American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesStan: I always knew this day would come. Except I'd be hearing it from my son and not an alien in a sports bra.
Roger (sobbing): It's a support tank. It's too small. It rode up my belly.
(Roger takes his first police academy exam and fails it)
Roger (sobbing): It's a support tank. It's too small. It rode up my belly.
(Roger takes his first police academy exam and fails it)
Stan: I can't believe you're still upset. It's been a week.
Francine: You called me a pig.
Stan: I didn't say you were a pig. I said that dress made you look like a pig. And those shoes didn't help. All your fat, sweaty toes shoved in there like 20 Hondurans stuffed in a giant... shoe.
Francine: You called me a pig.
Stan: I didn't say you were a pig. I said that dress made you look like a pig. And those shoes didn't help. All your fat, sweaty toes shoved in there like 20 Hondurans stuffed in a giant... shoe.
Stan: I got the promotion, Francine!
Francine: Yes, but you lost my respect. You're not the man I married.
Stan: And you're not the man I married!
Francine: That doesn't make any sense.
Stan: It doesn't have to. I got a promotion!
Francine: Yes, but you lost my respect. You're not the man I married.
Stan: And you're not the man I married!
Francine: That doesn't make any sense.
Stan: It doesn't have to. I got a promotion!
Stan: I hate the last day of camp. You better write me when you get home, H-Rod.
Hot Rod: We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything.
Stan: Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. (steps on soapbox; to the camera) Just like the rest of the world. Shame on you!
Hot Rod: We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything.
Stan: Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. (steps on soapbox; to the camera) Just like the rest of the world. Shame on you!
Stan: I hope my son is still about to be molested! I need a half price ticket.
Ticket Man: I'm sorry, I cant accept a full can. It has to be empty.
[Stan chugs the soda]
Stan: [panting] Polar bears... shouldn't give this... to their babies!
Ticket Man: I'm sorry, I cant accept a full can. It has to be empty.
[Stan chugs the soda]
Stan: [panting] Polar bears... shouldn't give this... to their babies!
Stan: I'm find us a satellite so we can watch Lost when I get home. Just because we're stuck in this wasteland doesn't mean it's not Wednesday!
Stan: I'm gonna go hit the juice bar, you wouldn't like it. It's not about living out childhood abuse through degrading sexual encounters; it's more about juice.
Stan: I'm having a spiritual crisis. What do you do when your best friend doesn't believe in God?
Father Donovan: Well, Stan, we're hardly best friends.
Father Donovan: Well, Stan, we're hardly best friends.
Stan: If I had died in that crash today, who would remember me?
Francine: I would.
Stan: That's right. Nobody.
(Stan reunites with his kids and hugs them)
Francine: I would.
Stan: That's right. Nobody.
(Stan reunites with his kids and hugs them)
Stan: It was nice of Steve to acknowledge us this week. Even if it was just this one time.
Stan: It's clear what must be done. We have to burn the school to the ground!
Francine: Stan!
Stan: Fine, fine. We'll talk to the principal. [Francine walks off. He takes out a lighter] Soon, my pet. Soon I will feed you the world.
Francine: Stan!
Stan: Fine, fine. We'll talk to the principal. [Francine walks off. He takes out a lighter] Soon, my pet. Soon I will feed you the world.
Stan: Let go of me! This is stupid!
Roger: [as a psychiatrist] You're stupid! I'm sorry, that was unprofessional. I've been a bit consumed with one of my other patients. He's a complicated teenaged drug addict who's being molested... by me.
Roger: [as a psychiatrist] You're stupid! I'm sorry, that was unprofessional. I've been a bit consumed with one of my other patients. He's a complicated teenaged drug addict who's being molested... by me.
Stan: Lies. It's like you have to lie to live. You're a lie-abetic. You have lie-abetes. Twice a day, you have to take a shot of insu-lyin'.