American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: Stop! You can't marry this woman!
Principal Lewis: Wachoo talkin' bout, Stan?
Principal Lewis: Wachoo talkin' bout, Stan?
Stan: That bathroom is amazing. A gold toilet? And I can't believe you have a servant just to wipe your butt.
Rusty: Um, I don't...
Stan: Oh, explains the attitude and why he did such a a slapdash job.
Rusty: Um, I don't...
Stan: Oh, explains the attitude and why he did such a a slapdash job.
Stan: That's nice, guys. Okay, Matt Damon and Lucy Liu, you're next. Oh, look at the little guy. It's Dad's A-list then it's Mom's B-list; so it's a B-plus right off the bat.
Stan: The point is is you wanna get anywhere in life, you'll have to join the wrestling team.
Steve: Gee, Dad. That sounds great. Oh, no. The school doesn't have a wrestling program anymore. Aah, squigglebottom!
Stan: What? I am outraged!
Roger: Well, take your outraged elsewhere. I have another group coming through. We'll exit through the gift shop [they walk over to the counter and he takes out a CD] Make sure to check out our Stan Smith: Pan Flute Rain Forest Music [pan flute plays] Each song sounds the same. It somehow manages to be worse than the less.
Steve: Gee, Dad. That sounds great. Oh, no. The school doesn't have a wrestling program anymore. Aah, squigglebottom!
Stan: What? I am outraged!
Roger: Well, take your outraged elsewhere. I have another group coming through. We'll exit through the gift shop [they walk over to the counter and he takes out a CD] Make sure to check out our Stan Smith: Pan Flute Rain Forest Music [pan flute plays] Each song sounds the same. It somehow manages to be worse than the less.
Stan: There is one person I would like to thank... [Francine stands up] Karl Rove! [wolf howls while Francine looks down in disappointment] Karl, come up here.
[Karl moves into the church doorway and he begins to emit smoke, screaming in pain. He then stands back.]
Karl: I'm good here. My work is done! [transforms into a swarm of bats and flies off]
[Karl moves into the church doorway and he begins to emit smoke, screaming in pain. He then stands back.]
Karl: I'm good here. My work is done! [transforms into a swarm of bats and flies off]
Stan: There was a Space War?
Roger: Space War?! No no. I fought in the Viet Cong in the late sixties. I've told you that story, right? Well the end of it is we won.
Roger: Space War?! No no. I fought in the Viet Cong in the late sixties. I've told you that story, right? Well the end of it is we won.
Stan: These wigs are fashioned after the most revered Republican first ladies of our time. [pointing out the various wigs] The Barbara Bush, the Nancy Reagan, the Maria Shriver.... [looks directly at the audience] Stay tuned.
Hayley: Those are terrible!
Stan: Hey, girls your age have to go through chemo to get a wig this nice!
Hayley: Those are terrible!
Stan: Hey, girls your age have to go through chemo to get a wig this nice!
Stan: This is great! We've gotta go back on tour and spread the word. Guns are good!
Hayley: What?!
Stan: Without guns I'd still be in a wheelchair. Guns heal the sick!
Hayley: What?!
Stan: Without guns I'd still be in a wheelchair. Guns heal the sick!
Stan: This is Sparta!
Roger: This is Sparta!
Stan: This is Sparta!
Roger: This is Sparta!
Jimmy: [off-screen] This is Sparta!
Roger: Shut up Jimmy, you don't know what we're doing!
Roger: This is Sparta!
Stan: This is Sparta!
Roger: This is Sparta!
Jimmy: [off-screen] This is Sparta!
Roger: Shut up Jimmy, you don't know what we're doing!
Stan: Too close to my mother?! How dare you! I'm all she's got!
Roger: Yeah, Francine, it's the man's mother, for God's sake! What is wrong with her?
Francine: But you were the one who said we should talk to him!
Roger: Yeah, about the possibility of switching from cable to dish! I didn't know I was gonna get dragged into your psychodrama! I vote dish, by the way.
Roger: Yeah, Francine, it's the man's mother, for God's sake! What is wrong with her?
Francine: But you were the one who said we should talk to him!
Roger: Yeah, about the possibility of switching from cable to dish! I didn't know I was gonna get dragged into your psychodrama! I vote dish, by the way.
Stan: Well, I'd rather be acting crazy than feeling crazy. That's good, Stan. I'm gonna write that down when we land. Oh, already forgot it.
Stan: Well, if you're ever taken hostage by, say, a neighbor, and you end up on Al Jazeera, just blink your coordinates in Morse code, like this [blinks quickly as an example] and I'll have a bomb dropped on your location.
Steve: But then I'd be dead.
Stan: Oh, c'mon, sport, there are plenty of kids in heaven to play with. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist....Well she must be at least sixteen by now. You could totally hit that!
Steve: But then I'd be dead.
Stan: Oh, c'mon, sport, there are plenty of kids in heaven to play with. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist....Well she must be at least sixteen by now. You could totally hit that!
Stan: What is this?
Roger: Your dream restaurant. Roger's Laotian Adventure.
Stan: What about my scale model?
Roger: Stan, it took quite a bit of doing...but I managed to wipe my butt with it.
Roger: Your dream restaurant. Roger's Laotian Adventure.
Stan: What about my scale model?
Roger: Stan, it took quite a bit of doing...but I managed to wipe my butt with it.
Stan: What makes you think you're going to survive?
Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments.
Stan: So explain that cold sore.
Roger: Mind your own business!
Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments.
Stan: So explain that cold sore.
Roger: Mind your own business!