Glee quotes

931 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1  



Puck: I. Am. In. Hell.

Puck: It's called "Big Ass...Heart".

Puck: Life's just a bunch of experiences, you know? You don't get a medal at the finish line for being good. You just get dead.

Puck: Listen, if you need any help I'm here for you, always.

Puck: Methol 100s? Really, skank?
Quinn: You can't be in here. It's the girls' bathroom.
Puck: I'm always here. The stalls are cleaner. Hey, you need to lose the skank act and get it together.
Quinn: Everyone needs to leave me alone because this is who I am.
Puck: You look like a Real Housewife of Reno. I saw Beth.
Quinn: So?
Puck: She's perfect. She looks just like you. Well, the old you.
Quinn: Yeah, well it doesn't matter. We're not parent material.
Puck: We can be.
Quinn: We're never going to be together.
Puck: I don't care about you, I care about her. I don't want her having questions, or being messed up. She needs you in her life.

Puck: Mr. Schue, I want to do that new Cee Lo song Forget You.
Will: No. Come on, guys! There has to be a Journey song we haven't done yet!
[Flashback ends]

Puck: No seriously

Puck: Not a lot of people believe in me and it means a lot that you do.

Puck: Number one, you're hot. Number two, I'm hot. Number three, Beth needs a dad.

Puck: Oh my God, he's coming out.
Finn: Why, yes, there is a man who's sort of recently come into my life, and that man is Jesus Christ.
Puck: That's way worse.

Puck: OK, can we just talk about the Jewish elephant in the room? Ask her out dude!
Finn: Who? Rachel? But she's totally into Jesse right now.
Puck: You're in New York, the city of love.
Sam: [mouth full of food] I thought that was Paris.
Puck: Anything's possible here, and you're going to ask her out tonight. Take her out on one of those big dates you see on unwatchable romantic comedies that you grow a vagina if you watch all the way through.
Sam: This is your shot, dude. If I was in a love with a girl, and I wasn't homeless, I'd totally go for it.

Puck: Once on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm about 90% sure it's still there.

Puck: She was the one that got away...very, very slowly.

Puck: Since I shaved my mohawk, I started seeing things differently. Last week, I joined a black church. And I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis Junior ever recorded on iTunes; he was a black Jew, you know. And my inspiration.

Puck: So are you in? My ass-istant bad ass?