Taylor: "Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;/Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes."
Kirsten: Taylor, that's beautiful.
Taylor: Shakespeare. Old Bill's always good for a line.

Taylor: [to Ryan] No, I accepted your gift: the holiday-themed rejection. So now you accept mine!

Taylor: But if I can leave you all with one final word of advice: Illegitimis nil carborundum. Don't let the bastards get you down!

Taylor: Don't you think the boys are acting weird?
Summer: Shifty looks, finishing each other's sentences, like they're composing a lie on the spot?
Taylor: Yes.
Summer: Totally normal for them.

Taylor: Excuse me, the girl just has a healthy sex drive.
Summer: Yeah, for a hooker.

Taylor: I don't know what to say.
Ryan: That's a first.

Taylor: I've never met an awkward silence I couldn't fill.

Taylor: Look who's funny in alt-world!

Taylor: Mom, I'm really sorry I shot you, I know we don't always get along, but ... I really love you.
Veronica (long pause): I love you too.
Taylor: I don't think I've ever heard you say that before.
Veronica: Taylor, that's why I went to Julie's. After the earthquake happened all I could think about was you.
Taylor: Oh my God Mom, me too.
Veronica: I was shot because I'm such a total failure as a mother. It never even occurred to you that I would come looking for you.
Taylor: But you did. So...
Veronica: So...
Taylor: Oh Mom.
(Taylor and Veronica Hug)

Taylor: Okay, Ryan. Even if I was that limber, you know I would never do that in the Chunnel.

Taylor: Okay, they're gonna play the money card but we can play the emotion card. Am I right Ryan?
Ryan: Yeah, you're right.
Taylor: Okay, Frank. Tell me what it is that you love about Julie?
Frank: Well, um... She's... Uh...
Taylor: I forgot what we're dealing with here. Atwoods on Valentine's Day.

Taylor: Summer, do you really think Pancakes is in the attic? Like he pulled down the ladder, hopped up and then put it away?

Taylor: This cannot be happening. [to a bookstore worker] Excuse me, uh, what is this book?
Bookstore Guy: A Season for Peaches. It's the bestseller from France. English translation came in today.
Taylor: Okay, what's it about?
Bookstore Guy: Kind of, like, Bridges of Madison County meets The Notebook meets... porn.
Taylor: Oh, my God. Plot, please.
Bookstore Guy: Uh, this Frenchman seduces this young American girl and then they get married... I can't remember where.
Taylor: His family's chapel in Burgundy.
Bookstore Guy: Oh, so you read it.
Taylor: No, I lived it. I'm Peaches.

Taylor: Uh, Mister! Mail Carrier, sir! ‘Scuse me, please! Could you wait? Hi. I'm sorry. Um, a woman in that house where I live just gave you a letter that she shouldn't have and, uh, I kind of need it back.
Mailman: Ma'am, once the letter goes in the pouch. it's the property of the federal government.
Taylor: Okay... and I totally understand that. But if you take that letter, I am gonna lose my place at Berkeley and the chance to be with the man I love and who I think loves me, and, and... 15 years from now, when he is trapped in a loveless marriage and I have become a cold, hard ice-queen for whom love is no more than a distant memory, it will all come down to the fact that this morning, which, coincidentally, happens to be my birthday, you obeyed the letter of the law at the expense of simple, human charity.
Mailman: Wow, that was amazing.
Taylor: Can I have my letter now?
Mailman: Yeah, sure.

The tour guide: Kumar? Your name is Kumar?
Seth: Yes. Kumar Zimmerman. I'm half Indian, I'm half Jewish. I am a Hinjew.