Boston Legal quotes
442 total quotes[At the office costume party. Alan is dressed as Shirley Schmidt.]
Paul: What's it like being Shirley?
Alan: The thong is a little uncomfortable.
Paul: What's it like being Shirley?
Alan: The thong is a little uncomfortable.
[Before their wrestling match]
Alan: Shouldn't we pee in a cup first? I don't trust his testosterone levels.
Denny: Mine's naturally high.
Alan: Shouldn't we pee in a cup first? I don't trust his testosterone levels.
Denny: Mine's naturally high.
[Bethany is pinching Denny's ear]
Denny: It's sexual this ear pinch.
Bethany: Yes. Pinching the ear gives you blood flow. When's the last time you got that without taking a pill?
Denny: It's sexual this ear pinch.
Bethany: Yes. Pinching the ear gives you blood flow. When's the last time you got that without taking a pill?
[Denny spots Claire for the first time]
Denny: Well, well, well, well, well. If you're a client, I'll get you off; if you're not... the offer's still there.
Claire: Okay, ick... and double ick.
Denny: Well, well, well, well, well. If you're a client, I'll get you off; if you're not... the offer's still there.
Claire: Okay, ick... and double ick.
[Discussing a case concerning cannibals]
Shirley: Because this case is disgusting, it's distasteful, it's repugnant...
Alan: Everything I stand for.
Shirley: I'll drive.
Alan: Shirley, is this about getting in a room with me?
Shirley: [sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
Shirley: Because this case is disgusting, it's distasteful, it's repugnant...
Alan: Everything I stand for.
Shirley: I'll drive.
Alan: Shirley, is this about getting in a room with me?
Shirley: [sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
[During an office meeting about a costume party]
Brad: This is so high school.
Paul: As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?
Brad: I won.
Jeffrey: Did not!
Paul: Shut up!
Brad: This is so high school.
Paul: As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?
Brad: I won.
Jeffrey: Did not!
Paul: Shut up!
[In court]
Judge Sanders: Hold on just one second; are you a midget?
Bethany: Are you an imbecile?
Judge Sanders: Uh...objection!
Denny: Sustained.
Judge Sanders: Hold on just one second; are you a midget?
Bethany: Are you an imbecile?
Judge Sanders: Uh...objection!
Denny: Sustained.
[Looking at Denny's date's picture]
Alan: Denny, she looks young. Does she know that you're... not?
Alan: Denny, she looks young. Does she know that you're... not?
[Melissa walks in on Alan and Marlene having sex in the photocopying room]
Alan: We're developing pictures.
Marlene: We're photography buffs.
Alan: We're developing pictures.
Marlene: We're photography buffs.
[On the balcony]
Jerry: When I was in law school, my dream wasn't so much the big trial as... well, I guess this. Having a drink at the end of the day with co-counsel, battle-weary, rehashing the day, discussing strategy. The whole socialization of lawyering that... well, until now, I've never experienced. It's a rich feeling, whatever it is.
Alan: It's called friendship.
[Jerry nods]
Alan: To friendship, my colleague.
[They click glasses in a toast]
Jerry: When I was in law school, my dream wasn't so much the big trial as... well, I guess this. Having a drink at the end of the day with co-counsel, battle-weary, rehashing the day, discussing strategy. The whole socialization of lawyering that... well, until now, I've never experienced. It's a rich feeling, whatever it is.
Alan: It's called friendship.
[Jerry nods]
Alan: To friendship, my colleague.
[They click glasses in a toast]
[Renee and Alan run into each other]
Renee: My apologies.
Alan: Renee, looking well.
Renee: I'm glad. It's a goal.
Alan: Coping okay with your...tragic loss?
Renee: My apologies.
Alan: Renee, looking well.
Renee: I'm glad. It's a goal.
Alan: Coping okay with your...tragic loss?
[Bethany is nervous and breathing hard]
Brad: [to Denny] She okay? She's panting like a dog.
Bethany: [angrily] I heard that!
Brad: [to Denny] She okay? She's panting like a dog.
Bethany: [angrily] I heard that!