American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: [alone in the attic] Things that are getting fat. Things that might be wrong, and Roger might be right. Things that should buck up! Things that will be proven right in the end! Aw, things that are just kidding themselves. Things that are useless. Things that are getting soft! Things that are stupid, dumb stupid-heads! Things that miss being needed. Things that need more wine to make the pain go away! [crying]
Stan: [bending antennas on TV in anger] Murderer! You killed my son!
Steve: I'm still alive, Dad.
Stan: Yes, but you're dead inside.
Steve: I'm still alive, Dad.
Stan: Yes, but you're dead inside.
Stan: [fighting a stripper in a Bo-Peep outfit] Hey Bo-Peep, I know where you can find your sheep, in hell!
Stan: [gets in the passenger side of a car] Stan Smith, CIA! To the Smithsonian! Oh wait, this my car. [shifts over to the driver's side] Even better!
Stan: [Reading the instructions, trying to make Mac&Cheese] Hmm... Boil water. What am I? A CHEMIST?!
Steve: [Talking To Barry] You gonna use your diaper? Kinda floating over here.
Barry: Sure let me just [Screams] Sorry ocupodo.
Steve: [Talking To Barry] You gonna use your diaper? Kinda floating over here.
Barry: Sure let me just [Screams] Sorry ocupodo.
Stan: [talking about euthanising a racoon] She said it was the most compassionate thing she'd ever seen.... And I got to kill something. It was a magical moment.
Stan: All right, everyone stay calm. We may be in Saudi Arabia, but it doesn't mean we have to panic or blame your mother.
Stan: Francine, when I look at your hair I doubt I could eat the amount I wanna vomit.
Stan: How could you let Hayley do this?!
Jeff: Do what?
Stan: Don't play dumb! You know she's stripping. Showing people her Ho Hos, her Ding Dongs, her Suzie Q's, her...her...uh...aw, God, what...what are those called...? Those little, uh... pink with coconut...? They're really good....
Jeff: Her Sno-Balls?
Stan: You bastard!
Jeff: Do what?
Stan: Don't play dumb! You know she's stripping. Showing people her Ho Hos, her Ding Dongs, her Suzie Q's, her...her...uh...aw, God, what...what are those called...? Those little, uh... pink with coconut...? They're really good....
Jeff: Her Sno-Balls?
Stan: You bastard!
Stan: I got the promotion, Francine!
Francine: Yes, but you lost my respect. You're not the man I married.
Stan: And you're not the man I married!
Francine: That doesn't make any sense.
Stan: It doesn't have to. I got a promotion!
Francine: Yes, but you lost my respect. You're not the man I married.
Stan: And you're not the man I married!
Francine: That doesn't make any sense.
Stan: It doesn't have to. I got a promotion!
Stan: I'm find us a satellite so we can watch Lost when I get home. Just because we're stuck in this wasteland doesn't mean it's not Wednesday!
Stan: It's clear what must be done. We have to burn the school to the ground!
Francine: Stan!
Stan: Fine, fine. We'll talk to the principal. [Francine walks off. He takes out a lighter] Soon, my pet. Soon I will feed you the world.
Francine: Stan!
Stan: Fine, fine. We'll talk to the principal. [Francine walks off. He takes out a lighter] Soon, my pet. Soon I will feed you the world.
Stan: Man, I'm getting hungry. Hey, let's go dig up your mother so she can make us breakfast!