Sookie: What happened back there? Why were they all shiftin'? You almost shifted.
Alcide: Couldn't help it. Their energy starts rolling and it takes over. We're lucky we got out there alive. Fuck!
Sookie: I know it was terrible for you, but-
Alcide: You don't know anything!
Sookie: I know that if you don't slow down you're gonna kill us, and I am not going to die 'cause of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!

Sookie: Who would we be if we were normal? It's hard to even picture it. Would we live in Gran's house or your house?
Bill: Both. We'd be married, happily married.
Sookie: And I'm not a waitress anymore. I'm...I'm going to college. No, I'm a real estate agent and I'm really rich.
Bill: I teach third grade and I love my job.
Sookie: We'll have a big flower garden.
Bill: We grow vegetables.
Sookie: Tara comes over for dinner and sometimes we double date with Arlene and Terry.
Bill: And I go fishing with Jason.
Sookie: We don't even know Eric Northman.
Bill: Everything is peaceful.

Sookie: You know perfectly well why I smell the way I smell.
Eric: Like wheat and honey and sunlight.
Sookie: Eric, I am not in the mood.
Eric: What are you?

Sookie: You said you could glamour somebody into letting you bite them? What is that? Hypnosis?
Bill: Kinda. It's similar. All humans are susceptible to it.
Sookie: Have you done it to me?
Bill: No, and I never will.
Sookie: Really? Try it.
Bill: No. I don't feel comfortable with that.
Sookie: You chicken?
Bill: [stops walking and stares intensely into her eyes, whispers] Sookie?
Sookie: [whispers] Yes?
Bill: Can you feel my influence?
Sookie: [laughs] No! Not a bit! Sorry.
Bill: [confused] Sookie, this is very strange.
Sookie: You don't like not being able to control people, do you? That's not a very attractive trait, Bill.
Bill: Human are usually more squeamish about vampires than you are.
Sookie: Who am I to be squeamish about something out of the ordinary?

Sookie: You're too quiet. This isn't like you.
Eric: Yes, it is.
Sookie: No, it's not. The real Eric --
Eric: I am real.
Sookie: Yes, you are. I meant the Eric with his memories. Not much gets him down. Sure, he's a rascal and a troublemaker, and most of the time I'd like to smack the smile off his face, but he's a happy vampire.
Eric: I'll never swim in the sun again. Never feel the heat on my skin. Never see the daylight in your hair.
Sookie: Well, the nighttime's not so bad. You've still got the stars in the sky.
Eric: Don't. I'm not a child.
Sookie: I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.
Eric: You think I'm weak.
Sookie: No.
Eric: You want the Eric who doesn't feel.
Sookie: It's not that.
Eric: If you kiss me, I promise to be happy.
Sookie: [smiles] No.
Eric: [smiles back] Why? it's only a kiss.

Sophie-Anne: Maenads are sad, silly things. The world changed centuries ago and they're still waiting for the God who comes.
Bill: Does he ever come?
Sophie-Anne: Of course not. Gods never actually show up. They only exist in humans' minds, like money and morality.
Bill: If I can't kill her, how do I get her to leave Bon Temps?
Sophie-Anne: She has to believe that she successfully summoned forth Dionysus in hopes that he will ravish her and quite literally devour her until she's lost into oblivion.
Bill: So she seeks death? The true death. The one thing she has evolved beyond.
Sophie-Anne: Ironic, isn't it? You know they're really not that smart, these maenads.
Bill: So how does she summon this non-existent god of hers?
Sophie-Anne: I never said he was non-existent. I just said he never comes. She believes if she finds the perfect vessel, sacrifices and devours part of him or her, plus surrounded by the magic of her familiars than her mad god will appear. At that point when she willingly surrenders herself to him...
Bill: That's the only point she can be killed.

Stan: [entering the sanctuary with his vampires] Steve Newlin! You have pushed us too far. You expect us to sit on our thumbs while you round up your men to come lynch us? We'll kill you first. Same way we did your father.
Sookie: Oh god, no.
Steve Newlin: Murderer!
Stan: [to the other vampires] Destroy them, all of them.
Godric: [from the top altar, as the vamps swarm the sanctuary] Enough! You came for me, I assume. Underling?
[all movement stops]
Stan: Yes, sheriff.
Godric: These people have not harmed me. You see we can coexist. Mr. Newlin, I do not wish to create blood shed when none is called for. Help me set an example. If we leave you in peace, will you do the same?
Steve Newlin: I will not negotiate with subhumans! Kill me. Do it. Jesus will protect me.
Godric: I am actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him, but I missed it. [to the armed congregation] Good people, who of you is willing to die for this man's madness? [silence] That's what I thought. Stand down, everyone. People, go home. It's over now.
Sookie: Oh, thank god. Bill?
Bill: It's alright. You're safe now.

Stan: You should have told me Eric hired a fuckin' human, Isabel.
Sookie: Now wait just a minute.
Bill: [about Sookie] Respect her!
Isabel: [to Stan] I couldn't tell you, Stan. You've been off on your own for days.
Eric: Are you certain Godric was abducted by the Fellowship of the Sun?
Isabel: No!
Stan: Yes! They're the only ones with the organization and man-power.
Isabel: But they're amateurs. It doesn't make any sense. This is Godric we're talking about. Two-thousand years old.
Stan: Old don't make you smart.
Isabel: Besides, there's no proof.
Sookie: If they've got him, I'll hear it. That's my job.
Stan: There's no reason to wait. We need to take these fanatics down. Full out attack. Exterminate them like the vermin they are.
Isabel: Hmm, vampire hating church annihilated. Wonder who did it? Fucking brilliant!
Bill: I doubt the king of Texas would approve of the destruction of our international political agenda.
Stan: Fuck that. The great revelation is the biggest mistake we ever made.
Isabel: Don't use Godric to make your own little power play.
Eric: You are completely incompetent! What's happened to Godric that he surrounds himself with clowns?
Isabel: We invited you as a courtesy. This is not your territory. You have no voice here.
Stan: Yeah, sheriff. Why don't you run back on down to Louisiana. We don't need you or your puppets.
Eric: I'm not going anywhere.
Sookie: I'm nobody's puppet!
Stan: I have a plan.
Isabel: It's not a plan, it's a movie!

Summer: I even offered him my virginity and he turned me down flat.
Maxine: [handing Summer a handkerchief] Summer, I appreciate that, even if you broke God's law.
Summer: It's my fault. [about Jessica] I'm not tall like her. Can't even reach stuff on my own closet shelf without a grabber. And I'm not pretty like her.
Maxine: [shaking her head] Oh, don't say such a thing! She's not even alive! And you are cute as pigs.

Talbot: [about Sophie-Anne] You never said she was going to live with us.
Russell: She's my wife, Talbot. We just acquired the state of Louisiana. I thought you would have been excited.
Talbot: Excited? Franklin's brains won't wash off the guest linens; I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I've had enough excitement, thank you.

Talbot: [upon seeing Franklin entering the house with Tara] No! No no no. Not you.
Franklin: Russell's expecting me.

Talbot: You are not supposed to bring work home.
Russell: Darling, [points to himself] King!

Tara: (to her girlfriend) Everyone who's ever been with me has ended up dead. It ain't a long list, but it's a bad one to be on.

Tara: [about Maryann] So, collecting stray black people. That some kind of hobby of hers?
Eggs: [laughing] She's right about you. You are funny.
Tara: Oh, yeah? What else she tell you about me?
Eggs: She said you crashed your car with a gallon of whiskey in your lap.
Tara: It was vodka. Really cheap vodka.
Eggs: Hey, I'm not judging you... Believe me. When Maryann found me, I was... let's just say I was a hell of a lot worse off than you. She's a miracle worker. You'll see.
Tara: Yeah, well. I won't be stickin' around that long.
Eggs: It's too bad.
Tara: My momma, when she thought somethin' was too good to be true, she'd say, Satan in a Sunday hat. That's exactly what this is.
Eggs: You know it took me a long time to stop looking over my shoulder too. But there's good people in this world. Sometimes, good shit happens.

Tara: [about vampires] Do you think they're capable of lovin' a person?
Lafayette: Who knows what they're capable of.