[Bob walks into the diner]
Bob: You guys aren't gonna believe what just happened! I just came from the gym-
Jake Malinak: The gym!? I thought the judge said you couldn't go back there!
Bob: That was the old gym! Anyway, I'm standing in front of this big window, watching an abs and ass class, when suddenly, they wheel some guy by with a sheet over his head!
Jake Malinak: Was he dead?
Bob: [sarcastically] No, he was in a Halloween costume. Yeah, he was dead! Anway, the poor schmuck keeled over on the treadmill. [worried] He was in his thirties, just like me! I mean, you spend years building a life-wife, kids, career- then one day, it's over!
Jake Malinak: Well, you got nothing to worry about; you got none of those things! [cackles]
Bob: Neither do you! [Jake abruptly stops laughing]

[doing a word association test]
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Dog.
Dr. John Becker: Leave.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Tree.
Dr. John Becker: Me.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Man.
Dr. John Becker: Alone.
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Hey!

[Fred is in John's apartment, trying to get his son to talk to him and going about it as if it were a sales pitch]
John Becker: [annoyed] Cut the crap, will you!? I'm not a customer; I'm your son! I don't wanna joke, I don't want a pen! Every few years, you show up and we do this ridiculous little dance! You wanna talk to me, talk to me!
Fred Becker: What do you want to talk about?
John Becker: No, no, no, no! This time, we're really gonna talk!...I was eleven years old. Why'd you leave?
Fred Becker: [solemn] Ok, Johnny. Here it is; your mother and I were completely wrong for each other. All we ever did was argue. It got to the place where I took any kind of a job, just to get out of town. Your mother finally got fed up and...told me to keep going.
John Becker: I didn't ask you to leave! I didn't argue with you, why didn't you at least come back and see me!?
Fred Becker: Because your mother asked me not to. [John looks stunned] You didn't know that, did you? And yes, I could've insisted I have a bigger part in your life, but I didn't. I took the easy way out and I regret it.
John Becker: [shocked] She asked you to---?
Fred Becker: Don't blame her; she was afraid I'd be a bad influence on you. [chuckles] Back in those days, she wasn't entirely wrong. I was...[pause] I took time to look in on you now and again; I saw one of your high school basketball games and...I was there when you graduated from med school.
John Becker: I know. I saw you. What was with the lime-green leisure suit?
Fred Becker: It was the 70's! Give me a break!

[Linda stands up with a post-it note stuck on her forehead]
Linda: I had a message for Margaret but I can't find it.
Dr. John Becker: Was it to tell her Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, it's like you read my mind.
Dr. John Becker: Some are easier than others.
[Becker walks away and Margaret comes in]
Linda: I have a message for you.
Margaret: Was it to tell me Mrs. Cooper called?
Linda: Wow, you people are freakin' scary.
[Linda goes in the back]
Dr. John Becker: I won't tell her if you won't tell her.

[Linda walks into the diner]
Linda: Reggie, hi! Gimme a coffee and a muffin, quick: I have to get to the office before Dr Becker! If I'm even half a second late, the bug up his butt grabs the stick up his butt and beats me with it!
Becker [behind her]: Morning, Linda!

[Linda wants to rename the exam rooms A, B and C and put the patients in them according to the letter of their ailment]
Dr. John Becker: There are three exams rooms, that's only A, B and C. What if someone comes in with, oh, I don't know, "M" for "migraine"?
Linda: Headache, "A" for ache.
Dr. John Becker: Pregnancy?
Dr. John Becker': "B" for baby.
Dr. John Becker: X-ray?
Linda: "C" for see-through.

[Melvin, Vinny's Lawyer asked Margaret a question after she had sworn the truth on the bible]
Margaret: Was that a real bible?
[talking to Becker]
Margaret: I'm sorry, John, I have to tell the truth.
Dr. John Becker: [pointing to the jury] You know they can hear you?

[Reggie's diner has been robbed]
Dr. John Becker: Well, maybe this is a good sign. I mean, who would want to rob this place? Maybe they've finally run out of places to rob, and crime will finally stop in New York. I mean, what could they possibly rob next?
[pause]
Dr. John Becker: Oh, dear God, my apartment!

[to Liz]
Dr. John Becker: All right, I'm sorry.
[Reggie gasps]
Dr. John Becker: Oh, shut up.

[Watching a TV program]
Becker: Oh please! She's no doctor! She's no writer, hell, she's not even a real blonde!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Come on, Becker! How could you know anything about her!?
Becker: She's my ex-wife!
Regina "Reggie" Kostas: GET OUT OF HERE! She's your ex-wife? Jake, you gotta see this!
Jake Malinak: Blind!