American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: Look, honey, I'll make you a deal, you don't marry Jeff, and I won't bake you a roofie cake and tie your fallopians in a square knot.
Stan: Man, I can't believe I survived a shot to the head.
Klaus: Well, the doctor says you'll have some memory loss, but I'll be by your side through every step of your recovery, my friend.
Stan: Who's the talking fish?
Klaus: Well, the doctor says you'll have some memory loss, but I'll be by your side through every step of your recovery, my friend.
Stan: Who's the talking fish?
Stan: Man, I'm getting hungry. Hey, let's go dig up your mother so she can make us breakfast!
Stan: Nobody threatens my family. Now, get out of the way or I'll shoot you all.
Hayley: Oh, God, it's my junior prom all over again.
Hayley: Oh, God, it's my junior prom all over again.
Stan: None of us get to choose our fathers, but we do get to choose our father figures. I chose my mother. That set me back a bit.
Season 3
Season 3
Stan: Oh, and the piercings and vacuum are gone by tomorrow or this hole becomes your graves.
Stan: Oh, I invited the fellows over for a feast after work so I figured you could whip something up. Or as they say in this country, [clap clap]
Francine: Forget it! You may have me locked up in this house but I control what I do in it. Or as they say in my country, [finger snaps]
Francine: Forget it! You may have me locked up in this house but I control what I do in it. Or as they say in my country, [finger snaps]
Stan: Oh, I tell a great story and I'm a liar, but Harry Potter does it and he's your favorite writer.
Stan: Oh, my God! Roger is my hero!
(Roger is asleep on the hotel bed. He wakes up and finds Stan sitting across from him)
Roger: Stan, who the hell are you talking to? Are you just sitting in the dark watching me? Oh God, were you yanking it over my sleeping form? Oh you sick -- (notices lipstick marks all over his body): What the? (pulls back the covers to reveal a naked, sleeping fat woman): You always get what you want, doncha, Helen? Bravo.
(Stan grabs the Olympic gold medal from Roger at the hostel)
(Roger is asleep on the hotel bed. He wakes up and finds Stan sitting across from him)
Roger: Stan, who the hell are you talking to? Are you just sitting in the dark watching me? Oh God, were you yanking it over my sleeping form? Oh you sick -- (notices lipstick marks all over his body): What the? (pulls back the covers to reveal a naked, sleeping fat woman): You always get what you want, doncha, Helen? Bravo.
(Stan grabs the Olympic gold medal from Roger at the hostel)
Stan: Oh, son. Every day with you is like a punch in the nads.
(Stan is in Roger's hotel room, still in awe that Roger was part of the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" Olympic hockey team)
(Stan is in Roger's hotel room, still in awe that Roger was part of the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" Olympic hockey team)
Stan: Once we were foes lockin a death stuggle now he works for me. Stalin's up in heaven cryin' his eyes out.
Stan: Pen-gun, mightier than the sword.
Stan: [holding sword, blade folds to reveal a barrel] Sword-gun, mightier than the pen-gun.
Stan: [holding sword, blade folds to reveal a barrel] Sword-gun, mightier than the pen-gun.
Stan: Quick!, cover your mouth. Thats how they enter your body to lay their eggs
Stan: Roger's a dirty cop. He's been on the force for three hours!
(Roger is crying over not being strong and begs Stan to help him)
(Roger is crying over not being strong and begs Stan to help him)