Seth: My friend Ryan, he's really cool, okay? He's very anti-establishment. He enjoys sunset walks on the beach, punching people, and not smiling.
Alex: And that's how you see me?
Seth: Yeah. Only with less smiling.

Seth: oh my god
Marissa: oh my god
Alex: oh my god

Seth: Our noses grazed. And it was like the most sexually charged nose-graze in the history of nose grazes. It's essentially nose-humping, is what it is.

Seth: Ryan, my girlfriend went out with a girl. There's only one thing to do to make it okay.
Zach: You're gonna hook up with a guy?

Seth: Ryan, would you please take the minutes?
Ryan: Uh, Seth, it's just us.
Seth: Yeah, uh-huh. Write that down.

Seth: So what kind of dancing are we talking about? A little Jazz Step, a little Soft Shoe?
Mary Sue: Actually, it's not quite a dance contest.
Seth: It isn't?
Mary Sue: No.
Ryan: She's got whipped cream, Seth.
Seth: Yeah, I know. Maybe she's... baking a cake.
Mary Sue: See, I'm gonna cover myself with whipped cream, and you're gonna lick it all off and eat a cherry out of my mouth before any of the other contestants.
Seth: Did she say "cherry"?
Mary Sue: If we win, it would mean so much to my grandma. Not having to worry about my college loans. With all the money she spends on medication.
Seth: Yeah. It's for Grandma.

Seth: So, today's topics, we have some topics... The Hulk. He gets bigger, all his clothes rip off. Except his pants. Why is that?

Seth: Spiderman is really the only protective headgear I own.
Summer: Well, it's too bad you weren't wearing protective headgear when you were dropped on your head as a child.
Seth: Oh, zing!

Seth: That is how lame I have become. I can't even be third-wheel to an actual relationship.

Seth: Tonight Newport is our bitch, okay?

Seth: Turns out I don't make a very convincing Superhero.

Seth: You're gonna walk up to her [Marissa] in front of the entire student body and and be all "hey" and just hope she "heys" you back?
Ryan: [pause] Yeah, we're not going to school.

Seth: You're still an Atwood. Only a slightly more edgy, darker version, I think. But some people think Ryan's gotten a little softer.
Trey: Ryan said you talk a lot.

Summer: Cohen learned how to grill this summer. It's a major life achievement.
Seth: That's right. I grilled some corn, I grilled some veggies, I found something in Marissa's fridge, I just-- I grilled it.

Summer: Cohen, just shut up. 'Cause even when you're not lying, you're lying.