sue: [to Will] So here's the deal. You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy elderly mother: Euthanize it. It's their time.

Sue: High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor.
Will: And... where do the Glee kids lie?
Sue: Subbasement.