Wallace: You better enjoy this, 'cause this is as nostalgic as I get. I just wanted to say, it was worth getting taped to a pole. I'm gonna miss you.
Veronica: And my stupid ass face?
...
Wallace: [walking away] This conversation never happened.
Veronica: Sure it did.

Wallace: You called your geometry teacher a jackass?
Veronica: That's totally taken out of context. Let me see it.

Wallace: You think it's a conspiracy?
Veronica: This is Neptune. Nothing happens accidentally.

Weevil: [to boss] Guess I'll wash some spoiled bitch's graduation gift from daddy, huh?
Veronica: I'm not spoiled, and uh, technically, it wasn't for graduation.
Weevil: What about the bitch part?
Veronica: That depends on who you ask. How are you, Weevil? I haven't seen you...
Weevil: Since that awkward arrested-for-murder incident? Yeah! I remember.
Veronica: You plea bargained down to assault?
Weevil: And now I'm working at the car wash. Which, as it turns out, is not as fun as the song might sound.

Weevil: Any big Halloween plans?
Veronica: Oh, you know, the usual: slapping on my sexy nurse duds and rolling tweeners for their chocolate.

Weevil: Damn girl!
Veronica: Hmm, iced tea. How very musical theater of you.

Weevil: I need your help.
Veronica: Ah, if I had fifty bucks every time someone said that.
Weevil: Look, I know it's a drag being you, and...
Veronica: No, seriously. I'm gonna need fifty bucks if you expect me to keep listening.
Weevil: Well, I'm banking on curiosity getting the better of you..
[Veronica hesitates a long time, then stamps her foot.]
Veronica: Alright tell me! Damn my curiosity!

Weevil: Is it your undying love for me, or just good old-fashioned lust?
Veronica: Que?
Weevil: That kept you from turning me in?
Veronica: [pauses] Love...of rollercoasters. And hatred of anything that requires me to tie a sweater over my shoulders and be at sea with my classmates... Nothing to do with you. [they both give a small smile to each other]

Weevil: Look, should I be expecting a visit from Lamb? If I know I'm being brought in, I'll put on my good underwear, you know?
Veronica: You should really do that anyway.

Weevil: Sometimes the girls get put off by this old motorcycle jacket thing. Do you think something in suede might make me seem more... accessible?

Weevil: This is pointless.
Beaver: [sighs] Okay, look, so you know quadratic equations, right?
Weevil: Do I look like someone who knows quadratic equations, huh?
Beaver: I'm just trying to see what you already know.
Weevil: Zero! You want your car fixed? Teach me.
Beaver: Okay, okay. All right, look, so this equation right here, what do you think we should do first?
Weevil: Am I a five-year-old girl, huh? Lay it out for me, dawg, c'mon! Make me understand.
Beaver: Okay, okay! Okay, so let's say that you and your buddy wanna buy a 12-pack of a certain item, say, like, uh, spark plugs for "X" dollars, and you wanna find out how many of another item, like, um, I dunno, like oil, that you can get for the same amount. Except oil is "Y" times as much -
Weevil: If this is your idea of terms I'll understand, I'm going to kill you. Or myself. It's a toss-up. Screw it, man. I'll just cheat.
Beaver: No, look... but what about my car?
Weevil: You know power buffers, right? Well, let's say your door panel is a summer home, right, and you need to clear out the south lawn to make a tennis court, so -
Mac: [from next table over] F-O-I-L. That's all it is. First, Outside, Inside, Last. All algebra - it's just the formula.
Weevil: Now can you teach me that?
Mac: You'll still fix his car?
Weevil: That's the deal.
Mac: Okay, say you and your buddy buy a 12-pack of spark plugs... [Weevil glares] I'm just kidding.

Weevil: Wait a minute. You went to a pet store and took a picture of yourself with a parrot so people would think you were cool?
Wilson: Yeah. All right?
Weevil: That's this close [uses thumb and finger to illustrate] to taking a hot cousin to your prom. Go home.

Weevil: Where did you guys even meet?
Molly: At church. St. Mary's.
Weevil: Of course. The only place the micks and the spics ever get together without someone getting punched.

Weevil: Yo, Martha. I heard you took a ride downtown behind the 187. So did you flop for the cops or did the local Wapner hook you up with some ankle bling?
Veronica: You know the deal, cuz. Every time some kitty cries in this town, one-time tries to put a call on me. Speaking of bling, what's up with the hoops? If I rub your head, do I get three wishes?
Weevil: You rub my head, and you might want to make seeing tomorrow your first wish.

Weevil: You believe me?
Veronica: How could I not when you're batting those maybelline lashes at me?