Glee quotes

931 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1  



Hiram: Shh. Listen. Listen. Shh, listen! Silence. They're not fighting anymore. It's not working. What, is he defiling our baby?
LeRoy: Do you need a Xanax?
Hiram: I already took three. This is a stupid plan. We've never lied to her like this before. Honesty, respect, dance. Those are the foundations of the Berry family.

Hiram: So I said, "Leroy, these guys sold us the wrong lube. That's why the rubber is squeaking, that's why it feels so weird when we're going fast."
LeRoy: Hiram, what are we talking about?
Burt: We're talking cars.

Holly Holliday: Rachel.. you suck! Oh my God, you're like a total drag! Has anyone ever told you that?
Puck: (passes by)I have.

Holly Holliday: Wow... Your wife's kind of a bitch.

Holly: Lindsey Lohan es bien loca, no?

Holly: [in a classroom] Demonstration: [holds a condom] this is a condom. Which can help prevent the spread of HIV, which can lead to AIDS. And it also prevents pregnancy. [holds a cucumber]
Finn: [shocked] Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?
Mercedes: Seriously? 'Cause I just had them in my salad!

Holly: [walks in the choir room and slides the buttered floor]
Artie: Oh what the hell?
Holly: Hola classe. Nothing says buenos días like a buttered floor.
Kurt: [walks in and slips]

Holly: Cee-Lo, that's what I'm talking about!
Santana: What would you know about Cee-Lo? You're like... 40.
Holly: Top 40, sweet cheeks. Hit it!

Holly: Hey Rachel!
Rachel: Hello, Ms. Holiday. I'd like you know that I have a very severe bruise on my right buttocks from your game of gansta rap musical chairs. I'll be going on record with the school nurse later today.

Holly: Hola, clase.
Mercedes: Oh no, it's the salad lady.
Holly: Okay. So sex...it's just like hugging, only wetter.
Artie: Yeah it is.
Holly: Okay, so let's start with the basics. [to Finn] Finn, is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?
Finn: I have always been dubious.
Will: [strikes the piano keys]
Holly: [to Brittany] And Brittany, you think that storks bring babies?
Brittany: I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons.
Will: [strikes the piano again]

Holly: I'm Holly Holliday.
Terri Schuester: Are you a porn star or a drag queen?

Holly: It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with.

Holly: Last year a guy asked me to marry him. I moved.

Holly: So just remember whenever you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with. And everybody's got a random

Holly: These kids feel special; they have a voice, and if we don't listen to it, they just tune us out.