Kurt: Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal.

Kurt: Blaine and I love football. Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves.

Kurt: Blaine is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date, that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals.

Kurt: Can I be really honest with you.. because it comes from a place of caring? Been there, done that!

Kurt: Can I come in?
David: Yeah. The doctor's took me off 72-hour watch. I get to go home tomorrow.
Kurt: That's great. I'm really happy that you're alive, David.
David: Me too.
Kurt: I should have returned your calls.
David: Why would you, after the way I've treated you?
Kurt: It's okay.
David: No, it's not okay. It's like you said on Valentine's Day, I made your life a living hell for months. But when the same thing happened to me, I couldn't take it for a week. My supposed best friend telling me he never wants to talk to me again, my mom telling me I have a disease�� and maybe I can be cured. I don't know what to do. I can't go back to that school.
Kurt: Then go to another school. I'm not gonna lie to you, it isn't going to be easy. And there will be days when�� life just sucks. But you're gonna get through this. ��Cause I'm gonna help you. And so is everyone who loves you and accepts you for who you are. And if they can't accept that, then�� screw ��em, right?
David: Yeah.

Kurt: Could you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky about harassing me without damaging my Gaga outfit?
Finn: Are you serious? Do you know how difficult it is with those guys? They already think we're boyfriends.

Kurt: Dad, you have no idea what it's like. I'm the only openly gay kid at school, in this town. Why can't I walk hand in hand down the hall with a person that I like? Why can't I slow-dance at my prom?
Burt: Come here. You think I don't want those things for you? I do. You know, until you find somebody as open and as brave as you, you're just gonna have to get used to go in it alone.

Kurt: Did you know I could get ahi tartare and a steak sandwich at 3 in the morning from their all-night dining menu? I feel like Eloise.
Brittany: I have pills for that.
Will: Now, you are all on lockdown until you finish writing our songs for Nationals. I want at least two solid verses by the time I get back.
Tina: Aren't you going to help us?
Will: I um, I will be back and read your amazing creations and give notes, but right now I have to head to the theatre to fill out some paper work.

Kurt: Do you ever think we're playing it too safe by not granting our hands Visas to travel south of the Equator?

Kurt: Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Shawshank on you.

Kurt: Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton.
[Dave has just dropped Kurt off for french, they pause outside the class room]

Kurt: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay...
Blaine: Gay, gay...
Kurt: Oh my god, I opened my mouth and a little purse fell out! How'd that get there?
Blaine: That's so gay!

Kurt: Geesh! Let loose will ya! STOP BEING SO FREAKIN' UPTIGHT ALL THE TIME!!!!
Will: Kurt, I will see you in the principal's office.

Kurt: Has anyone literally died on stage?
Blaine: [looks over] Are you nervous?
Kurt: Please don't judge me. This is the first time I've had a solo in front of a competition audience. I have this nightmare that I'm going to forget the lyrics or I'm going to sing and nothing is gonna come out. [looks over at Blaine] Okay, you can judge me.
Blaine: I think it's adorable. I think you're adorable. And- and the only people who're going to dying tonight are the people in that audience because you and I are going to kill this thing. Come on, let's go.

Kurt: Have you noticed no-one has said boo to me this week?
Dave: (smiles) That's cause Bully-whips are protecting you.
Kurt: Maybe. But maybe no-one has been harassing me because nobody cares.
Dave: Your dreaming
Kurt: Okay. I'm saying that everyone in the school is ready to embrace the gay. But maybe as least they have evolved enough to be different.
[pauses and looks at Dave]