X-tacle #2: What's that supposed to be?
X-tacle #3: A little ashtray.
X-tacle #2: For who?
X-tacle #3: It's...it's for my mom.
X-tacle #2: Wh--Diane still smokes?
X-tacle #3: Yeah, right in the...you know... [points at neck] the little neckhole.
X-tacle #4: Dude!
X-tacle #3: Dude I know... It's My mom

X-tacle #3: [on the Scion tC] I could take that to the beach.
X-tacle #4: [raising hand] Shotgun!
X-tacle #2: You at the beach, with your skin?

X-tacle #3: [His GPS tracker has picked up the signal in the Robot pants] Guys, come on! He's right outside!
X-tacle #2: Wait, my paint's not dry.
X-tacle #3: I told you not to glob it on like that.

X-tacle: See you in hell dick.

X-tacle: So you want it in the face or...?
Xander: No, not my handsome face!
X-tacle: Aw, just kidding, you don't get to pick.

X-tacle: Where the hell is Crews?! And where are your pants?

X-tacles: (playing with beach ball, while everyone else screams) Boosh, boosh, boosh, boosh...

X-tacles: [chanting] Scion tC!
Mao: [watching in store] Sci-ron t-She!

Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Do you hear a dial tone? 'Cause Barnaby Jones is off the hook!

Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: My ear! Somebody put it in milk! [Killface spits it out]
Killface: What's that?
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: No no no, they can reattach it! [Stan's clones jump down on the ear and presumably eat it while harrumphing]
Killface: Now there's something you don't see everyday.

Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Oh, you're fuckin' dead.
Killface: Yes, that's the spirit, Barnaby. [Xander smashes Killface in the face] Oh you're really selling it.
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Oh, what's that? I obviously can't hear you.
Killface: Okay, Barnaby?
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Hey, I'm Killface, and I have a plan! Let me shoot your fuckin' eyes out! And then, let's wander around a fuckin' sewer our whole lives, looking for my fat ass, weirdo kid!
Killface: Hey-
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Who just happens to be-
Killface: Barnaby-
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: The world's fattest fucking pussy! [Killface yells and bashes Xander to the ground]
Killface: You made me do that! [Steps on Xander's neck]
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Well, your kid's still a pussy.
Killface: Barnaby-
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: 'Cause you are a failure as a parent.

Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: So hey. Thanks for not killing me. Things got a little crazy back there.
Killface: Barnaby, how could I kill my best friend?
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Yeah...
Killface: Barnaby, we're BFF!

Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: So that's your plan? Break in there, kill all the guards, and rescue Simon?
Killface: A simple, logical progression, Barnaby. [They are hit by spotlights]
Chinese Guard: Fleeze, douchebags!
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Yeah... yeah pretty much writes itself.

Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: Yeah, I am actually [Takes off wig and glasses] Xander Crews!
Killface: What!
Xander Crews/Barnaby Jones: [runs off] Woo woo woo!

Xander crews: And for your information managing a workforce the size of the X-tacles is...
Nerd #1: Yeah.
Xander crews: Like, that takes management skills.
Nerd #1: It Does.
Nerd #2: So your superpower is... management? Baffling.
Xander Crews: You're a bitch.