Xena: I'm warning you, Tataka, get out while you still can.
Tataka (in Gabrielle's body): And give up this face and this firm, strong body? Not a chance.

Xena: If I run now, I'll be running forever.
Gabrielle: Well, it beats being dead.

Xena: If the titans caught her we could be facing thousands by now. On the bright side if anyone can stall it's Gabrielle.

Xena: It's about time you clipped his (Baby Bliss) wings.
Cupid: Yeah, well, I was a little tied up.

Xena: It's alright, he just wants out.
Borias: Soon, soon I will see my son and I can name him.
Xena: And you can take him from me. What about us?
Borias: There is very little left of 'us' anymore, Xena. The only reason our two armies haven't crossed blades is because of a common purpose.
Xena: And what would that be? It certainly isn't Corinth, you can't convince me of that. No, there's only one reason why you stayed. You want to take this away from me.
Borias: As any father would. If my son stays here he'll become a target for your enemies. He'll see things a child should not see, and ...
Xena: He'll become like me.

Xena: It's easy to preach peace when you live in heaven. Where is come from you gotta fight for what you believe in. Why don't you come along. It's not everyday that you get to witness the twilight of the gods. It should be a good show.

Xena: It's impossible, i cannot be pregnant. If you weren't such a quack,you'd know that getting pregnant requires certain physical requirements that I haven't have for a long time... I'm talking a very long time. no one, zilch, zippo, I'm a love-free zone, therefore it is utterly impossible that I be UP-THE-DUFF! So what's you're diagnosis now?
Physician: Mood swings! (Xena lets him go and he falls over)
Xena: I thought so!

Xena: It's not easy trying to prove you're a different person.

Xena: It's not the Fates, it's not Ares, it's not something I ate, no, I have no poison dart marks, I have no Bacchae bites!
Joxer: Is that a hickey?

Xena: It's strange... The one I love most in all the world and the one I hate look exactly the same.

Xena: Joxer, never pie a pregnant woman!

Xena: JUMP!
Gabrielle: If I die I'm never talking to you again!
(Gabby jumps from Argo to chariot.)
Xena: You call that a jump??
Gabrielle: No, it was a frantic leap...best I could do.

Xena: Looking for this? Now I want some straight answers.
Miss Artifice: you've got the wrong girl. Okay, okay, I was just kidding where's you're sense of humor?
Xena: Gee, I must have sweated it out. That you idea of funny too?
Artifice: I was just trying to scare you.
Xena: Why did you want to scare me?
Artifice: because I knew you knew. You know about me. And I didn't want you telling anyone. But when I came back to unlock the door, you had already gone.
Xena: What made you think I would tell.
Artifice: You really don't get it do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn't. This is a chance for me to use a part of me most people usually laugh at. Or worse. The part I usually have to hide. Only here, that part works for me, see?
Xena: I don't think so.
Artifice: Look, I don't expect you to understand. And I'm sorry I got you steamed, I just hope you'll let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.
Xena: No way. May the best person win.

Xena: Magmar told me that his boss has a big ego, almost as big as yours.
Autolycus: Nothing is as big as mine.

Xena: Mother, I am a lunatic with lethal combat skills.