3rd Rock from the Sun quotes

195 total quotes


Mr Randell: Well, uh, the truth is that, uh, I think Tommy could do a lot better.
Dick: Be careful sir. You're talking about the creature I've come to think of as my son.

Mrs. Dubcek: He's got teeth coming in.
Harry: Well, don't worry; we'll sign for them.

Mrs. Dubcek: Poor kid. I remember what it's like to be your age.
Tommy: I remember what it's like to be yours.

Nina: Where's Dr. Albright?
Tommy: Well, we're not sure, but we think she's having sex with Dick in an unknown location.
Nina: Oh my God, what is she thinking?
Tommy: What's she thinking? What is he thinking?
Nina: Okay, can we just agree they're both freaks?
Tommy: Yeah!

Nina: You know, this is the only time of year I like White music.

Nina: You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you?
Dick: For the thousandth time, YES!

Nina: I knew you had a thing for her.
Dick: Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her without her permission.

Officer Don: Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.
Tommy: Isn't that the plot to The Lion King?

Officer Don: Here, sign this.
Eddie: What is it?
Officer Don: Oh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing in arresting you without reason and without any evidence. It's standard.

Officer Don: Sally, I'm a cop. I've got keen instincts. And right now, my instincts are telling me that... I don't know what the hell is going on.

Officer Don: The F.B.I. are coming into town tomorrow.
Dick: What for?
Officer Don: That's classified.
Tommy: You have no idea, do you?
[pause]
Officer Don: That's also classified.

Officer Don You have to have insurance!
Dick: Why? It's just a bet against myself! The only way I can win my money back is by getting horribly injured.

Patty Muller: I don't envy you having to take care of three men; I only got Frank and he's a full-time job. Just once, I'd like to see that man pick up a sock.
Sally: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
Sally: [deadpan] I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
Patty Muller: [after a beat] You know, I'd like to see that myself.
Sally: You let me know.

Pitman: We all came into this world naked.
Dick: Well, I didn't.

Randy: I think you're Harry.
Harry: Well, I think you're hairy!