Glee quotes
931 total quotesMrs. Hagberg: What's the capital of Ohio? [Brittany raises her hand] Brittany.
Brittany: O.
[The class looks at her and laughs.]
Brittany: O.
[The class looks at her and laughs.]
Mrs. Hagberg: What? Do you even know who the president is?
Brittany: Will.i.am.
[The class laughs harder.]
Brittany: Will.i.am.
[The class laughs harder.]
Mrs. Hudson: Finn, how many times have I told you, you need to make sure you turn these shirts right out ...
Finn: Mom...Quinn's parents kicked her out. Could she stay here for a couple of days?
Mrs. Hudson: ...Yeah, of course. Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.
Finn: Mom...Quinn's parents kicked her out. Could she stay here for a couple of days?
Mrs. Hudson: ...Yeah, of course. Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.
Paul Karofsky: So let me ask you...why would Kurt make that up?
Dave Karofsky: Maybe he likes me.
Kurt: [opens his eyes wide]
Burt: I think we're wasting our time here. [to Sue] It's your job to protect people.
[Finn is trying to put on a tie, but can't. Santana walks up to him]
Dave Karofsky: Maybe he likes me.
Kurt: [opens his eyes wide]
Burt: I think we're wasting our time here. [to Sue] It's your job to protect people.
[Finn is trying to put on a tie, but can't. Santana walks up to him]
Principal Figgins: As you may have heard, our history teacher, Mrs. Hagberg, has been forced into retirement due to some memory problems.
Flashback to Mrs. Hagberg teaching a class
Mrs. Hagberg: And that's how Germany won the Second World War.
Flashback to Mrs. Hagberg teaching a class
Mrs. Hagberg: And that's how Germany won the Second World War.
Principal Figgins: Why, just this week, we've had five suspensions for intoxication on school grounds.
Student: Figgins, you rock! [lifts his shirt] Yeah man!
Principal Figgins: Six suspensions.
Student: Figgins, you rock! [lifts his shirt] Yeah man!
Principal Figgins: Six suspensions.
Puck: (To Joe) You've got a twig in your head
Joe thinks he's joking and shakes his head*
Joe thinks he's joking and shakes his head*
Puck: (to Finn) We used to be best friends...before I got your girlfriend pregnant and then made out with your other girlfriend.
Puck: [about Beth] Oh my God, she looks like Quinn.
Shelby: And you. She has that same dopey smile.
Shelby: And you. She has that same dopey smile.
Puck: [about Sam dressed like Justin Bieber] That haircut makes your mouth look even bigger.
Sue: Shh. Let her speak.
Sue: Shh. Let her speak.
Puck: [about the Cheerios] Those skirts are crunchy toast! Santana Lopez bent over in hers the other day, and I swear I could see her ovaries.
Puck: [In voiceover] Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain-these are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.
Puck: [on Lauren] Maybe it's because she's constantly insulting me like my mom.
Puck: [to Quinn] I know you're giving her up, but before you do I think you should name her Beth. If you'll let me, I'd really like to be there when she's born. I'd really like to meet her.