Jesse: It's good to see you again, Rachel.
Rachel: Jesse... what are you doing here?
Jesse: I mean, how I was supposed to know that I was actually supposed to show to those other classes in school? I was majoring in show choir. I just assumed it would be like in Carmel and the school would get some Asian kid to take Math, English and scientific for me.
Rachel: That's awful.
Jesse: I came back to see you, Rachel. What I did to you... It's my one great regret.
Rachel: Yeah... It was kinda weird. One day you're telling me you loved me, and you were inexplicably throwing eggs at my head the next.
Jesse: I know, I know. I traded love for a fourth consecutive National championship. It was a bum deal. For a first maybe but for a fourth, no way. I've come to make amends. So... What are you doing for prom?

Jesse: Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?
Rachel: Not really.
Jesse: [looks disappointed] Oh.

Jesse: That's sweet. You remember the masculine click of my designer boots

Jesse: They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don't know why or even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.
Rachel: He's so smart, I can't believe he flunked out of college.

Jesse: Usually at this point, the reality show would go to commercial and we would take a five minute break to regroup and get touch ups done on our make-up so I'm going to hit the little boys room. [puts a hand on Mr. Schuester's shoulder] You're doing a great job, though. I really think you should comment more. Don't be shy!
In the choir room:

Jesse: Was that scripted?
Will: No.

Jesse: You do know that song was meant? to be sung by a woman, right?
Kurt: Yes, I'm aware.

Joe: Santana Lopez asked me if the God Squad would sing a love song for Brittany S. Pierce. And after thinking and praying about it, I knew there was only one answer. Absolutely. Love is love, man.

Josh: Saw the commercial. Smokin'!
Santana: Who the hell are you?
Josh: Josh Coleman. Sophomore rugby captain. Girls like you are a challenge. You just need the right guy to straighten you out and I'm just the man to do it.
[The New Directions and Troubletones girls approach Santana and Josh.]

Judy Fabray: Quinnie?
Quinn: Mom. What are you doing here? Is Dad okay��?
Judy Fabray: I came to hear you sing. You were wonderful. I'm-I'm so sorry I missed all the other times you performed. Were there a lot? I left your father. Well, I-I��kicked him out, actually. He was having an affair with some, uh��tattooed freak. Quinnie, I want you to come home with me. I can turn the guest room into a nursery. Oh, sweetie, say something.
Quinn: My water just broke.

Karofsky I feel accepted.

Karofsky: All I can say is that Santana has really helped me to see the light. She showed me all these stories on-line about kids jumping off of bridges and hanging themselves because they were being bullied so bad. I couldn't believe someone could make another person feel that awful. But she helped me accept that I was one of those bad people, and I don't want to be any more.

Karofsy: So this is what the ladies lounge looks like on the inside
Sam: This is the choir room. Now put up your hands cause you and I are gonna do some dancing.
Finn: No, I got this, Sam.

Katie Couric: Thoughts?
Sue: I hate you, Diane Sawyer.

Kendra: You got the beauty, but I got the brains and the beauty.