Boston Legal quotes

442 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4   Season 5  



Brad: Feel free to mock me all you want, but don't you dare ridicule our troops.
Alan: Just so I'm clear, I should feel free to mock you.

Brad: I outrank you.
Alan: And I'm such a slut for authority.

Brad: I was wondering if I could join you and Denny on the balcony sometime. Just trying to diversify my life with some male bonding and I was wondering...you know.
Alan: Brad, any gathering of three or more men always seems like a team to me, and I've never been much of a team player, so if you're going to show count me out. [pauses] Was there something specific you'd like to talk about?
Brad: Are you a good kisser?

Brad: Okay. We're required to turn this over to Ms. Beller and, per the rules of discovery, we'll provide it with the other one hundred thousand pages of documents that pertain to their production request.
Chris Mott: So you're going to bury it.
Brad: No, that would be unethical. We'll simply comply�� fully.

Brad: Shock and awe, boys, shock and awe.

Brad: You need to stand up and deliver this closing.
Alan: Will the clown be there?

Brian Stevens: Motion for continuance is denied.
Denny: You know what I'm going to do, Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings? I'm going to sleep with your wife.

Cassie: [to Garrett] I screw. I just don't date.

Cassie: I don't want to have sex with you anymore. [pauses] So there we are.
Garrett: There we are.

Catherine: [to Alan] Thank you. Baretta said that to his attorney. It brought him luck.

Catherine: [to Bernie] What are ya going to do? Whack me on the head?

Catherine: Alan! Hello!
Alan: Mrs. Piper?
Catherine: You remember! Ha, ha. Oh, I always say, "Shake a man's hand with dog poop on your glove, he'll remember you for life."

Catherine: Alan, I've been Schmidt-canned!

Catherine: Isn't coffee a lovely drug? I love brain stimulants, don't you? Uh, Catherine Piper!
Brad: Brad Chase.
Catherine: Brad Chase? You're defending a lesbian!
Lori: Hi! I'm Lori Colson, we haven't officially met.
Catherine: Hello, dear. Catherine Piper.
Lori: For the future, I don't really appreciate comments about my hair.
Catherine: Oh! I'm sorry. I was just trying to make conversation. And I assumed you wouldn't want me to go anywhere near your eyebrows.

Catherine: Piper: All I'm saying is if you killed two people and if you're as alone as you say, there couldn't be a
better time for you to turn to Jesus Christ, your Savior.