CSI: Miami quotes
646 total quotes[One of the kids who broke into the Crime Lab to steal evidence, following a video game plot, is shot in the arm.]
Michael: It hurts!
Horatio: Real bullets are funny like that, Michael.
Michael: It hurts!
Horatio: Real bullets are funny like that, Michael.
[Ryan and Calleigh interrogate a suspect.]
Game Tester: This job gives me a lot of tension, sometimes I, mmm... self-medicate. Ron's got the best weed, I snagged a blunt while he was in the men's room.
Ryan: That's an interesting defense.
Game Tester: This job gives me a lot of tension, sometimes I, mmm... self-medicate. Ron's got the best weed, I snagged a blunt while he was in the men's room.
Ryan: That's an interesting defense.
[Ryan is breaking glass to prove liquid flow patterns in a crime scene.]
Calleigh: Anger management?
Ryan: No, just an experiment.
Calleigh: Anger management?
Ryan: No, just an experiment.
[Ryan lifts a hair from the victim.]
Ryan: The killer may have been short in stature, well groomed and... possibly Persian... although he may have had a hard time lifting the cleaver with his paws.
Alexx: Cat hair?
Ryan: Even killers have pets.
Ryan: The killer may have been short in stature, well groomed and... possibly Persian... although he may have had a hard time lifting the cleaver with his paws.
Alexx: Cat hair?
Ryan: Even killers have pets.
[Ryan notices a vibe when Calleigh and Det. Hagen were talking.]
Ryan: What was that about?
Calleigh: Complicated, he's been I.O.D.
Ryan: I.O.D. What was the problem?
Calleigh: I don't know, something about a bad back.
Ryan: [Cynical.] Hmm, yeah, I've heard that one before.
Calleigh: What's that supposed to mean?
Ryan: Nothing.
Calleigh: You can tell me.
Ryan: [Reluctant.] A couple of guys I knew on patrol, "bad back" meant they couldn't get cleared by the Department shrink.
Ryan: What was that about?
Calleigh: Complicated, he's been I.O.D.
Ryan: I.O.D. What was the problem?
Calleigh: I don't know, something about a bad back.
Ryan: [Cynical.] Hmm, yeah, I've heard that one before.
Calleigh: What's that supposed to mean?
Ryan: Nothing.
Calleigh: You can tell me.
Ryan: [Reluctant.] A couple of guys I knew on patrol, "bad back" meant they couldn't get cleared by the Department shrink.
[Ryan puts on protective glasses to try firing the nail gun.]
Ryan: [Scoffs.] Yeah, like these things are gonna stop a nail.
Ryan: [Scoffs.] Yeah, like these things are gonna stop a nail.
[Ryan tries to get a DNA sample from a possible suspect.]
Venus: So serious. That's hot.
Ryan: Open your mouth.
Venus: Guys usually say please.
Ryan: What's the name of the Buckeye State?
Venus: What's a buckeye?
Ryan: Say Ohio.
Venus: Ohi-- [Ryan quickly swabs her cheek]...that's hot.
Venus: So serious. That's hot.
Ryan: Open your mouth.
Venus: Guys usually say please.
Ryan: What's the name of the Buckeye State?
Venus: What's a buckeye?
Ryan: Say Ohio.
Venus: Ohi-- [Ryan quickly swabs her cheek]...that's hot.
[Speed and Eric are collecting the crowd's cell phones.]
Crowd Girl: Don't you need a warrant or something?
Speed: Yeah, if you want it locked in evidence for 3 years.
Eric: Or you can just give it to us for 3 hours, your choice.
[The girls hands over her phone.]
Crowd Girl: OK, but what am I supposed to do for 3 hours?
Speed: I don't know, stop talking?
Crowd Girl: Don't you need a warrant or something?
Speed: Yeah, if you want it locked in evidence for 3 years.
Eric: Or you can just give it to us for 3 hours, your choice.
[The girls hands over her phone.]
Crowd Girl: OK, but what am I supposed to do for 3 hours?
Speed: I don't know, stop talking?
[Speed and Eric discuss a rap magazine.]
Eric: ...Yeah, but he's just talking trash; in the business, it's all about the streets.
Speed: Right, you've got to keep your pimp hand strong.
Eric: ...Yeah, but he's just talking trash; in the business, it's all about the streets.
Speed: Right, you've got to keep your pimp hand strong.
[Talking to an AA group visiting the morgue, showing them a car crash victim, Glen Monroe.]
Alexx: He chose to drink and drive, so you remember Glen Monroe, and deal with your problem before you make it mine.
Alexx: He chose to drink and drive, so you remember Glen Monroe, and deal with your problem before you make it mine.
[The police arrive to stop the Athertons from wreaking their boat with a gun and a chainsaw and order Mr Atherton to put down his weapon]
Nathan Atherton: She's the one with the chainsaw!
Nathan Atherton: She's the one with the chainsaw!
[The victim had sex before she died, and Ryan's going to run a DNA sample.]
Ryan: I'll run it against the husband.
Alexx: All the parties on that block, honey, I'd run it against the entire neighborhood.
Ryan: I'll run it against the husband.
Alexx: All the parties on that block, honey, I'd run it against the entire neighborhood.
[The victim's missing a foot.]
Eric: Did you get a T.O.D., or do we need the foot for that too?
Alexx: Liver temp at the scene puts the boy's death at about 1 am...and if you don't get out of here, you're going to be next...and find me that foot!
Eric: Did you get a T.O.D., or do we need the foot for that too?
Alexx: Liver temp at the scene puts the boy's death at about 1 am...and if you don't get out of here, you're going to be next...and find me that foot!
[The water heater from the burned house lands on Frank's car.]
Tripp: I just bought that car.
Horatio: You all right?
Tripp: Yeah. First it's a damn land mine, now it's a flying water heater. What next?
Horatio: Next, we catch a killer.
Tripp: I just bought that car.
Horatio: You all right?
Tripp: Yeah. First it's a damn land mine, now it's a flying water heater. What next?
Horatio: Next, we catch a killer.
[To an impatient man about him being allowed to leave the scene]
Speed: No, no, you can't. You know why? Because now you're a suspect, so go ahead and get comfortable. Legally. [Man walks away] (To himself) Jackass.
Speed: No, no, you can't. You know why? Because now you're a suspect, so go ahead and get comfortable. Legally. [Man walks away] (To himself) Jackass.