Seth: She said that about me? That she thinks I'm the funniest guy ever?
Danny: Yes. You and some dude named Captain Oats. Who the hell is Captain Oats?

Seth: So what's the GP, RA?
Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.
Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood.
Ryan: You're just using initials now?
Seth: Yeah. They save time.
Ryan: Well, not if you have to translate.
Seth: GP.
Ryan: Game Plan?
Seth: Good Point.

Seth: So when you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic the Gathering.
Ryan: You still play Magic.
Seth: Yeah, but not as much.

Seth: So, what's it gonna be, huh? You want your menorah or a candy cane? Christmas or Hanukkah?
Ryan: Uh...
Seth: Don't worry about it, buddy, because in this house, you don't have to choose. Allow me to introduce you to a little something I like to call... Chrismukkah.

Seth: Summer's right over there. Look. Oh, stop, don't look. But, I mean you can look, but don't look like you're looking.

Seth: Summer, can I walk you to class?
Summer: I can walk myself.
Seth: Great, then you can walk me, too.

Seth: The ink's all smudged, I can't even read it! Is that a "v" or a "q"? Here, look, right there. First sentence says "I love you," but what is that word right there? "Azerbaijan"? "Aztecs"?
Summer: Aspirin.
Seth: You think it says "aspirin"?
Summer: No, you're giving me a headache.
Seth: Okay. "Coincidence"? "Confucius"? What is the "c" word?
Summer: Confusing?
Seth: You think it says "confusing"?
Summer: No! You're confusing me.

Seth: The master race has been perfected, Ryan, and they all go to our school.

Seth: There should be a channel on television, I think, of us watching television.
Anna: We're that good.
Summer: Yeah, you are. You're so that good. You're whole witty-banter thing is so cute, you guys. You guys are like brother and sister. Yeah, you guys could totally be related.

Seth: We gotta get your photo taken for your school ID.
Ryan: Another mugshot?
Seth: If you must be so cynical.

Seth: What are we we do, man? I don't want to get thrown out of the hotel. I love the hotel. I wanna marry the hotel and have little gambling-addicted alcoholic kids with it.

Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.
Ryan: What happens in Mexico?
Seth: I don't know, because it stays there. That's why we must go!

Seth: What if the girl I'm supposed to be with just went back to Pittsburgh?
Ryan: What if she went back to Chino?
Seth: Why would Anna go to Chino? Kidding, come on.
Ryan: Nice one. Well, at least we still have each other.
Seth: Actually, I have Summer now. But I'll put a little Seth/Ryan time on the books. That's quality time.
Ryan: Thanks, buddy. I could always hang out with Luke. What do you think he's doing right now?
Seth: Discovering fire? Hunting and gathering? Shaving his chest with a buck knife? You guys could do that together.
Ryan: I do do that.

Seth: What would you say, in your professional surgical opinion, Summer has more of? Vim or vigor?

Seth: What? It's Anna. I could have said "pop a squat" in front of her if I wanted to.
Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds.
Seth: Sometimes I do.