Castle: What broke?
Alexis: Stupid glass.
Castle: Remind me to get smarter glasses.

Castle: What is it with professional sports? Even the agencies are on steroids.
Beckett: Fox's client list is a veritable who's-who of star athletes. Five percent of their endorsements and salaries? You could pay for half of lower Manhattan.
Castle: ...did you just use the word "veritable?"
Beckett: Yes, I did.
Castle: Sexy.
Beckett: You should hear me say "fallacious."

Castle: What's a good time?
Beckett: Well, if you don't know by now, it's probably too late to show you.

Castle: What's gonna happen with that tiger anyway?
Esposito: Shoot it.
Kate: She'll get transferred to a sanctuary.
Esposito: Or that.
Kate: Probably end up in a zoo. Why, you wanna go visit her?
Castle: No. No thanks, I'm good.
Kate: Alright, you guys get some rest.
Esposito: You too.
Kate: That has gotta be the strangest brush with death I've ever had.
Castle: Me too. But I'll tell ya, after that experience, if I ever have to be hitched to someone, it would be you.
Kate: Hitched?
Castle: Hitched? No, I didn't say hitched. I said cuffed. Handcuffed, not hitched. (He helps her into her jacket.) The colloquial or any other connotation or meaning.
Kate: It's okay, Castle, I understood what you meant, and for what it's worth, if I ever have to spend another night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you either.
Castle: Really?
Kate: But next time, let's do it without the tiger. (She walks past him.)
Castle: Next time?
(Kate glances back, and then keeps walking. Castle grins.)

Castle: Who was murdered, and was it gruesome?

Castle: Whoa. You smell that? Wafting scent of printed pages. Comicadia. Beckett, this place is the premier comic book shop. It's the Vatican to a Catholic. It's Mecca to a pilgrim. Upstream to a...
Beckett: I know, Castle! I bought my first comic here when I was 14. Sin City. Dame to Kill For.
Castle: Hard core! Okay, whoa, okay. If you could be any comic book character in the world, who would you be?
Beckett: Elektra.
Castle: Oh. A ruthless assassin who hides from her emotions.
Beckett: No, maybe it's because she's got badass ninja skills.
Castle: Oh.
Beckett: What about you? Iron Man, Spiderman? No wait, I know, Annoying Man.
Castle: Try billionaire industrialist Bruce Wayne, aka, the Dark Knight. He's brooding, he'd handsome, and he has all the coolest toys.
Beckett: Wow, digging deep on that one.

Castle: Wilder, Daemon Wilder?
Esposito: Yeah, you know him?
Castle: I know of him, this is a photo of one of his ad campaigns. He runs a line of boutique men's skin care products.
Ryan: You mean like bathroom stuff?
Castle: He's got a toner; totally alcohol free. Fantastic. He's got a shaving cream that is ridiculous.
Esposito: I'm good with the drug store stuff man.
Castle: No no no no, hang on. This stuff will change your life. (squirt)
Esposito: It's hot...
Castle: It's hot.
Ryan: It's hot?
Castle: It's HOT.
Ryan: It's hot! How do they do that?

Castle: Wonder what's up with Alexis. She seems a little out of it.
Martha: Isn't it obvious?
Castle: What?
Martha: Oh, she's in love.
Castle: Alexis?
Martha: Oh, come on, darling. In case you haven't noticed, she's not a little girl anymore.
Castle: Thank you, mother. I think if Alexis were in love she would've told me.
Martha: Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. The fact that she hasn't told you is how we know it's real.
Castle: [Warningly] Mother.
Martha: Okay. And the fact that she mentioned it to me last night.
Castle: Who is he? Where did she meet him?
Martha: Oh, I don't know. She wouldn't say. No, diva's honour. She didn't tell me anything. She didn't even tell me his name.
Castle: [Sulkily] Can't believe she told you and not me. I'm supposed to be her go-to guy.
Martha: Oh, darling, of course you are. It's just, you know, it's first love. It's magical, ethereal. It defies logic.
[Castle's phone rings. He ignores it, still sulking]
Martha: Richard, your phone.
Castle: [He shrugs] Mmm.
Martha: [Picks it up] Ah, Beckett. Maybe it's a nice murder, darling. Brighten your day.
[Castle starts to smile]
Martha: Good boy.
Castle: [Answers] Castle.

Castle: You don't think Fletcher's telling Jerry the truth?
Beckett: That he's suddenly a con-man with a heart of gold? No. That's just another con.
Castle: Wait, you don't think people can change?
Beckett: No. I've seen too many repeat offenders to believe for one second that a guy who promises never to beat his wife again actually won't.
Castle: That's a pretty bleak attitude.
Beckett: Not bleak - realistic.

Castle: You know, Ryan, none of this is your fault. The fact that he used your gun...
Kevin Ryan: That weapon was issued to me by the city of New York. I let it out of my hand, and now a girl is dead. So please do not tell me that it's not my fault.

Castle: You know, we might wanna swing down by the museum, see if any of his colleagues can shed some light on who might wanna drop a gargoyle on Medina's head.
Beckett: Either you are being a good cop or you just wanna go to the museum.
Castle: They have dinosaurs there!
Beckett: [Chuckles] Let's go.

Castle: You look good.
Beckett: You look good too... for murder!

Castle: You want me to put on some music? Whenever they do this sort of thing on CSI, they always do it to music in poorly lit rooms. Kinda reminds me of porn.

Castle: You were a girl once.
Beckett: [Smirks] Still am...
Castle: [Holding up a picture of Alexis sitting on a Vespa ] Can you tell me why my daughter wants one of these so badly?
Beckett: Old bikes are what girls want when we realize we're never gonna get a pony.

Castle: [holding a DVD] Wait! That's it? I mean, no pomp? No circumstance? What's on this could shape the foundations of our very existence. We need to pause and savor-
Beckett: [taking the DVD] Please, let's just stick it in and get this over with.