Finn: Hey, Jesse. What'd you order, scrambled eggs? I mean, I know you usually like them served on people's heads.
Jesse: Quinn, you look stunning. The ghost of Grace Kelly. Let me know if you get tired of your boyfriend stomping on your pretty little feet all night. I'd be more than happy to cut in.

Finn: Hey, man. Why didn't you show at the audition?
Sam: I wanted to. I really did. But after what Coach Beiste did to you...Do you know what everyone says about you Glee Guys?
Finn: Oh, yea, you get used to all that.

Finn: Hey, Sam. My name's Finn. This here's Artie.
Sam: Uh, I know who you are. You're the quarterback.
Finn: Exactly. Which makes me VERY cool.

Finn: Hi.
Rachel: Hi. What's so important?
Finn: Uh... [gives the flowers he's holding to Rachel] These are for you. I thought since we're both captains and all that we should write a duet for Nationals.
Rachel: The tie, flowers, Central Park?
Finn: It's uh... a work date. Totally professional.

Finn: How do we know he's not gonna trick us into doing something stupid so his alma mater wins?
Jesse: I don't think I need to do much tricking to make you do something stupid, Finn.

Finn: How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore?
Rachel: I'm actually kind of happy about it. Now I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma.

Finn: I can't believe you narced on us!

Finn: I didn't know Backdraft was a musical.
Rachel: [frowns when realizations hits her]
Announcer: Someone get the door because here comes Mr. Package.
Rachel: Oh God no.
Announcer: And ladies, let's give a warm welcome to White Chocolate.
[Sam walks out and starts dancing on the stage as a stripper called White Chocolate and Finn and Rachel stare in shock.]

Finn: I don't know what's going in this script and it's not in a cool Inception way.
Rachel: Just try it, okay? Okay, so they take off our wet clothes and we do the rest of the scene in our underwear.
Finn: Wait, I'm in my tighty whities?
Rachel: Yeah.
Finn: I can't be on stage in front of the whole school in my tighty whities. They're gonna be able to see my whole business.

Finn: I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man!
Kurt: And what "stuff" are you referring to?
Finn: You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb. Well, can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
Kurt: I have accepted that.
Finn: No, you haven't. You think I don't see the way you stare at me, how flirty you get? You think I don't know why yow got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together?
Kurt: It's just a room, Finn! We can redecorate if you want to!
Finn: Okay, good. Well then the first thing that needs to go is that faggy lamp. And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch cover��
Burt: (coming downstairs) Hey! What did you just call him?
Finn: Oh, no, no, I didn't call him anything. I was just talking to the blanket.
Burt: If you use that word, you're talking about him.
Kurt: Relax, Dad. I didn't take it that way.
Burt: Yeah, that's because you're 16 and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. (to Finn) You use the "N" word?
Finn: Of course not.
Burt: How about "retard"? You call that nice girl in Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Finn: Becky-no. She's my friend, she's got Down syndrome. I'd never call her that. That's cruel.
Burt: But you think it's okay to come into my house and say "faggy"?
Finn: That's not what I meant.
Burt: I know what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice, we'd tell him to stop being such a fag. Shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it's some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently. Who just kind of, you know, came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry Finn, but you can't - you can't stay here.
Kurt: (softly) Dad!
Burt: I love your mom and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around here. (to Kurt) This is our home, Kurt. (to Finn) He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want; not under my roof.

Finn: I don't want you to die. A few weeks ago, some kid who made one of those It Gets Better videos killed himself.
Santana: Thanks, but that's never going to happen. I'd miss me too much.

Finn: I know I'm a big athlete and it's not manly or anything, but I'm kinda insecure about how I look.

Finn: I know that you're a big deal at Dalton or whatever, but we don't wear blazers here. So have a seat, I'm trying to have a pep talk here.
Blaine: Didn't you just say something about us not turning against each other?

Finn: I like the way you dream so big, I don't know how to do that. You look so pretty tonight. Rachel, I have something to say to you.
Rachel: Oh my God. It's Patti LuPone!

Finn: I was super hungry but my mom was gone so I busted out the George Foreman. It wasn't making cool grill marks like it used to after I tried to use it to dry my shoes, but when it comes to grilled cheese, I'm not that fancy.