Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons  
Season 1
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Judge Hingham: You want children to sit in the lap of a ho-mo-sexual?
Alan: Technically Judge I think Homosexual is just one word.
(Later in the episode when Alan is closing Judge Hingham says ho-mo-sexual again)

Julio Flores: You Alan Shore?
Alan: Not if you're a process server

Little Orphan Annie's Mom: She's earned this, Mr. Shore.
Alan: I have no doubt. But you realize producers do have discretion in the art of casting - strikes me as a very inexact science.

Lori: And what exactly is your defense?
Alan: Something like let him go even though he did it.
Lori: Jury nullification?
Alan: Best I can tell, though Shirley hasn't really filled me in.
Shirley: Talking about me?
Alan: Yes Shirley. If you so enjoy keeping me in the dark, you really should give me a try��in the dark.

Lori: Wait, this firm is actually going to help Milton Bombay be put on ice?
Catherine: Oh, come now Lori. You of all people should know it's not so bad to go through life as a popsicle.

Lori: What are you doing out here?
Shirley: Just looking at the city. Still trying to fathom that-
Lori: The Red Sox won?

Sally: What could I possibly say in my closing? I've got nothing.
Alan: Rabbit.
Sally: I'm sorry?
Alan: Pull a rabbit out from under your dress.

Shirley: He is ultimately a benign man who we all happen to care about, including you. I think what you really mean to do is voice your concern unofficially.
Lori: I'm making an official complaint. If there's forms to be filled out please have them sent to my office. [walks away]
Shirley: You little bitch.
Season Two

Shirley: I know you recently retired. Is this...
Milton: And please do not proffer psychological counsel. I came in here in search of legal and intellectual acuity.
Shirley: And you sought out Denny?

Shirley: Milton, I consider you a friend. Actually I don't, I find you a bit boorish...

Tara: Nymphomania?
Shirley: Anything you can find. And we'll need to line up an expert who can testify, possibly as soon as tomorrow.
Brad: It's not a real disease. It's an excuse offered up by sex perv sickos.
Shirley: Yes, Brad. Thank you for that.
Lori: It's also a sexist diagnosis, as well as bogus. If a man was running around trying to schtup everything he could, we wouldn't say that he had a disease. We would just call him��
Denny: [entering, uttering his signature line] Denny Crane.
Shirley: Exactly.

Warren: That's it? Two questions. That was your cross?
Lori: I didn't have much to cross him with, Warren.
Warren: Then what was the point of your questions? Tell me that.
Lori: I was trying to establish that you were coerced. The judge doesn't shock easily but maybe the jury does.
Warren: Oh, I see; you were going for shock value. Well, maybe you could've really gone for it and asked three questions.