3rd Rock from the Sun quotes
195 total quotes[Dick wants to tell Mary that he's an alien, but the others forbid it]
Sally: Well fine, but let it be on your own head!
Tommy: Which will probably be sitting next to our heads on a tray somewhere in New Mexico!
Sally: Well fine, but let it be on your own head!
Tommy: Which will probably be sitting next to our heads on a tray somewhere in New Mexico!
[Don is telling a story]
Officer Don: And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.
Season 4
Officer Don: And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.
Season 4
[filling out tax forms]
Dick: Line 14, "other gains or losses."
Tommy: I gained two pounds.
Sally: I lost my virginity.
Dick: Line 14, "other gains or losses."
Tommy: I gained two pounds.
Sally: I lost my virginity.
[Frank and Dick have had a fight]
Dick: Why are you suddenly so civil?
Frank Muller: Now we know each other's boundaries. You know my limits, I know your limits, so now we can respect each other.
Tommy: Wait, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to gain each other's respect, you had to resort to violent confrontations. Now doesn't that strike you as stupid?
Frank Muller: [after a beat] Kids, huh?
Dick: They don't understand the world.
Dick: Why are you suddenly so civil?
Frank Muller: Now we know each other's boundaries. You know my limits, I know your limits, so now we can respect each other.
Tommy: Wait, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to gain each other's respect, you had to resort to violent confrontations. Now doesn't that strike you as stupid?
Frank Muller: [after a beat] Kids, huh?
Dick: They don't understand the world.
[Harry explains how he's reorganized the movies at Gung-Ho Videos]
Harry: [refers to one rack] Good movies. [refers to another rack] Bad movies. [refers to the rest of the room] Movies I haven't seen.
Harry: [refers to one rack] Good movies. [refers to another rack] Bad movies. [refers to the rest of the room] Movies I haven't seen.
[Harry has taken over Tommy's job as Information Officer]
Dick: Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place--
Harry: W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find...
Dick: Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find---
Harry: W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find...
Dick: Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?
Harry: Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.
Dick: Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place--
Harry: W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find...
Dick: Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find---
Harry: W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find...
Dick: Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?
Harry: Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.
[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
Harry: NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
Harry: NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.
[Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
Harry: Here's a job I could do; "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march over to the police station and tell them that I'm the man they're looking for!
Harry: Here's a job I could do; "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march over to the police station and tell them that I'm the man they're looking for!
[Harry is watching "Looney Tunes" and Tommy wants a ride from him]
Tommy: I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.
Harry: Okay, you're on. I've seem this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.
Tommy: I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.
Harry: Okay, you're on. I've seem this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.
[Harry is working at a video store]
Customer: Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?
Harry: Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!
Customer: Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?
Harry: Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!
[Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.]
Nina: What's this?
Harry: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
Nina: You left me twenty bucks?
Harry: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
Nina: Going rate?!
Harry: Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.
Nina: What's this?
Harry: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
Nina: You left me twenty bucks?
Harry: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
Nina: Going rate?!
Harry: Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.
[Harry, with a camera, sneaks up behind August in school to get a photo of her]
August (noticing Harry): Harry?
Harry: I am not Harry.
August: What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?
Harry: What camera?
August (noticing Harry): Harry?
Harry: I am not Harry.
August: What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?
Harry: What camera?
[in his classroom]
Dick: Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!
Dick: Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!
[Jury selection]
Prosecuting lawyer: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper?
Dick: Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it!
Prosecuting lawyer: He's fine with me.
Defense lawyer: Me, too.
Prosecuting lawyer: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper?
Dick: Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it!
Prosecuting lawyer: He's fine with me.
Defense lawyer: Me, too.
[Looking at himself and a picture of himself and Harrison Ford]
Dick: Oh my god! I'm hideous!
Dick: Oh my god! I'm hideous!