Castle:This is dead. You're not. Time to start making new memories

Clerk: Here you go sir.
Beckett: I cannot believe that you asked for samples.
Castle: She said anything we needed!
Beckett: (Hmph)
Castle: Besides, it's not for me; it's for Ryan and Esposito.
Beckett: Don't you mean Charlotte and Miranda?
Castle: Wait a minute, that would make me Carrie.
Beckett: You are SO metro-sexual for even knowing that!
Castle: I only watched that show out of the corner of my eye when my mother had it on! That did not come out right...

Conman's fiance: He wasn't a con man. He was in the CIA.
Castle: [thrilled] Best case ever.
Beckett: [half-interrupting him] Shut up.

Dispatch:Dispatch to One Lincoln Forty, repeat. Dispatch to One Lincoln Forty. One Lincoln Forty, are you there?
Beckett:One Lincoln Forty. Please be advised, this is now a homicide.

Esposito [to Castle]: Why do you care about some mother-freaking snakes on a mother-freaking plane?

Esposito: [About the bachelor-party cop twins' uniforms at the photo shoot] Hey, Beckett, how come you don't wear a uniform like that?
Beckett: Because I don't want to be paid in singles.

Esposito: [To Beckett] A control freak like you with something you can't control? No, no, that's gonna be more fun than Shark Week.

Esposito: I found something unusual. Almost every morning she bought coffee.
Ryan: A doctor that drinks coffee, wow that is unusual.
Esposito: It is. The coffee shop is twenty blocks from her apartment.
Castle: Maybe it was on her way to work?
Esposito: Nope, complete opposite direction.
Castle: Boyfriend in the neighborhood?
Esposito: Only one way to find out. (walks away)
Ryan: Great, now he's mad at me.

Esposito: So... Castle's last case, huh?
Beckett: Mm-hmm.
Esposito: Ryan and I thought we'd do a little going away party.
Beckett: Yeah. Well, it's not like he's leaving forever.
Esposito: You sure about that? Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? What, research? The guy has done enough research to write 50 books. Look... whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy.
Season 3

Esposito: That was a nice thing you guys did in there.
Castle: Well, I just thought that after everything Greg did for her, they deserve a chance. Besides, if it were you and I in Amy's shoes, we'd still be rotting in prison.
Esposito: Huh, speak for yourself, bro. I'd escape.
Castle: What, you'd just leave me in there?
Esposito: It's the law of the jungle. I gotta look out for numero uno.
Castle: Wow. Nothing like a hypothetical prison term to let you know who your friends really are.
Beckett: Don't worry Castle, I'd get you out.

Esposito: Yo, Ryan, 'sup man, where you been?
Ryan: Down at the college running down that break-in in Hamilton's office. So listen to this- (looks down at the desk) What the hell is this?
Esposito: That, my friend, is Beau Randolph's alibi.
Ryan: A dead pigeon?
Esposito: CSU found it on the roof of his building with a slug on his belly from his .45.
Ryan: Seriously? Randolph really did come up there, huh?
Esposito: Just writing him up for animal cruelty right now.
Ryan: Maybe there's still time to cryogenically freeze the little guy��

Esposito: You know what I don't get? Who would steal a dead body?
Castle: Oh, plenty of people. Organ harvesters, cadaver-less med students, Satanists. [pause] Mad scientists looking to create their own monster.
Beckett: Or the guys who killed him might have left some evidence behind.
Castle: Boring. How about a spy having swallowed a microchip that the enemy spies murder him over before the CIA can get ahold of him?

Jessup: [Regarding his handcuffs] Hey, you guys mind if I take these things off? I'm starting to feel like a stereotype riding around in the back of a police car wearing them.
Beckett: Sure. Do you want my key?
Jessup: Nah, I got it. Thanks. [Undoes his handcuffs]
Castle: How did you do that?
Jessup: I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?
Beckett: A felon who wants to be a locksmith. What could possibly go wrong there?
Jessup: You don't have to be mean about it.
Castle: Yeah. Wow.
[Beckett glares, beat, Castle relocated to back seat with Jessup]

Jordan: What is he doing?
Beckett: He, uh, touches things.
Castle: Night vision goggles. Think I have the newer model though. Maybe in my third book, Nikki Heat will cross paths with a good looking yet cold-hearted FBI profiler. Call it Federal Heat. [Both Beckett and Jordan glare at him] ��Or maybe not.
Jordan: So how long have you two been sleeping together?
Beckett: Um, we're, we're not sleeping together. We, he just observes me.
Jordan: Yeah, I've seen the way he observes you.
Castle: No, she's right. Aside from my second wife, this is most sexless relationship I've ever been in.
Jordan: I've been profiling people for a long time. I'm hardly ever wrong.
Beckett: Well, this time you are. Wrong.
Jordan: So if you're not sleeping together, why do you keep him around?
Castle: You know I can hear you.
Beckett: He's actually proven to be surprisingly helpful.
Jordan: Huh, I'll take your word on that. [Sees Castle playing with a Taser ] Put. The Taser. Down.

Kate: Hey.
Castle: Hey.
Kate: What are you doing?
Castle: Just waiting for my partner. Maybe you've seen her. Pretty girl, thinks she can leap tall buildings in a single bound, carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, yet, still manages to laugh at some of my jokes.
Kate: She sounds like a handful.
Castle: Tell me about it. Anyway, if you do see her, tell her she owes me about a hundred coffees.
Kate: Castle? Thank you.
Castle: For what?
Kate: For not pushing, and giving me the space to get through this.
Castle: Always.