Ianto: That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, you're chasing the scum of the universe, come midnight you're the wedding fairy.

Intercom: This is a UNIT facility. Your rights as a citizen have been withdrawn. You will be held here indefinitely. We are not required to provide you with legal representation. Anything you say will be recorded. You will be allowed no communication with any person or organization outside this facility. There is no right of appeal. If you fail to comply with the rules we are authorized to discipline you.

Jack: Only in suffering do we realize beauty.
Owen: Yeah, yeah. Who said that?
Jack: Proust.
Owen: You've read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. [pause] Well, no. We dated for a while. He was really immature.

Jack: [After introducing the team] Meet
John: Captain John Hart.
Jack: We go back.
John: Excuse me, we more than go back. We were partners.
Ianto: In what way?
John: In every way. And then some.

Jack: [looking through a dress catalogue] Nope, like that one. Good choice.
Ianto: I estimated Gwen's size from the Hub's security laser scans. As you know, my dad was a master tailor; he could size a man's inside leg measurement by his stride across the shop threshold.
Jack: Ah, a family eye. Remind me to test it some time.
Ianto: Well, if later on-
Owen: [walking through the threshold] Jack!
Ianto: Yep, brilliant, like that one.

Jack: [talking about the alien] We're going to save it. Stabilize it, wait for the rift to open, and, fwooh, send it back.
Ianto: ...And guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime?

Jack: And you are?
Ianto: Jones, Ianto Jones.
Jack: Nice to meet you Jones Ianto Jones.

Jack: Come back with me. I've got somewhere nice and big where you can fly around.
Ianto: So you'll let the pterodactyl in and not me?!
Jack: I need a guard dog.
Ianto: I could be that!

Jack: Have faith, with a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: And what if they can't stop it?
Tosh: They'll stop it.
Owen:Yeah, but if they can't?
Ianto: Then it's...all over.
Owen: [after a pause] Let's all have sex.
Ianto: [deadpan] And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.

Jack: Hey, when you joked about the Millennium Bug, I didn't realise it was gonna have 18 legs stacked with poison. Anyone home? Hey! You know you're supposed to party like it's... (stops and sees his dead crew, then a man) Alex?
Alex: Jack! Just in time.
Jack: Alex? What happened? Who did this?
Alex: Me.
Jack: What? Why?
Alex: We got it wrong, Jack. We thought we could control the stuff we found. And what's it brought us? So much death.
Jack: What happened to them?
Alex: It's good you're here. Always did have great timing. This place, it's yours. Torchwood Three. My gift to you, Jack, for a century of service as field operative. Fill this place with purpose. Before it's too late. Please.
Jack: Alex, listen. It's going to be okay.
Alex: No. It's not. It's really not. I looked inside. It showed me what's coming. They were mercy killings. It's the kindest thing I could do. So none of us see the storm. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you. 21st century, Jack. Everything's gonna change. And we're not ready. (gun to forehead)
Jack: Alex!

Jack: Ianto, with me. I need your local knowledge.
Gwen: Oh, is that what you're calling it these days?

Jack: Looks like we're going to have to go through every drawer, bin and plant-pot.
Ianto: Right, OK. I'll do this floor, don't want you getting over excited. You take the roof, you're good on roofs.
[Pause. Jack starts to leave]
Ianto: Jack? Why are we helping him?
Jack: He's a reminder of my past, I want him gone.
[Beat]
Jack: By the way, was that a yes?
Ianto: Yes, yes...

Jack: Now I have to help you all go back. Find a memory that defines you, rediscover who you are. If I'm wrong, he will still be here when we've done this. [turns off computer screen] Let me take you back to before we all met. [turns off lights] Feel around for anything that makes you what you are. The hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are.
Gwen: College canteen. Rhys is sitting opposite me telling stupid jokes.
[Flashback] - :Rhys: where do you find a tortoise with no legs? Where you left it!
Owen: It's my birthday, ten. My mum spends the whole day screaming, ‘I love you because you're my son but that doesn't mean I have to like you.'
Tosh: Maths club. There's something so reliable about maths. Always the right answer.
Ianto: Meeting Lisa. Falling in love. I never felt so alive.
Owen: Turned sixteen, she packs my bags. That is the nicest thing you've done for me in years mother.
Gwen: Kissing in the supermarket. The look on his face.
Tosh: My first flat. I don't have a flat warming � there's no one I want to invite.
Ianto: Losing Lisa. Like the world had ended.
Gwen: The way he looks at me sometimes, as if he's scared of what he feels for me. I love him [turns to Jack] but not in the way I love you.
Jack: [to Gwen] Take this [Gwen takes the retcon pill]
Tosh: Knowing there has to be more to life than this, knowing I'm special, waiting for someone to see it.
Jack: I saw it [gives her a pill]
Owen: You save one life, a hundred lives but it's never enough. Who will save me?
Jack: I will [gives him a pill]
Ianto: Coming here, it gave me meaning again. [Turns to Jack] You. [Jack kisses his forehead then gives him a pill]
Jack: [to everyone] You each have a short-term amnesia pill. It will make you forget Adam. We have to wipe out the last 48 hours from our memories. Go back to who we were.
[Ianto takes his pill]
[Cut to Adam in his cell]
[Gwen takes her pill]
[Cut to Adam in his cell]
[Owen takes his pill]
Tosh: [Switches the screen on to look at Adam in his cell] I'm going to lose so much.
Jack: None of it was real.
Tosh: He loved me and I loved him. It's no different from real memories.
Jack: He forced it on you. You have to let it go
Tosh: [Takes her pill, then looks at the screen] Goodbye Adam.

Jack: Oh yeah, I love that office-y feel. I always get excited in these places. To me they're exotic. Office romances... Photocopying your butt, well maybe not your butt, although whilst we're here why don't we photo-
Ianto: The rift was active at these coordinates, approximately 200 feet above ground. That means this floor or the roof.
Jack: How are you, Ianto?
Ianto: All the better for having you back, Sir.
Jack: Can we drop the 'Sir' now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking, maybe we could...You know, when this is all done...Dinner, a movie...?
Ianto: Are you asking me out on a date?
Jack: Interested?
Ianto: [stuttering] Well, as long as it's not in an office...Some fetishes should be kept to yourself.

Jack: Oh, by the way, I found your diary.
Ianto: Ah, yes, I've been looking for that. [starts to walk away]
Jack: And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.
Ianto: [quietly] Fuck.