Glee quotes
931 total quotesHolly: You don't want any of this. I'm damaged goods. Yes, that makes me terrific in bed, but it also means I tend to break nice guys like you into Wasa Crackers.
Howard: Do I get a super villain nickname?
Sue: Your nickname is Panda Express.
Howard: But I'm not Chinese.
Sue: Neither is the food at Panda Express.
Sue: Your nickname is Panda Express.
Howard: But I'm not Chinese.
Sue: Neither is the food at Panda Express.
Jacob Ben Israel: The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined that you're the hottest girl in this school.
Rachel: Ew.
Rachel: Ew.
Jacob: [to the cameraman] Did you get that? [to audience] You saw it here first.
Jacob: Brittany, what are your plans for the future?
Brittany: Wait, are you working on a time machine too?
Brittany: Wait, are you working on a time machine too?
Jacob: Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy.
Puck: It's true. It was the responsible thing to do.
Jacob: Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression because you're not over Miss Fabray? [Puck blocks the camera's view.]
Puck: It's true. It was the responsible thing to do.
Jacob: Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression because you're not over Miss Fabray? [Puck blocks the camera's view.]
Jacob: Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping?
Will: Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap?
Will: Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap?
Jacob: How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child?
Quinn: Well, I'm happy to be back and ready to start fresh. And.. I'm a lot less hormonal, so there's not really any more crying.
Jacob: [noticing Santana's boob job] How was YOUR summer?
Santana: My eyes are up here, Jewfro. And it was uneventful.
Brittany: People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
Quinn: Well, I'm happy to be back and ready to start fresh. And.. I'm a lot less hormonal, so there's not really any more crying.
Jacob: [noticing Santana's boob job] How was YOUR summer?
Santana: My eyes are up here, Jewfro. And it was uneventful.
Brittany: People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
Jacob: Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with?
Finn: Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.
Rachel: We've been dating all summer.
Finn: Rachel's what you'd call a controlist.
Rachel: I...I'm controlling. [to Finn] "Controlist" isn't a word.
Finn: Oh.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?
Finn: Yes! [Rachel looks at Finn] That was out loud, wasn't it?
Finn: Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.
Rachel: We've been dating all summer.
Finn: Rachel's what you'd call a controlist.
Rachel: I...I'm controlling. [to Finn] "Controlist" isn't a word.
Finn: Oh.
Rachel: I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?
Finn: Yes! [Rachel looks at Finn] That was out loud, wasn't it?
Jacob: Technology allows us to be brutally cruel without suffering any consequences.
Jacob: What can you say about the rumors that the two of you are dating?
Tina: Because we're both Asian? That's racist!
Mike: Totally racist!
[Tina and Mike walk away holding hands]
Tina: Because we're both Asian? That's racist!
Mike: Totally racist!
[Tina and Mike walk away holding hands]