Torchwood quotes

257 total quotes



All Seasons
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Jilly: There's a good reason the churches are empty. People don't want to hear about Heaven. They'd rather hear from the man who has gazed into Hell itself, and that's you. Frankly I think if the Devil himself were to walk this earth, he'd need representation.
Danes: If the Devil himself walked this earth, he'd surely be working in PR.
[after Lyn knocks the antidote to Jack's poison out of Gwen's hand]

Jim: It's the story of Tithonus. One of the Greek goddesses asks Zeus to make Tithonus immortal, but she forgot to ask for eternal youth. He became so ancient and decrepit that he eventually shrank into a cicada. He begged for death.
This is no miracle. This just, this just means that sooner or later we're all going to hell.

John: [lustfully] Oh, that's gorgeous.
Gwen: That's a poodle.
John: S'Nice!

John: Did I mention I'm armed?

John: It was like having a wife.
Jack: You were the wife.
John: You were the wife...
Jack: No, you were the wife...
John: Oh, but I was a good wife!
Tosh: I bet you were! [Gets a look off Owen] What, don't pretend you haven't noticed...he's cute.
John: You're just shy.

John: Oh, by the way, I found Gray.
[Jack stands in shocked silence]

John: Ooh, you've got a team. How sweet.[looks at Tosh] Pretty friend. No blonde, though, you need a blonde.
Owen: God, he's worse than Jack.
John: Do you have a team name? I love team names. Go on!
Jack: Torchwood.
John: Oh, not Excalibur? Blizzard? Bikini Cops? No? Torchwood. Oh dear.

John: You took your time!
Gwen: On your knees!
John: [sigh] Honestly, it's just sex, sex, sex, with you people.
Gwen: Now!

John: Here's what's going to happen: everything you love, everything you treasure, will die. I'm gonna tear your world apart, Captain Jack Harkness, piece by piece. Starting now.

Katie: It's like being lost in a place you know really well, you can't get your bearings. Sometimes it comes back to you. and sometimes, I'm sorry, Owen.
Owen: What've you got to be sorry for?
Katie: I don't want to put you through this. Last night, I dreamt that you left me.
Owen: Come on. Nobody's leaving anyone.

Lenses: We have your mother. We have your husband. We have your child.
Gwen: Who are you? What do you want? What do you want?!
Lenses: Bring us Jack.

Little Girl: He's coming, the one you're looking for. The century will turn twice before you find each other again.
Jack: Ooh. Are you for real? You mean I have to wait a hundred years to find him? What'll I do in the meantime?

Maggie: Okay, you're dead, and clearly that's a bit shit, and I'm sorry and everything, but if, if you are dead, then why are you here? You can't be wanting to jump, you can't die twice!
Owen: Sorry, are you an expert?
Maggie: Sorry, are you an idiot?
Owen: Yeah, I'm a dead idiot.

Maggie: So she offers to help you and you push her away. Charming.
Owen: Yeah, hole in the chest. Sorry if I don't follow social niceties any more.
Maggie: You mean you did before?
Owen: God, you're a pain in the arse, aren't you?

Maitre'd: Love the vintage coat.
Jack: Thanks. Maybe the three of us should have dinner sometime.