Glee quotes
931 total quotesJacob: When will you glee clubbers ...
Kurt: I don't know.
Jacob: ... accept the fact that people hate you ...
Kurt: Kiss it, Jacob.
Jacob: ... and think you're nothing but a glorified ...
Kurt: Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?
Kurt: You know what Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barkaloungers and log onto the Internet and start tearing people down, does it. But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say TO MY FACE!!
Azimio: [throws slushie in Kurt's face] Welcome back, Lady!
Kurt: [to Jacob] I don't suppose you could just cut out that last part, is there?
Kurt: I don't know.
Jacob: ... accept the fact that people hate you ...
Kurt: Kiss it, Jacob.
Jacob: ... and think you're nothing but a glorified ...
Kurt: Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?
Kurt: You know what Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barkaloungers and log onto the Internet and start tearing people down, does it. But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say TO MY FACE!!
Azimio: [throws slushie in Kurt's face] Welcome back, Lady!
Kurt: [to Jacob] I don't suppose you could just cut out that last part, is there?
Jacob: Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your glee club song selection sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod?
Will: Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock.
Jacob: 100% gay.
Will: Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock.
Jacob: 100% gay.
Jacob: You're like a toddler with a loose lid on his sippy cup. No more juice. Get ready for payback, Puckerman.
Jeremiah: No one here knows I'm gay.
Kurt: Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do.
Jeremiah: Blaine, let's just be clear here. You and I got coffee twice, we're not dating. If we were I'd get arrested, considering your age.
Kurt: Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do.
Jeremiah: Blaine, let's just be clear here. You and I got coffee twice, we're not dating. If we were I'd get arrested, considering your age.
Jesse St. James: Excuse me, Mrs. Tibideaux? I'm Jesse St. James, coach of Vocal Adrenaline. I auditioned to you two years ago. You said I showed promise.
Carmen Tibideaux: And you probably did. I see hundreds of people every day. Good day to you.
Jesse St. James: No, I'm not here for me. I heard that you came here today to see Rachel Berry. And there's something you need to know about her. Rachel's the most talented person I've ever met. Bar none. If anyone is going to be a star someday, it's her. She'll make an excellent contribution to NYADA. You won't regret it, I promise.
Carmen Tibideaux: And you probably did. I see hundreds of people every day. Good day to you.
Jesse St. James: No, I'm not here for me. I heard that you came here today to see Rachel Berry. And there's something you need to know about her. Rachel's the most talented person I've ever met. Bar none. If anyone is going to be a star someday, it's her. She'll make an excellent contribution to NYADA. You won't regret it, I promise.
Jesse St. James: Lionel Richie, uh? One of my favorites.
Rachel Berry: Oh, my God, you're Jesse St. James. You're in Vocal Adrenaline.
Jesse St. James: And you're Rachel Berry. I saw your performance in sectionals. Your rendition of Don't Rain On My Parade was flawed. You totally lacked Barbra's emotional depth. But you're talented. This is one of my favorite haunts. I like to come and flip through the celebrity biographies; pick up some lifestyle tips. I'm a senior now, so this year is kinda my victory lap. Snagging a fourth consecutive national championship would just be gravy. I'm getting out of Ohio soon. I've got a full ride to a little school called the University of California, Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.
Rachel Berry: Oh, my God, you're Jesse St. James. You're in Vocal Adrenaline.
Jesse St. James: And you're Rachel Berry. I saw your performance in sectionals. Your rendition of Don't Rain On My Parade was flawed. You totally lacked Barbra's emotional depth. But you're talented. This is one of my favorite haunts. I like to come and flip through the celebrity biographies; pick up some lifestyle tips. I'm a senior now, so this year is kinda my victory lap. Snagging a fourth consecutive national championship would just be gravy. I'm getting out of Ohio soon. I've got a full ride to a little school called the University of California, Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.
Jesse St. James: Looking for what is left of your dignity?
Rachel Berry: Nice to see you too, Jesse.
Jesse St. James: If I were you, I'd spend more time focusing on how you're gonna wrap up fourth place than looking for her. There's no way how Carmen Tibideaux is coming here.
Rachel Berry: Wait, how do you know about Carmen?
Jesse St. James: It's my place just to know everything that's going on with my competition. I'm always looking for that extra edge. I'd hate to think you'd pull the same choke job up there today.
Rachel Berry: Look, I know exactly what you're doing, okay? We didn't date for that long, and I don't even know exactly how much of it was real, but when you get nervous, you get mean, then really pale, then you start putting your hands through your hair like Danny Zucko.
Jesse St. James: Look, you have no idea the kind of pressure I'm in here. Last year Vocal Adrenaline lost for the first time in eight years. If we lose again this year, that's it, the dynasty is over. The mystique that we use in order to intimidate our opponents will vanish. I promised them I'd reboot the program, I'll be humiliated.
Rachel Berry: You did help the program. What you did with Unique was amazing!
Jesse St. James: That was a pretty inspired idea of mine.
Rachel Berry: It was actually Kurt's and Mercedes' idea, but...
Jesse St. James: ... But I implemented it. I just think that these new rules are messing with my head. 33% of the numbers have be vintage? What does that even mean? The only thing vintage about me is my Tyrone Powers haircut and my pager.
Rachel Berry: Are you forgetting who you are, Jesse? Your Bohemian Rhapsody was like the benchmark performance for every showchoir competition in the past ten years.
Jesse St. James: Most people don't realize I lost ten pounds during that performance.
Rachel Berry: You guys are going to do great today. Even though we're definitely going to win.
Jesse St. James: Cocky all of a sudden. I like it.
Rachel Berry: Nice to see you too, Jesse.
Jesse St. James: If I were you, I'd spend more time focusing on how you're gonna wrap up fourth place than looking for her. There's no way how Carmen Tibideaux is coming here.
Rachel Berry: Wait, how do you know about Carmen?
Jesse St. James: It's my place just to know everything that's going on with my competition. I'm always looking for that extra edge. I'd hate to think you'd pull the same choke job up there today.
Rachel Berry: Look, I know exactly what you're doing, okay? We didn't date for that long, and I don't even know exactly how much of it was real, but when you get nervous, you get mean, then really pale, then you start putting your hands through your hair like Danny Zucko.
Jesse St. James: Look, you have no idea the kind of pressure I'm in here. Last year Vocal Adrenaline lost for the first time in eight years. If we lose again this year, that's it, the dynasty is over. The mystique that we use in order to intimidate our opponents will vanish. I promised them I'd reboot the program, I'll be humiliated.
Rachel Berry: You did help the program. What you did with Unique was amazing!
Jesse St. James: That was a pretty inspired idea of mine.
Rachel Berry: It was actually Kurt's and Mercedes' idea, but...
Jesse St. James: ... But I implemented it. I just think that these new rules are messing with my head. 33% of the numbers have be vintage? What does that even mean? The only thing vintage about me is my Tyrone Powers haircut and my pager.
Rachel Berry: Are you forgetting who you are, Jesse? Your Bohemian Rhapsody was like the benchmark performance for every showchoir competition in the past ten years.
Jesse St. James: Most people don't realize I lost ten pounds during that performance.
Rachel Berry: You guys are going to do great today. Even though we're definitely going to win.
Jesse St. James: Cocky all of a sudden. I like it.
Jesse St. James: What do you say we take her for a spin?
Rachel Berry: Here? No-no, I'm kinda nervous.
Jesse St. James: I remember when I used to get nervous. C'mon. I do this all the time. I like to give impromptu concerts to the homeless. It's so important to give back.
Rachel Berry: Here? No-no, I'm kinda nervous.
Jesse St. James: I remember when I used to get nervous. C'mon. I do this all the time. I like to give impromptu concerts to the homeless. It's so important to give back.
Jesse St. James: [to Rachel, who locked in the bathroom] Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.
Rachel Berry: Look, Jesse, I really like you, but I can't do it. It wouldn't be right for... the team.
Jesse St. James: What does the team have to do with this?
Rachel Berry: If I give myself to you knowing that my teammates wouldn't approve, it would be like I was sleeping with the enemy. I'd be betraying them. And because I'm truly not ready to do this, I'd be betraying myself.
[Schuester has just told New Directions that Jesse is joining]
Rachel Berry: Look, Jesse, I really like you, but I can't do it. It wouldn't be right for... the team.
Jesse St. James: What does the team have to do with this?
Rachel Berry: If I give myself to you knowing that my teammates wouldn't approve, it would be like I was sleeping with the enemy. I'd be betraying them. And because I'm truly not ready to do this, I'd be betraying myself.
[Schuester has just told New Directions that Jesse is joining]
Jesse: [watching Rachel] Hi.
Rachel: [stops dancing after seeing Jesse] Hi. How was your spring break?
Jesse: Good. It's good to be back. What were you just rehearsing?
Rachel: A guy came to glee club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm gonna play three parts in Broadway: Evita, 'Funny Girl' and Laurey in 'Oklahoma!'. I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.
Jesse: That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd is not a fantasy. It's an inevitability.
Rachel: [hugging Jesse] I thought you'd never come back.
Jesse: And miss all your drama? Never.
Rachel: [stops dancing after seeing Jesse] Hi. How was your spring break?
Jesse: Good. It's good to be back. What were you just rehearsing?
Rachel: A guy came to glee club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm gonna play three parts in Broadway: Evita, 'Funny Girl' and Laurey in 'Oklahoma!'. I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.
Jesse: That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd is not a fantasy. It's an inevitability.
Rachel: [hugging Jesse] I thought you'd never come back.
Jesse: And miss all your drama? Never.
Jesse: Do you want to know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a number? They use them as a prop. Like Weekend at Bernie's.
Jesse: Finn, I think it's the best if you sit this one out. Fact is that most the other guys here are better singers and Mike Chang, who can't even sing, can at least dance. You kind of? sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.
Jesse: I took a class at UCLA in judging for reality-TV shows, so I'm totally ready to give feedback that's both blistering and unhelpful.
Jesse: I was writing notes about how you didn't have enough emotion in the song.
Santana: Oh, is that so? Well I happen to have some feedback for you!
Will: Thank you, Santana.
Santana: I'm about to go all Lima Heights on you.
Santana: Oh, is that so? Well I happen to have some feedback for you!
Will: Thank you, Santana.
Santana: I'm about to go all Lima Heights on you.